My daughter went out to do a bit of shopping with her dad today. It’s an area we go to now and then, although with eyes wide open as it’s pretty ghetto/big city with its urban decay. Last time we were in the area was a few weeks ago.
When they arrived home, she quickly and quietly walked over to me, threw her arms around me. I asked if she was ok to which she said, “just hold me, mama”.
Her dad explained how much worse it is in that part of town now. In just the last couple of weeks. How is this even possible, I think. He said he saw more homeless. More people with signs asking for money. More RV’s parked alongside the road. More sketchy people walking around hollering at no one in particular. “We’re so blessed compared to others mom,” my girl said, still clinging on to me, adding she prayed for every one of them.
I just kind of took it all in and sat with it, even after she went inside, and her dad went on to do other things. Earlier today I was thinking how fooled I was for so many years by some of these “entities” now being put on stage, in particular the “O” one. I thought about how her selling out afforded her beautiful homes. Cars. If she really was taken care of in terms of justice, is that really enough? I can only hope if there was any sort of a soul there, a consciousness, it was able to feel the effects of her decision to sell out and the unbelievable amount of harm created from that choice. I thought about how much energy I gave her, watching her show almost every day for far too many years. The book club I was a part of. Even the letters of praise I wrote. With this awakening, while I have looked with an open mind, one thing I didn’t do was look at that part: how fooled I was. How trusting. I all but chastised myself (ok, I did). How could I have not SEEN?
Because – I didn’t.
We’ve all been under their spell – literal spells. Programming. Frequencies. And it f’ing hurts and enrages us – me – to know how fooled I was. And yet I also know that it is easy to fool trusting, good people when you’re evil disguised as good. The good-hearted, kind person simply cannot grasp that evil energy/program. Because we aren’t evil.
So, kindness and compassion for thyself is necessary in order to heal from this nightmare we have been living under.
Which continues on as given what was experienced today. The questions I have are: Can I trust this plan is actually going to help bring an end to that nightmare? Is there some frequency divine event incoming as we many of us feeeeeeel? Are those actors on stage working for us?
I also question the concept of illusion – what really is an illusion other than something that isn’t fully “real” – that there is more there than our human mind and body can know/see. As such, how do you destroy an illusion? Not give it your attention? Continue to focus on what you want to see? Or a balance perhaps of SEEING with as much emotional detachment as possible and focusing on the frequency/energy/feeeeeeeeels of what we want, for turning the other way feels like sticking your head in the sand hoping you will see your utopia there.
Until I know for sure, I will never be naive enough ever. again. to give my full trust to any outside plan.
Trust and question.
So, while my girl prays, I continue to watch it all, hoping for the best in the truest sense of the term, trusting in myself in what I have seen, intended and felt for a very long time, and remaining open to the possibility that people like O, who so easily fooled us all, may still be the ones trying to fool us again. Until I am able to take my girl anywhere I want while still in this city, the results of lies, corruption and flat out evil are still around.
💖
Victoria
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