I feel horrible today. I am feeling a depression never before experienced. I feel absolutely let down and mislead. I see Trump signed off some things today including requesting monuments be erected in a national garden. Some of those names are Whitney Houston….Ruth Bader Ginsburg….Walt Disney to which I gag just thinking of these people. REALLY?
The skies are covered in trails so obviously NONE of this is over and NONE of this shows any signs of wrapping up. Optics, optics, optics people say – for 4 f’ing years. My Spirit is done here in this whatever it is. This morning I laid in bed for over an hour – crying – angry – praying – WE NEED SOMETHING HERE NOW. YOU NEED TO SHOW US SOMETHING TO KEEP OUR FAITH GOING. I had heard someone say that NOW was the time to step into our sovereignty and to prepare ourselves for many weeks of “hell” but all would be ok after this time. STFU, I said back to the video. I HAVE BEEN STEPPING INTO THAT ROLE – especially this past year – and have been attacked & threatened quite enough FOR it so at this point I AM SPENT. Taking breaks aren’t working. Meditation. NOTHING is alleviating this angst I feel within. No one is a g.d. island. And yes I AM waiting on OUT THERE to change so I CAN live the way I want. And need. Anyone who claims that only I create m own experience here can stick it. It’s a deceptive lie pushed in the new cage religion. If it is the truth then tell me if you are able to go anywhere you want and live however and wherever you want without others imposing their agenda’s on you to impede that process that should be FREE FOR US ALL. You still paying to live? Then you are not creating your own experience. You are still trapped too just like the rest of us.
My dream – I hopped a train to get outta here. I sat in the back with my bag – had no idea where I was going – just heading Home and I felt I would know the place when I got there.
John Kennedy Jr. then hops on board and walks back to where I am. He said he would be with me around noon. I was indifferent. I saw him sitting by other people – talking. I thought “Yeah you know what’s going on. YOU have looking glass so I don’t want to hear this ‘have faith’ cr@p.” He had his back to me looking at a computer screen (with others huddled around him) and he said back (telepathically) “now Victoria (and rattled off my full name)…”. I then turned my back on him and looked through my bag for something to eat and some lip gloss.
I had noticed that as people got off the train, everyone around me moved to the front – but I remained in the back (always have been that kind of person). He then walks back to where I am and takes the seat in back of me and places his arms on the back of my headrest. “So,” he says, “Whatcha doing?” And I smiled and said “cleaning out my purse and organizing it.” He asked where I was headed and I said “I’ll know when I get there.” He asked why I was on the train and I said I had to have a new experience. I had to “get outta there” (the old one). He nodded. I don’t recall if he said anything else – other than I felt he was trying to offer comfort to someone who was not consolable at the time.
As the dream was ending I heard “She took the midnight train to anywhere” and then realized someone was playing Don’t Stop Believing.
It provided me no comfort today. I am where I am for now. What happens tomorrow much less later today – I HAVE NO CLUE. I am as lost as I have ever been.
Love,
Victoria
All of the great spiritual masters have taught for eons that we live in an illusory world. We are living in a dream. As long as we negate our spiritual reality as individuals we forfeit our power as co-creators.
Swami Shankarananda told the church on more than a few occasions: “You are all powerful creators.”
Hopium and ignorance and denial won’t help us either. It is now a time to embrace the knowledge that we are All ‘participants’ in this Reality circus. We are complicit in the maintenance of the contextual narratives. Why don’t we write a better ending?…or create a new chapter, or conjure actual justice–and live with respect to a deeper Truth.
The philosophers(and especially quantum philosophers) have observed that the “observer” affects the outcome of scientific experiments. A renowned Japanese scientist proved that our emotions/thoughts affect water. Our thoughts are, therefore, vibrations. We make manifest what we focus on–what we believe to be true.
Edgar Cayce said, “Mind is the builder.” It is time to grow as human Beings. Time to take account of our material fixations and contradictions. Time to rigorously assess our hypocrisies. Time to accept the fact that we are accountable for the nation we co-exist in with others; and despite our disagreements regarding cognition, to make the effort to act response-ably.
In the lyrics of Tom Petty: “It’s Wake Up Time.”
i am awake. i did not create the matrix. i did not create the deception. i did not create the trafficking and evil and deception – the invaders did. this is THEIR creation. not mine.
You are not alone in how you are feeling. I’ve had the worst, most lingering melancholy descend on me since November last. My husband is just the opposite….he knows what’s going on buy is not phased by it. He says what will be, will be. That’s not comforting to me. It’s not the least bit helpful. I am a listener and I’ve been listening to those who say they are in the know as to what will transpire in the next few days…I’m beginning to lose all hope. I don’t know if they are willing deceivers or deceived themselves. Would to God that all Simon Parkes said in his update today is true. Your dream is very interesting. And very telling—I think you know what it means.
ditto – what will be will be is not comforting. as i have been saying for many moons – who wants to pool resources and find someplace and build our own community away from the madness? I AM READY.
I am there, right beside you Victoria.
This roller coaster has sapped, and slapped us all…
I was holding out for the internet to go down, the sign we were getting going with all that has been spoken of…
I did note the Comcast page showed the outages up from 67 – 68%… and there is an AWAFUL lot of military aircraft movement going on… the flightline maintenance must be running like headless chickens…. I still wonder why they needed so many NG – from all over the country… Remember, my hay delivery guy is in DC now, with live ammo, after a weekend of live ammo practice.
Perhaps it is time for those who have just recently woken to the outrage, to take over. Maybe I’ll find reserves of will and orneryness to get back into it, but it feels like I was hornswoggled…
How ARE we supposed to trust our instincts, our ‘guts’ when it seems that our guts were so mislead?
I have not voiced this anywhere else… I felt you would get it.
Truly, are we expected to take the government by force, storm the steps and relieve Pelosi of her gavel?
Even that option has been smeared, dirtied by the left.
We voted, in record numbers, but still got the shaft by the left.
So what now?
Are we supposed to start a grass roots Patriot party to replace the swamp? HOW?? When they control the voting process…
So, back to the civil war option… against an enemy that, from noon tomorrow, will control the military, and all the intel.
The world will commiserate, for a couple of days, then, be distracted, and/or bored – and, it will be as if the last 4 years never happened.
Makes me want to puke.
Deep breath in… release… repeat, I’m thinking a lot about my breathing today.😔
addendum: I was just about to hit send in this, and the copper cookie cutters I have hanging on the kitchen windows rattled very definitely – the cat even reacted. Then there was a deeper distant thud-rumble… I will check for earthquakes – time is 3:35pm or there abouts…
wow! first let me know if there was an earthquake! or odd activity. that feels “cosmic communication” to me – perhaps something to give you a jolt of revival? i was jolted out of my own mindset by seeing that little baby today – put me back in my heart. i’m still tired of this – but i know it isn’t over. i wondered the same things today – if the military doesn’t do this – then what? but something is up w/our military and 17 has spoken numerous times of military ops – military being the only way. from what i understand, they are now in charge. i couldn’t find anything about the insurrection act and if there is a change of administrations – does the act still remain? deputizing the guard is done to give them constitutional powers to make arrests so….what do they expect tomorrow at a virtual inauguration – or “ignoration” as i saw someone say.
and p.s. YES i’ve been doing a lot of deeeeep slow breathing lately as well my friend. 🙂
I do feel better today.
Thank you for remaining strong, and staying on track, Victoria, I think our see-saw is in synch right now…
I skyped with hubs last night, and even though this is not national politics – I think it is connected…
My husband teaches JROTC after 24 years as an Air Force Maintainer, enlisted and officer, but, he teaches at a school 180 miles from me, so stays there during the week, returning at the weekends.
The school has labored under Superintendants that are less than ideal. This is a Title 10 district, so quite poor, and, it is in the middle if the desert.
A little background:
The previous Superintendent convinced the school board to construct a bond funded new multi purpose building – then as it was complete, the board discovered his ‘dirty dealing’ (kickbacks, jibs to hus construction buddy old boy network), and he was fired.
The current Superintendent came from the East Coast – and as you can imagine – is very much a Democrat, coming into a very much Republican area.
His first act was to berate the teachers and threaten them (where he comes from teachers are a dime a dozen… in the new diggs – not so much). It was like he felt as if he was imprisoned and had to take down the big guy on the block to assert dominance. This was 2 years ago.
He was supported by the former board President, so felt that he could pretty much carry on as he had in his previous positions, which were as various types of inspector and the like, never Superintendant… (remember, this us a Title 10 district – in the middle if nowhere).
In the mean time, the board has had a new President – swaying the political weight from Democrat to Republican (I tell you, it’s like a microcosm of the nation!)
There have been questions regarding financials, money being moved about, being used illegally…
You may know, that in government, even local government, the streams of money are NEVER to be crossed, and it seems that is what has been going on…
The damned virus hoax has made things worse, as the new building relies on rental income from entities outside the school system using it, and, the sale of advertising and naming rights… it’s a real cluster, and many have said pickling the building would be the best option (it is tied to a $14k electric bill EVERY MONTH – as the power company are the mafia). It in effect it has turned the school into land lords.
So, it is suspected that the Superintendant has been merging all the streams of income to keep the White Elephant (WE) going… to the detriment of the rest of the school.
This individual is also responsible for the teachers starting an Association (not a Union – noone could stomach that), to provide combined pressure at board meetings… my husband was voted in as President, and so far, has won each item brought to the board.
To repeat this Association is a DIRECT result if the Superintendants attitude and fiscal stance, this is not a Bolshi grouo of people.
Last meeting an empty board seat was filled by a company CFO… an expert at finances… it’s gonna be hard for the Super to tap dance his way around this guy, particularly now that he no longer has the board Pres. flying top cover.
Ok, so now you have the background.
There is a special meeting of the board this coming Thursday night (I watch via youtube) to discuss the Superintendants contract…most of the meeting will be in Executive Session – if the past is anything to go by – but I am going to tune in JUST IN CASE the need for transparency proves otherwise…
Of course, the internet could be down too, in which case, I may see my husband early 😊 There’s always an upside.
So, I think the school board is about to clear out its own bit of the programmed swamp. The meeting timing just seems too connected, and, I can say, my husband, while retired is still connected to the military, and is being instrumental is both protecting the students, teachers, and the organization, while providing ammo for the board.
We will see.
I thought you would enjoy the microcosmic connection- Patriots are working at EVERY level.
The roller coaster ride is not over…
I long to see the swamp in chains frog marched out into oblivion…
Maybe I’ll get that wish, maybe not, but I feel much calmer today.
These are historic times.
Haha a PS too – no earth quake was reported, but in the local fb page many were reporting feeling the rumbling.
I looked at the USGS earthquake page again today, still nothing, hiwever, it seems the Virgin Islands were feeling quite a few movements… funny, I never thought if that area being seismic…
You may recall I mentioned a while back that 5 years ago, I talked with a woman in Walmart, who happened to mention that there are quite a few C!A retired to this area. (She was in a Christian group with a few if the spouses).
As you may know, once a spook, always a spook… for some reason that snippet popped into my head. 😁
Feels on your dream. 👏 I had a similar dream last night, but it was Trump I was telling I had to leave, after he’d invited me to a banquet that didn’t go well for me (I ran into a former co-worker there and found the chefs she’d hired for the event never showed, so I helped her cook and feed the lot, but the guests were rude – I threw a platter at one who insulted the food before leaving). He tried to stop me on the way out, but I told him, I’m exhausted and worked hard, only to be insulted by a room full of entitled snobs who wouldn’t even speak to me – and I’m done. No more. It was the third “I’ve had it and I’m out of here” type dream in as many days. Been doing massive spiritual work in dreams and getting hit with physical illness/injury out here, so I guess my “higher” self has had it, too, because every dream I have appears to have that version of me doing a rage quit. About time, conscious me was ready to be out ages ago. 🙇🏻♀️
Also, you nailed it. Law of attraction/”you created this” = new cage disinfo. 💯 correct. That’s how it *should* work, ideally – when it isn’t being sabotaged by the EF, that is – but the idea that *we* created or chose any part of the current nightmare is insulting and sickening, no matter the (false) positive spin they label on it. Heck to the no. Not our circus, not our psychotic cyborg cloned monkeys. 🙊🐵🦾🙅🏻♀️
Depression + injury + illness going on here, so I’m beyond ready to GO. But if our higher selves are calling it and walking, then it’s got to be close to go-time. Here’s hoping.
i bounced back. but still ready for their horror movie to end and they w/it. sending you love and hugs! oh and WOW on having a similar dream. i remembered more of the dream talking with a friend tonight – and trump was one of the people in charge of operating the train i was on. i remember having a brief glance of him – a sideview – then i saw his hands and that was it. “Heck to the no. Not our circus, not our psychotic cyborg cloned monkeys” – giggle…..i love how you put things sometimes aria. i know you are tired – but you really have a kick @ss Spirit! and yes on physical injuries – my mate fell yesterday – took a header. he’s ok – just scratched and a sore hip – but still….holding on by a little amount some moments….
Oh gosh! Glad he’s ok, and that you’re doing better! I’m forcing myself to get back to work today, trying to hold on by my teeth, but OMG it’s a struggle. I’m coming off 4 days of not being able to shower or brush my teeth, and this morning got up shaking, but have to work! 😭 I need it to be done. I was never cut out for this world and I am spent. Hugs back and here’s wishing we get off this crazy timeline ASAP and somewhere better.