today was – strange. i was very punchy – child was up much of the previous night not feeling well. the couple of times i was able to return to sleep i was awakened from blissful deep sleep by her needing me. it’s one thing when i just cannot sleep – it’s another than i DO want to sleep and am ABLE to sleep – but am not allowed to. that makes me stumble through the day…..the energy – the feeeeel – overall was like i am on the edge of a cliff waiting – a not “new” feel of course – but still had that feeling coupled with the need to bust through it.
if i could find the door.
spent time looking for online/work-from-home work only to learn – (and remember) – most of these places pay through paypal or venmo. paypal as ya’ll know terminated our “relationship” without warning and venmo is owned by paypal.
so i am back to this…..
i feel so dayem lost in this world now….blocked…..i know there is HUGE change taking place – so many quitting or being forced out….i feel that collective “F’ING DONE”…but i am still a willing being here in this realm looking for a positive opportunity to bring in some decent income. i am pretty done promoting this site – seeking help/marketing/seo, etc. i put out those feelers/requests off and on for 3 years. nothing came of it so i have let it go.
kind of like my living situation. put out the feelers – looked online throughout this past year for other areas – states (although i have not let that one go – i am determined to be in our new home by the end of this year)….it isn’t that i haven’t found wonderful places – it’s that at this moment in time we cannot afford them.
DEEP DEEP sigh of immense frustration.
in my heart i know – i am ready to fly….into NEW and better.
who isn’t?
for now – listening to bob ross and remembering simpler times. and maybe one of these solar thingies will finally do their thang and blast us outta here.
love,
victoria
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Encouragement:
https://emmanueldagher.com/energy-forecast/