Reflections for 11/7/18

 

I sit here ~ battling a cold virus.  There’s never an acceptable time to be sick obviously.  But wow, this was NOT part of my plan for this week.  The weather is great – sunny.  I had plans of walks, bike rides, trips to the park. Instead I’m stuck on the couch, surrounded in a sea of kleenex.  And wondering…when is it going to be my time to have the life I want.

I know what my body and heart tells me ~ I cannot wait any longer. Something has to break ~ something awesome and loving has to break wide open.  HAS TO.   If I have to bust open a door with an ax, so be it.  This “wait and allow” doesn’t work.

I seek guidance within and hear “wait” and “be patient”.  I cut those cords. Nonsense speak.

I need to be healed from this battle with panic and claustrophobia.  I know I can do it with assistance, effective means and love and patience.

I cannot keep living in a community that doesn’t support me.  My child.  My family.

I need the RIGHT educational experience for my child.  This HAS to exist.

I need the RIGHT means of income generating for myself.  I would align with being part of a new tech business that frees us up – provides healing or free energy.

It’s a god damn paradox I am in.  I need change NOW and when I look out into the world as it is now, nothing really aligns with me ~ certainly not in the area in which I reside.  So that means I go along and find something that is at least close to who I am.  One step closer is better than remaining one step behind.

And for now I rest and get my body well again.

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.