So we seem to have not only two different timelines (really trying to be and feel into the one I WANT but being denied the right to sleep for whatever outside reason is interfering) – also seeing people having totally different realities inside these timelines. Seems to be a matter of luck. maybe? I’m quite honestly DONE hearing from/reading others who have no children – are single – and/or live alone who are meditating and have all of this private quiet time to tune in and feel and are in the flow and then turn around and tell people like me what to do – and/or don’t want to listen to what I am struggling with – and right now – it’s a lot. It’s really a lot.
Someone came at me in recent weeks about “choices”. “You made your choices.”
Choices?
CHOICES?
WHAT CHOICES?
If you are talking about controlled choices in a system of constriction and control that LIMITS your choices and ignores every word you state that clearly indicates what it is I need while the voices of the system say “you cannot have that” – then yes.
But that’s not what was presented to me.
I am so tired of all of these programs that aren’t mine – playing out in my mind and in my life – and I reject them – I say “NOT MINE” and focus on what I want – REPEATEDLY I do this – and yet they come back in anyway.
Today I feel defeated. I felt up and motivated yesterday and asserted myself in what I want – did the whole intention thing (WHICH I STILL HOLD in my heart) but then something came in last night and kicked my ass down – HARD.
Where’s my help?
Where’s my protection?
I honestly don’t know how much longer I can do this. My mind at least. If this war is real – where is my protection? Where is that protection of mine in the dimensional spaces? I need some proof it’s there and that I’m not just going this alone. My ability to hold this all together now – just ain’t happening.
T having a rally today. Big deal. Nonsense at this point. These things do nothing for me. Nothing for any of us. Who the hell is this plan really for? You know? Anyone else not feeling aaaaaaaaaaaaaaany resonating energy with it – when you’re really honest with yourself? (it’s just a distraction – one of many that are rapidly ending in their ability TO distract)
One last question: Anyone else waking up with your hands in tightly clenched fist? Every one in this house is. Last week when I woke up I literally had to use my left hand to unclench my right. Kinda scared me at first. The term that just came to me: We’re being throttled now.
But we get through it.
My god…………
MY GAWD…………
W H E N?!
Love,
V.
******
