Category: Daily Notes

I was speaking with a friend today who is struggling every bit as much as I am financially.  She cannot afford her apartment, cannot afford to move even though for health reasons she needs to as the place is moldy.  These things fire me UP.  I want to help her.  I want to help her NOW and it enrages me inside that I have the desire to and yet I am as stuck as she is for a solution.

I was sharing with her my thoughts and opinions on what I see happening. What I desire to see happen.

What I INTEND to happen.

She listened, nodding and then asked the million dollar question ~ the same one I have asked the ascension/lightworker community without a response (who say we must get away from money and not focus on it for it is dark and has created the destruction and suffering):  What do people who need the financial relief do NOW?  What do we do in this NOW moment given money is still required to house/feed oneself?

Argh ~ that frustration is so palpable for me.

Later in the day, I was told my ability to apply for winter heating assistance won’t be happening until the end of February.  I have been making regular attempts to reach these people for the past month – phone calls/messages, e-mails sent.  Today I finally connected.  Sorry, no appointments available until the end of February.

How will I pay my winter heating bills?  I asked.  And why didn’t anyone call me back or e-mail me?

Yes, I know they are overloaded with people in need.  I GET that.

And yet again – what do we do in the NOW moment?

All those preaching on letting money go – who have it/have found financial success in this system – could be doing more by sharing what they have.

Isn’t that what Love does?

Love helps.

Love shares.

Create a FUND already.  DO something.  Find people in need and give them a financial blessing.

Ah, let it go, let it go, let it go, I hear within.  All is well in this NOW moment.

Trust and know all is well.  Know.  Feel.  Trust.  And allow.

To which I also wish to say – tell that to the homeless person who has nowhere to sleep because the local shelter’s are either full or don’t let anyone in until it reaches 30 degrees.  A crime, imho.

This system needs to change and change NOW and I am fed fed fed fed UP with waiting.

Share this with all in your spiritual community.  I watch enough channels to know there are people in the Spiritual Communities who are doing quite well.

Share the love.  Spread it.

There is enough for us ALL – NOW.  This has been stated over and over again.

So ok then.  Time to walk the talk, loves!

Presented with as much respect as my distressed heart can share~

Victoria

UPDATE:  Later in the evening ~ body pains, feeling ungrounded.  I did some yoga and as I did some deep stretches, my arms began buzzing then itching like mad.  Definitely feeling energetic shifting/movement going on within my body.  …

I am losing interest in thinking and using words to speak/share and understand – and innerstand.  But that’s the tool we have now in this digital world and until I can communicate telepathically, words is what I must continue to use to share what I feeeeeeeeeeeeeel. [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

This morning while in that strange sacred woo-woo space known as the shower, I thought about all of the different opinions people have on this strange, magical, and at times, elusive experience we label “Ascension”.  I know this much about Who I Am ~ I do not resonate one single molecule with being told I HAVE to do something in order to Ascend or I must do something in order to prove myself worthy of ___ (fill in the blank).

That is not Love speak.  At least it is not MY version, my feeeeeeel of what Love is.

Some may keep eating meat.  Some may give it up.  Some may go vegan. Some may go raw.   Some may go vegetarian.

Some may feel guided to explore past lives.  Some may feel guided to focus solely in the Now or in the future.  Some may mix it up and do a little bit of everything.

Some may feeeeeeeeel they must be totally healed in order to rise up in frequency.  And yet I would add – is that an inner feeeeeeeeeel or a belief?

Truth is found in the heart, for me that is.  It is simple ~ even when it feeeeeeeeels GRAND and hugely expansive.  I have long felt that those who use a lot of words, and big words at that, have small mind’s.  Small hearts perhaps too.  Or perhaps just mind’s and heart’s that desire to expand and open more.  That’s a kinder way of putting it.

If there is ANYTHING I can add to this conversation that is lovingly useful it would be to go within for your own truth and feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel and allow. Trust and let go/surrender and know you will be shown which particular path/choice to make.  Given my own experiences, I feeeeeeeeel there are a variety of versions of Me – in this dimension and in others – who are THE guiding hand in this experience.  It’s almost as though the experience of the Shift has already happened.  In some frequency/space.  My brain has a difficult time understanding that – comprehending it.  It is again just a feeeeeeeeeeel that for me words alone just don’t cut it.

Sometimes I feel a bit like Forrest Gump when he says “I may not be a smart man but I know what Love is.”

Simple and from the heart.

That is all for now.

Light Holiday Blessings of Love to each of you~

Victoria

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Thank you ~ each of you ~ for supporting my work.  For sharing it.  And most especially for telling me how my personal messages are helping you. THAT is the biggest gift of all to me and it keeps me going with this little site.

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Not much to report but I am noticing a couple of things really increasing:  issues with my hands and forgetfulness.

The forgetfulness has been ongoing for quite some time.  However, it used to be I could recall certain things if I really focused on the memory.  I have recently noticed now I seem to draw a complete blank.  It’s kind of freaking me out a bit.  Is this haarp chemtrail?  Or is this fully due to ascension/rising energies.  Either way it feels a bit out of my control at this point.

Another issue ~ what the hey is going on with my hands?  I am dropping stuff with increasing frequency.  Small items, large items.  Doesn’t matter. It is quite literally as though physical matter turns to liquid once it reaches my hands.  That is the best way I can describe it.

Yesterday as I walked out back my mate asked me if I could throw him the broom (he was up on the roof).  I stumbled as I looked up (balance thing – clumsiness still ongoing) and said “I don’t know.  I’ll try.  Stand back.  My body isn’t working the way it used to.”  As comical as that sounds, I was deeply serious.  I wasn’t sure if the broom would go where I wanted it to.

I focused and set my intention where the broom would go ~ and had success.

Most of the time things are good with my mind and body.  But now and then when these experiences and symptoms occur – they are more intense.  I had a feeling today – or was it yesterday – as I looked at my hands – that I was just going to suddenly disappear – seemingly to disintegrate – until I popped over into the New Dimension.

Until then, this crawling experience continues. (as one of you referred to it – which at this stage – YES it does feel like crawling)

Exhaustion coupled with g/i distress followed by a plethora of tears has left me with the feel of WHEW!

I was engaging in an online discussion last night about money and all of the suffering caused by the monetary system.  It was very helpful to my heart to hear such resonating thoughts as far too often I have heard the phrase “suffering is self-caused” as though you can take the experience, place it into one little box of a definition and be done with it.

However…lol…I experienced something triggering last night when I was told the reason why I have struggled with money is because I and people like myself are not meant to have money as money is what has caused the problems most of us face.  We do not need to solve these situations with money, I was told.  And this was coming from those who were saying they want to see an end to all suffering now.

Ok then…

I sat with that message last night, went to bed and awoke with the sudden need to purge a lot of stuff.  Which I did.

I rejoined the conversation and said ok now – yes I agree we need to do away with the current model of money and how it is used to control.  I have seen that and felt this since I was in my early 20’s – and this was during the 80’s “me me me decade” so I was most definitely NOT in good company with those thoughts at the time.

So ok then…we can agree to a new system.  Yes yes yes.  However what about NOW?!  Wouldn’t giving money to the person who is homeless and cannot afford to pay for rent fix that problem and end that suffering?  Wouldn’t giving money to the person who needs medical care and/or healing help that is not covered by insurance remedy that problem and end that suffering?  I was blunt – and angry at this point.  I do not take well when someone first says we must end suffering now but no money is not the answer when in this NOW moment in this NOW time (which is where we are being guided to BE, right??) – with money still being the tool used in this NOW moment for housing and food and healing  – wouldn’t money help people in this NOW moment?

Good goddess of all that is good and decent and kind – YES IT WOULD.

Can I now reach up into the clouds of blindness and pull some of these lightworkers down to reality?

You make others invisible to you when you see the suffering, then see what can help but then push the help away because it isn’t of my spiritual caliber.

My goddess ~ I am one of THE go-to people when it comes to my distaste and total lack of resonance as to this monetary control system.  And yet I am also grounded enough, practical enough, open with my eyes and heart to know – if the money is there to help someone you frigging GIVE IT TO THEM.  Save the spiritual preaching for another time.

Love Helps Now.

Period.

That is all for now.  I have some more purging to do and a park to visit with the one person in my life who knows what Love is and Does.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Victoria

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Thank you for supporting me and my work.  It keeps me going!

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Wow!  Wowser!

And yet in spite of the enthusiasm of those words, I am sitting here like a cute little sloth.  As KP puts it “energetically flatlined”.

I hesitated sharing any of this as the last thing I want to do is mislead, share information that proves to be false or disappoint ANYONE ~ myself included!  And to be honest using words is just a huge challenge for me lately ~ both in having conversations and in explaining things.  I wish others could just look into my brain and see the pictures and/or look into my heart and see what I am feeling/experiencing there.  That is not manifested, so here in words is what I experienced today…

My day began when I woke up at 7:00am and looked outside.  Looking to the east, I saw a bright star.  I sighed as I thought “when am I going to know the truth of where exactly I am and just what exactly are YOU glowing light that we call a star?”  Some mornings I wake up and feel heavy and wonder “this system is still running.  WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?”!

This morning was one of them.

I returned to sleep for awhile and when I woke up, I heard that voice of mine that speaks to me off to the left, at and slightly above my head.  I call it my “sweet spot”.  I heard “in 6 more days you will no longer be here.”

Ok.  I know not to take these things literally, even if at times I want to ~ and do.  What I found interesting was the reference to 6 days.  That puts us within 24 hours of the 12/12 gateway.

My first inclination was to research this upcoming gateway and felt inner me say “No.  Go within and see what it means to you.”  Thank you oh higher teacher for reminding me to stop looking to others for my answers.

So I took some time later in the day, went within and heard just one word: Time.  It’s a gateway related to “time”.  Linear time?

Interesting.

But yet this word “time” also explained the experience I had as I walked to the dryer and do what I do every day after my child has a bath (well unless I am washing it after bath) ~ place her towel into the dryer.  As I did that today though, every part of my body inside truly felt/believed that I had JUST done this same “chore” moments before.  Not 24 earthly hours before. Somewhere within Me, I had literally just done this.

Well now that is interesting, I thought again.

6 days eh?

Here’s something else to add to that.  Last week neighbors of ours, who have a little girl our daughter’s age, invited us all to their house for a children’s holiday party on the 16th.  I knew the date and day and knew there was nothing on the calendar, and yet something within me hesitated. I wondered if we would even be here, I felt, which at the time I found odd.  “Of course we will be here,” I answered back in my brain.

But still that little pause within my body was there.  And it would not leave even as I slowly said “yes we should be here”.  Should.  Not ‘will’.  It’s like I couldn’t say the word.  Which again was strange to me.

I went searching for some validation as I put this all together and found some.  Well at last I found others who in the last 24 hours have had some similar experiences.  One woman was sharing how all year she has felt she would not “be here” for Christmas and currently, while a part of her wants to shop for gifts, she says something keeps telling her it is not necessary as she will not be here.  Others spoke of huge shifts experienced in the past 1-2 days.  Jumps.  Are we jumping hugely now?  Is that what this “won’t be here” references?  Is this more breaking down of the matrix ~ or more breaking away from it?

I really don’t know.  I honestly do not know.  I did read this today though on one of the ascension folks social media page:   “As a result of the rapid rise in planetary vibration, a “jump” may occur shortly, rather than a mere Shift or leap into Higher Timelines.”

I had two sudden moments of crying today where I was mourning the loss of all of “this”.  The entire experience ~ the beautiful and the horrors.  This is an experience I have had recently – the kind accompanied by tears.  It began 2 years ago almost to the day.  It was late November and as I walked around my house one last evening, I suddenly was moved to feel and say aloud: “I will miss this all when I leave”.  There were no emotions at the time.  Since then when I have had this thought I have experienced anger or frustration, impatience.  Lately though, tears of mourning have been the experience.  My mate is having the same experience.  

One last experience then I will conclude this piece.  Tonight as I was in the bathroom and I stepped out of the shower, I was able to see through the bathroom door – which was closed.  For about 2-3 seconds, there was no door.  It “melted”, for lack of a better word.  Became watery and disappeared.  It was a fuzzy image but I was able to see into the hallway through an otherwise closed door.  Want to know what I have been reading the past couple of days?  Current energies for December are revealing more of who we really are and more of what really is “out there”.  The final veils coming down.

Seeing through the illusion of this simulation is indeed a part of that.

Letting go.  Being in allowance for whatever comes out of me.  Walking in the now.

Stuff transforms and transmutes.  Things are remembered.

And magic happens.

Much woo woo love~

Victoria

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Thank you so very much for supporting my work, for finding some comfort in my words and for believing in me.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

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Ever notice how we are told by “those in control” or those in the know to “wait” for the helpful, positive, healing things?

Rape happens in a quick few moments.

Murder.

Theft.

Military personnel take out entire villages and communities in moments.

But yet when we want peace and freedom we are told to “wait”.

I do not consent to that.

Let me repeat that:

I DO NOT CONSENT TO THAT.

It is a deception.  A trick.

Matrix programs.

Rip that shit out of the energy body in this moment.

Speaking today with a dear friend who needs a new knee.  His only option offered in this realm is knee replacement surgery.  His other option is to wait until he ends up in a wheel chair.

My own mate, who has a chronic health ailment as well as one bad knee and one knee that is also needing attention.  He is facing the same situation and yet with his already fragile health, does he have the strength to undergo such a surgery?  The knee they offer only lasts 5-10 years.  Then what?

Seriously?  Then what?  Deal with it again when one is older?

It enrages me inside to know we have technology that others politely say is being repressed or withheld when in truth it is being stolen from us – technology that can heal my friend and my mate and countless others easily and quickly.

I can no longer be quiet about this.

I will no longer consent.

For every second this tech is being stolen from us, people die.

For every second this tech is being stolen from us, people suffer unnecessarily.

I don’t give a shit what reason someone may present as to why this has not been released to the people.

There is no justifiable reason.  Love cannot provide such a reason.

If any one thinks there is a justifiable reason, then they may present themselves in front of my mate and tell him the reason.  See if they can look him in the eyes and say he must wait and give their reason why.

See if they can look a dying child in the eyes and tell him or her they must wait and here is the reason why.

See if they can look into the eyes of my neighbor down the street whose mother is slowly fading away (who I regularly send out the energy of “hold on” – if that is her desire).

Freedom NOW.

All else, I do not consent to.

And I hope you all do the same.  Power of the Collective Consciousness.