Broken heart is the theme for today. Feels like eons of experiences of those moments when your heart feels broken are overwhelming me today – poking to engulf me until I float away in a raging current of tears into another reality called numbness.
How’s that for drama? lol
What’s the solution for pain? Chocolate? Ice cream? Or spilling the beans and releasing it all and knowing every one of us gets the heartbroken program over and over, incarnation after incarnation (meaning: Victoria, you ain’t alone in this). Doesn’t really help – the energy is there in my throat asking for release. So ok cry and remove that damn program already.
I remember in high school telling myself “don’t let ’em break you” – a mantra I continued until sometime in my 20’s when I asked myself “is it possible I AM broken?” Buck up and keep moving on little warrior.
Today I am, well not in my 20’s, and still that broken feeling arises now and then. About the only remedy I know for that is to command – demand – all of me return. The search for the proverbial twin flame and all that is really just a longing to return home to full Self. Has nothing to do with romantic love and all that. We know we’re just a fractal here. Wouldn’t surprise me if pieces of our whole are scattered in other experiences. I need all of me back.
For now I feel as many of you do – lonely, disconnected, needing something really big within – and lately – needing appreciation. I don’t know how to get past that one. Again I know most comes from within. And I know sharing these words doesn’t do a damn thing to change any of it – for me or for anyone else. I’ll just ask if any one of you feel completely Whole and I mean completely Whole as in the feelings of doubt and disconnection and loneliness are completely absent, let us know how you created that.
The financial stress is still nagging at me. I laugh – almost a crazy type of laugh. Will I ever conquer that one here? Is it something to even be proud of really? I’d just like to see that sharing ME is enough and following my heart – doing what I feel called to do – will reward me abundantly in all ways.
Not something I can do on my own. If you feel called to help, please consider donating to this small site. I work quite hard at this each day. And share it. Advertising helps as well.
Going to take this weary but always hopeful me/vessel into the water portal and see what happens.
Love,
V.
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