Tiffany Stiles Energy Update ~ Crystalline Energies and My Reflections for the Day

 

well it looks as though i cannot copy and paste from this particular site, so i will link the article here for you to read: https://eraoflight.com/2018/06/27/energy-report-update-crystalline-energies/

i will add my own perspective/experiences resulting from reading this piece. have i got the itchies YES!!!  quite an intense case of it.  woke this morning with a new spot that is not “prone” to itching/rashes.  lathering up with coconut oil.  cool water on the skin.

and i have the gloomy sulky stuff going on too – really big today. overwhelming big.  it kinda scared me – thinking ok if i “go there” will i come out?  i allowed it.  face the fear, right?  trust, surrender.  i have wanted to write about this the past few days but when i go to write, i feel too depleted.  sulky.

today was a beautiful summer day.  i headed out on a bike ride alone, thinking it would lift my spirits.  i couldn’t get there.  i tried but it felt like i was being a fake so i just let myself ride in a gloomy apathetic state.

then i came to this house that i had forgotten about.  a new area in which i have begun to ride.  i saw this yesterday but forgot about it until i was upon this house today again, looked over, saw the signs You Are Not Alone and Don’t Give Up…. and felt the tears pool in my eyes.  (I took pics – tried linking them below- but received an HTTP error)

i’m just tired, so damn tired, and want a new start with so many new doings, things, experiences, surroundings.  it is hard for me to feel that “you are not alone” experience.  i’m currently facing an old wound from childhood ~ being bullied by people once thought to be friends. the feeling of surprise.  wanting to know “why are you doing this to me?  i thought we were friends.”  this continued for me until i was a junior in college, believe it or not.  at the time, even I had a hard time grasping how such behavior was to be found in college.  but when you find out your roommates and supposed friends plotted and carried out a plan to slowly kill the houseplant you had brought into the house, only to watch me try various ways to save it, was just a bit too much for me to stomach.  today it still is.  i can accept a lot, but understand and comprehend?  nope.

my girl is currently dealing with a few bullies in the neighborhood.  one such occurrence happened last night (the threat ~ twice ~ of physical violence upon her) and while i was there to stop it quickly, i could see the look in my girl’s eyes.  i could see that spark go out for a bit, confusion setting in.  she looked at me, her eyes pleading with me.  totally tore at my heart and stirred the inner pot we call mama bear.

talking about it with her she said yes, she could not believe this was happening to her ~ especially from someone who was supposed to be a friend.

so that gave us the chance to talk about friends.  the importance of choosing wisely.  the importance of not letting one act of kindness from someone with a history of abuse and mistreatment to fool you.

learn from mama’s mistakes.  

i so deeply to the core of who i am and who I AM want something new for me and my girl N O W.  for myself a life long experience of being bullied because i am “trusting, soft, gentle” has left me a bit too hardened and distrustful, i know.  i know deep within i am still that soft, trusting gentle Being.  i am adult – i can handle it all.  it is my girl in which i want something new more than anything.  her light is huge – soft – gentle.  very opinionated.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

i do not wish her to grow up in this cold, harsh realm where bully behavior is considered “normal” and the child must “toughen up”.   where others power over her.  my god we have teachers abusing children in first grade. no wonder these children are violent and acting out sometimes.

i had no one to protect me when i was a child.  i am indeed stepping up to protect my child and i have made it clear to both the children engaged in the bullying and most importantly the parents that this behavior is not tolerated ~ adding to STOP accepting this as “normal” behavior (which a surprising number of programmed parents chant).

not.  one.  damn.  more.  second of it is acceptable.

deep breath………

you are not alone.  don’t give up.

that sign today felt like a prompt….

change is here.

the new i desire, about ready to reveal itself.

some itching (and purging) is just part of the trip there….

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victoria

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