My emotions have been all over the place for awhile now. I read lately that empaths may be having an especially difficult time now as we pick up on the energies of the collective.
Yeah, I thought, that is part of it. But I knew something else was missing.
Earlier today I thought back to my childhood. I loved to watch the NBA Finals as a child ~ that and the World Series.
I remembering feeling intense emotions. For the winning team, I would feel chills. My eyes would swell up in tears. Emotions of pride and accomplishment were powerful within my little body.
Then I would think of the losing team and I would vacillate to the other end of the emotional spectrum. I felt such deep sadness. Grief. The sense of loss and disappointment was huge. More tears would overcome me. Each emotion was so damn real to me ~ it left me confused.
I can remember watching certain news stories over the years of people who had committed crimes. Even those engaging in the most horrible of acts, once they were captured, I would feel the flood of relief for the families. And then, I would naturally slip into feeling such sadness for the perpetrator. The sense of regret and loss. “What a waste of a life,” I would think, trying to understand the heavy emotions I was feeling.
I’m still this way today. As child I didn’t speak of it. I thought I was “weird” for experiencing such strong and opposing emotions. Today I know different. Today I have a “label” and an explanation.
I reflect on the term “opposing emotions”.
Are they really opposing? Or are they just energetic experiences that result when I sense emotions from others ~ all on one spectrum?
I could speak of this some more I am sure but for now I am EXHAUSTED from processing all of this emotional junk ~ that I know is part mine/in here – and part out there. So time for some much needed rest and TLC.
Peace ya’ll. I feel we are at peak point. Relief, soon.
Victoria
