3.17 ~ reflecting and finds

 

May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with so much didn't deserve.'

 

talking with a few beautiful ones.  collective energy is DEPLETION – how will i continue to do what i do each day?  highly charged emotions.  body challenges.  mind challenges.  mental challenges.  sleep?  what is that? (it’s also national sleep day btw)…. uninterrupted that is.  you know – the 6 hours or more of deep restorative necessity.  i remain focused on receiving the energies of the REAL Universe.  sometimes it’s there – other times feeling angst frustration angry and lost in this sheot pit.  today?  feeling like an absolute failure – which i know i’m not – but here?  well – i feel it atm – a temporary state that i am shifting – this one is difficult though as it involves my child (really don’t care as i once did how this system and the masses perceive my $$ status).  my child – who of course is still a kid – asking me for a dog.  wanting to move to a big house.  wanting to take horse riding lessons.  wanting her own bathroom.  and a phone of her own.  and i struggle every day just to get through the day – carving out time to THINK of some new idea i haven’t yet explored- seeking SOMETHING positive to shift my experience so i don’t have to spend one more second wondering how i am going to have enough money just to eat for the month.  my beautiful enthusiastic girl – who i know is struggling somewhat just like the rest of us in this reality – who is naturally wanting an entirely new experience and i can’t give her anything on her list of what she seeks.  so i hear her talk about it – daily – and i’m melting down now inside hearing those words – that are now thorns in my side – unintentional of course – but still feeling like i have failed her.  i have enough worry over putting food on the table now for the month – let alone wondering how i will get her the clothes she is going to need as a growing child.

some days i have the patience to be still and trust what i seek seeks me and will manifest.  other days – like today – that inner patience and peace just ain’t happening.

other than that –  feeling a quiet that feels quite uncomfortable.  like i be looking like this:

here’s what i am seeing.

love,

v.

******

 

well i’ll say this – i’ve aged.  i am less patient.  less tolerant.  more exhausted.  feeling more depleted.  pressured energetically (compressed then expanded).  more detached – even when i don’t want to be.  crying more.  unable to keep ANY words needing to be spoken silent (when i do – it comes out and can be quite messy).  but i also know more of what i want – what is ok with me – and what isn’t and that knowing is now immediate.  and most everything in this reality is not “ok” with me – certainly not what we are forced to do to survive.  i am longing for something i cannot see – something i don’t even know if it exists as i have no proof other than the deep inner KNOWING i seek it and need it – some moments absolutely desperately.  and waiting – always seemingly waiting – on something out there to shift that changes me into the version i seek – bringing me to a reality i long for – that i need.  needing healthy beautiful fresh succulent fruit for my entire survival at every. f’ing. level – while being forced to survive on old bitter fruit (metaphor) atm and tossing a bunch of supplements inside while doing yoga and stretching to release the angst and rage and distracting when i can- just to keep going one. more. day.

 

 

aligning……….affirming!

 

 

Groundhog day.  Aren’t we all DONE w/their version of what we can/should have?  Their resets?  “them” period??!!  FUCH YA!

 

John Wick’s “in the air”………..

 

 

 

 

 

don’t know this person and it’s a new account that just popped up – but i’m feeeeeeeling this as well (dark to LIGHT)………..and it’s intense as hades atm isn’t it?

 

 

Show the people then – in TRUTH – instead of some dayem movie script/scene….

 

i always liked this guy….the tequila dude………lol

 

Inspiration………..

 

 

 

Aligning……

 

 

7.11 tstamp……….

 

 

 

Two words:  I’m Back!  Decided to gematria (I’M BACK)…..55 in hebrew gematria

May

Meta

 

https://apnews.com/article/trump-return-facebook-post-012019ec3ef2c37a931fe4e4a7391a7c

 

 

back on utube as well………..

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-64993603

 

 

anyone know the way outta this place?  lol

Image

 

May be an image of cat and text that says 'I TRIED TO BE NORMAL ONCE. WORST TWO MINUTES OF MY LIFE.'

 

 

May be an image of text that says '& maybe be today is the start of something. Maybe by you just waking up this morning you have set in motion a series of beautifully complicated miracles. a.a.malee'

 

 

national sleep day………….how appropriate…….whatever u r doing – go back to bed………..

https://www.zerohedge.com/medical/39-americans-cant-sleep

 

https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/white-house-rejects-cease-fire-ukraine-china-mediation-intensifies

 

going after P and T……..

https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/arrest-warrant-issued-president-putin-hague-based-icc

 

https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fed-just-hijacked-american-democracy

 

reflecting here ~ what if some part of us actually lived through the entire timeline of horror?  what if this time we shift out of it because we LEARNED…

 

reminder:

Picture

 

******

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.