A no holding back stream of consciousness share….

 

Not for the weak-minded.

Only for those who are willing to ask the tough questions.

So….today the thought is #2021 or Bust.

The question – what kind of benevolent plan allows for the killing of our children (whose parents made a mistake – an ignorant choice – with injecting their precious babies with the poke)?

I want to know – what kind of benevolent plan?

And I say to anyone who says it could have been worse:

PROVE IT.

Seriously at this point – put up or shut up.

I see others asking the same question – making the same statements.  Thankful for that.

Even if there is some real plan taking place to clean up the “swamp/evil” – on the  other side freedom and celebration:  Which of these parents who have lost their children to the poke are going to want to celebrate?

Put yourself in their position.  Can you even IMAGINE the horror and shock they will experience learning the truth of that issue alone?

I was trying to have a conversation recently about this – someone defending the plan – pointing out what about the children?  What about my child who has lost 2 years of her childhood?  It was put back at me – what about the people who have died rescuing the children?

TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONCEPT.  My child never asked for this.  None of it – certainly not the last 2 years.  The adults rescuing the children made the choice.  And not that I don’t respect them for that work – I do.  Just done with such conversations – esp. involving my child.  I want to know and surround myself with people who care about my girl.

I had a dream last night – someone around here I know – not a fan of them.  Never been friendly to anyone in this house regardless of our attempts otherwise.  In the dream there was a celebration – light all around – and they were kind.  I pointed this out and was told by them “I’m one of you.  Just don’t tell my spouse.”  I started to fall for it – stopped myself – and said “this is an illusion.  I don’t trust you in the ‘real world’ – not gonna trust you here now – and I’m going by what I see in that experience.  Not here.”  Got out – and had a renewed sense of what I needed to do – go by what I see NOW.

I never saw this madness going on this long.

I especially never saw the poke issue pushed this far.

Not once.

So at this point in this battle – and it is battle just don’t know who exactly is fighting against one another – I am now a full on realist.  I will not give my energy to things unseen/unknown.  No more la la crap.  No more focusing on numbers and other nonsense that produces NOTHING (and let’s be honest now shall we?  all of these meditations on dates and number focuses HAS NOT BROUGHT US WHAT WE SEEK, has it?)  I am now fully focused on WHAT I SEE with these two human eyes and human mind NOW.  (while remaining true to my own inner desire of what I wish to have/see/experience)

The only thing I can see that would make this all “ok” is some giant beautiful event that ends this horror – whereby we see this is all a giant illusion – a giant stage – and none of the children died of the poke – and are reunited with their parents.

That’s all I have atm.  Perhaps…..until.

Love,

V.

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