For Rick… [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]
I feel like this young girl does ~ bored. It’s an overall state of mind. Waiting on this “something” to “get going already” so I can “get on with things”. Making my own plans just feels unnatural, overall. Being in the flow isn’t enough any longer either.
I FEEL I am in this holding pattern, waiting to begin DOING. New. Different. It’s fall. All year I have felt “fall” for big changes – not just collectively but also for me as well.
I’m about ready to pitch a fit here. Well not a fit – that requires too much effort. But certainly go on strike perhaps. Hey Higher Self ~ guess what? I am tired of doing all the work. Tired of purging. Tired of accepting and allowing. Tired of healing myself. Tired of looking within. Tired of DOING. Tired of reminding myself to do all of the previous only to do the same thing all over again. I command the EZ button now.
This is all just boring for me. Too damn boring. Most everyone around me is still so indulged in 3D illusions and drama. Many of my friends are still so hung up on their disgust for the president, they cannot see anything else (where was this disgust for Bush?). Most everyone in my world wants to discuss the weather or what football team is on the tube or now “what are you doing for the holidays?” OMG DISAPPEAR??!!! so I don’t have to listen to another holiday jingle or be assaulted by red and green and ribbons and bows entering the store or to be asked if I am going to stuff an effing turkey this year……(and this makes me sad – i’m not the grinch – i love holidays and gatherings and eating good food – i just want something N E W)
I go to social places, hang out with people (because I need social interaction – duh – and yet…..) and OMG if I have to endure the “look” one more time when I attempt to talk about something I’m interested in, I may just spit. Oh so UFO’s aren’t real? NASA tells the truth? Weather modification is a myth? Ascension and paranormal experiences are too spooky to discuss? Climate change models are based on truth? Those trails in the skies are normal? Please, share more of your wisdom with me…rolling my eyes…
ARGH!!!!
Time’s up with me to try anymore with the masses. One individual tonight said they were headed home to watch Rachel Maddow. He knows I don’t like her and enjoys prodding me. I didn’t invite this conversation. He just tossed it my way. Today, instead of ignoring or feigning a laugh, I tossed back and said “Destroying more brain cells again, eh? Balance it out with a little Alex Jones” and walked away.
This used to be enjoyable in a way. It isn’t any more.
I am tired. I am tired of intending my tribe of people. Tired of intending the life I want. I can feel it, ok? I have felt it. I feel it daily in those moments when I am not so fucking bored I want to scream.
So get on with it already Higher Self, Source, Cosmos. You have sent me visions and dreams of this place I and my family are ready to jet on to. I have done the work. I am tired. And now you can add the boredom energy to the mix. Waving the white flag.
Let’s get on with it already.
Let’s get’er done.
Well, Ms V, I’ve been on this rollercoaster ride of growth to awareness since 1974. I’m now 72 years young and I say “Dear God let’s get on with it!” You need a VACATION! Me too. Of course my standard answer is “Plant more trees” All my best, Jim
that’s funny – lol – plant more trees. but appropriate too. lately i have been hearing/saying “chop wood, carry water” when i get into that space. 1974 – that is a long “time”. for me it began in the late 80’s although to be honest i have “known” something was very “wrong” with reality since i was about 4. however long, yes, LET US GET ON WITH IT! taking my phd on surviving bullshit while flourishing/growing and movin’ on. hey that’s a pretty catchy title…