7.9.24 ~ Energizer female just keeps going ~ Sharing finds along the way

 

Day was good.

Day was not so good.

I have this deep pain – deep deep within – of feeling invisible.  Unheard.  We probably all have it to some degree.  I don’t know – maybe, maybe not.  I just know I have it and I don’t know what to do about it.  Other than what I already do – feel it – honor it – do what I can to release it.  Until it returns again.  It is really activated atm – considering all of the reaching out I have been doing at a new level – and not seeing a g.d. thing for my results – for what I am putting out.

I don’t understand.  I saw a woman receive a beautiful miracle – something she so deserved.  How did she create it?  Given the words she expressed – that she didn’t deserve the gift – how uncomfortable she was in receiving it – if our thoughts create – how the hell was she able to receive it in the first place?  

The longer I’m here the more surreal and unreal this place becomes.  I don’t know who I am in it – other than someone who is trying so hard to improve her life and not making the progress I know my energies I have put INTO this should have manifested by now.  I feel an oppressive energy saying “NO” around me and yet I pay it no attention.

But it’s still there.

Tonight, at the store with my girl doing some clothes shopping, there were two girls, young teens, shopping in the same area.  For a minute or two, my girl was in one section and I another.  On the way home she said she needed to tell me something.  She said the two girls were giggling and pointing at her, saying how ugly her outfit was.  Well, I immediately wanted to go back to the store and give them a few things to think about, but naturally my girl said, “MOM NO!”  I was willing to return but respected her decision.  And we talked about this behavior, how wrong it was, how deep down these girls must truly feel so awful about themselves to find humor in poking fun of someone they don’t even know.  Yes, she knew this – but it still doesn’t help with the pain nor does it soothe my protective instincts that wanted to return and wring those little sheots necks.

Go grey rock.  Shrug it off.  Well guess what?  Some of us are real humans here – some are tender hearted – some are so pure they would never even think to harm or hurt someone like that and find enjoyment in it.  And when ugly words and behaviors are flung our way – unwanted – it f’ing HURTS.

That’s just how kids are.  How people can be.  Heard that b.s. my entire life.

You know what?

This crap continues because good people stand by and do nothing – when they could.  That’s why this world is the way it is.  Not enough people being the helpers and hero’s so many need.

Survival of the fittest continues.  In today’s world, that just makes for desperation.

So, I end this one tonight by saying these words:

I. do. not. understand. anything.  My heart is so broken and hurting – for me – for her.  At least one thing is clear now: I know who has my back and who doesn’t.  Martial arts lessons are going to be up next – if I can afford them that is.  😭

V.

******

 

Anyone else tired of seeing these g.d. male billionaires parade around on the world stage?  Seriously – what are any of them actually doing to truly help those who need it the most?

 

Anyone know how I can find an abandoned cabin somewhere?  Not f’ing joking.  This is so not the answer.  Here, the poor people won’t mind – they will be SO GRATEFUL for the housing and look how GOOD we will look to our peers.  Here poor person, here’s your cramped quarters surrounded by neighbors all around you.  And some of us can’t live in these places in today’s world with the use of laundry sheets which I absolutely cannot do much less be around those who use them.  I drive by places like this around town and about pass out.  Totally contrary to the needs of our Soul.  I figured that one out living in Seattle 30 years ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am looking at some of the air bnb’s here.  My goodness – there are so. many. of them.  Expensive, too.  Do any of these people ever stop to think they could be using this abundance they’ve been afforded to actually HELP someone?  A homeless person or someone in a crisis situation.  I’m tired of seeing the rich scratch the backs of the rich while more and more people become homeless, and others are in crisis – right in their own dayem communities.  WHERE ARE THE HELPERS?!

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.

One thought on “7.9.24 ~ Energizer female just keeps going ~ Sharing finds along the way”

  1. Victoria, I read your emails daily and appreciate the time you take to put these finds out there and expose your heart and soul! YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN HOW YOU FEEL! I read your heartfelt words, and I echo them. I have many sleepless nights because my mind goes deep, and I hurt and I care and I wonder and I question…and in my next day exhaustion I get up and do what I have to do to make ends meet and try to smile and be happy, all the while grateful and thankful, hanging on to the hope that comes with these posts. May all of us here have what we desire in this precious life, for the highest and greatest good for all true divine humans, whatever that magical formula might be…

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