The ability to be around anyone who is not of my frequency – my thought forms and perceptions and most especially my desires – is gone. I can no longer say it is a challenge or becoming more challenging – it is gone. I have spent some time today visualizing certain behaviors being catapulted out of my experience. I have cut those binding cords when needed as well.
I am in this for the long haul. I am in this to see the end of evil rule – of power over and control. I am not quitting. I am not putting down my armor – I am not letting myself get lost in doubt and apathy. I know what I know and I trust how I feel. I trust the gentle persistent guiding energy that has been behind me and at my side. All of this has had me concluding – today – I can no longer be around doubt. Those days are over to be in that state.
For me.
I remind myself Love is not always quiet and gentle – la de da all is well. Yes – that is what I want my experience to be. But I know Love is also Truth and Freedom and while those experiences in their Original form are naturally inherently gifted – that Original was hijacked so while I trust in the Divine and Human plan taking place – I have my own inner plan. I contribute to the end of this reign of control by pushing back against it. NO. NO NO NO.
Energetically all continues to feel intense. Again I had moments of absolute bone chilling cold. I had a moment around 2pm pacific time where I felt sudden intense fatigue. I’ve already rested in bed twice.
I am having moments of wondering if anyone in my life is someone I know on the outside. Moments of feeling absolutely alone here.
Then I have quiet reflection where I think to just be in the center of this blender – be still as things around me spin in a chaotic mess. That, I feel, is where I go to recenter. Plugging my ears when difficult behaviors take place in this house is another tool.
Someone last night was saying, on a chat board, how they are the type of Being who will cry and laugh as they run off the stage of this experience. It reminded me of my high school graduation. Most of the girls were crying – myself included – only the other girls cried because they were so sad to see their high school experience come to an end. I on the other hand was crying because I was so happy to be getting out of what I knew was prison. I obviously did not know I was leaving one prison to enter another. ha!
Sending out loving energies,
Victoria
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