How’s everyone doing today?
It’s crazy “out there”. So much disinfo. Claims without proof.
Feeling heavy – doubting myself. What is the purpose of these feeeeeeeeelings so many of us get – with the numbers in particular – what does it bring us? Same for the synchs to keep us going for a bit. What do they really do to truly help? I want to wake up to a new world. I want to wake up and FEEEEEEEEEEEEL the way I seek. Last time that happened was the day after the 2016 election. Palpable feeling. Ever since it’s been little glimpses. A glimpse here and there. It isn’t enough in these current moments where I don’t know how I am going to get through another winter mentally – another winter being in the same situation when everything in me pleads for NEW. I could have that – now – once I connect with the right people with the resources and heart. I’m as done as one can be in doing the same thing – but I don’t know what else TO do different now. I don’t. I just don’t.
The mental thing – that exhaustion – I feel I have this heavy blanket over my brain. Know what helps with that? Sun. Warmth. Bike riding. But those days are gone – for now – soon to be for days -weeks at a time – when I kept telling myself I would not have to deal with that another year because of my focus and direction and choices would create my new experience. Yes, I know I have once created weather. If another human can do that with their tech – so can this woman. So can ALL of us with focused intent and someone with the means to get some of that tech and frigging use it for good. It’s been very dry here – overall – and just 1 day of rain and outside smells like mold/mildew and there are suddenly mushrooms all over the yard. One day. Tell me they ain’t spraying us with stuff.
Still.
While I want and command NEW.
Some power I have.
We’re told we have the power while also being told to trust the plan and wait – let things unfold as they need to (who is behind it all IF not us?).
Paradox?
I know this plan/awakening is about more than just myself – but for me – now? It IS just about myself and what I need – and what I want my girl to have – what I want to give her. So I forget the big picture and keep it small – right here.
I’ve been looking for someone to work with me – in person – to face trauma/phobias head on in the situation in which I get triggered – all year. I will need to keep looking. The one person I was hoping to work with finally responded – but doesn’t take insurance. The last time I worked with her she was in the process of undertaking that approach. She now charges $100 per visit. I don’t have that kind of money. I was hoping for a sliding scale fee – she no longer offers that. It’s disappointing. Some people who “have” don’t always see others who don’t. She and her spouse own their home outright – it’s gorgeous too. They travel. Perhaps I’m being too judgmental. I don’t really care though. My experience out in this reality has pushed me into more of an angry/had it/done/I will SCREAM if I have to in order to get what I need – and create what I seek. And when it all comes down to MONEY and those WITH do not want to “go there” – I get into the judgment space. Or perhaps – righteously angry.
I need to create a poster to simply wave around. The face of my child on it. Sharing the story. You want to say no to this? Because I am as done as one can get in doing the same because at the time I have no. other. f’ing. option.
Let’s bring this thing to an end and release abundance – starting with those who are needing to change their experience – often long. ago. In the interim, I continue doing what I do. last night I was up until 2am applying for some online writing work. And I continue to seek someone willing to run a campaign fundraiser. There’s $$ in it for them.
10:10 – starting out as a total UGH day. Those expectations – which are really just heart feeeeeeeeeeels – can slam you some moments.
Love,
V.
******
Really heavy today. Over 320 up in the states. Majority along the borders.
ADS-B Exchange – track aircraft live (adsbexchange.com)
Market’s are up. War = Busine$$. “They” continue to profit while the rest of us struggle and enslave ourselves just to eat. REALLY needing this to switch… !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
MarketWatch: Stock Market News – Financial News – MarketWatch
dark to light feeeeeeeeeeeeeeels https://t.co/ijXOhNgHc4
— Luciana Nina Leone (@nina_leone11) October 10, 2023
Anonymity is just an illusion online these days. They have AI analyzing all major internet traffic and can narrow down an originating IP in seconds. VPN and TOR won't help much.
Always will be an Anon but I have no expectation of Anonymity. At some point we all stand as one… https://t.co/5ffWwI6Rp4
— Vincent Kennedy (@VincentCrypt46) October 10, 2023
Good timestamp (11:44):
Hate on me all you want, but I’m still in the camp of:
– Patriots are in control
– Trump is CIC
– Military is running things
– The real Joe Biden is dead
– Hillary is dead
– Our border is more secure than you think
– Actors are everywhere
– Justice is coming— DOQ (@doqholliday) October 10, 2023
Everything is suspect:
Something odd happened with the music festival in Israel. The event was planned for another location. It was moved with 48 hours notice, and moved to an area with poor security, in a zone that wasn't fit for that level of an event. Why would an entire international music festival…
— Wyatt (@austerrewyatt1) October 10, 2023
“actors”……
.an absence of any “good actors” and the bleak state of humanity…
Interesting words…….
Harvest time. (ain’t doing this again next year)
Got out in the combine 2day to help w harvest on the Grassley farm #cornwatch pic.twitter.com/icWinaoPYv
— Chuck Grassley (@ChuckGrassley) October 10, 2023
Wells Fargo down again. (and others)
******
