Category: Daily Notes

 

Strange sleep cycles.  Nausea that only leaves when I eat.  Very little appetite – only eating because I still believe I need to.  Intense desire for solitude.  Intense desire for quiet.  Itching on right side of body ~ palm, side, area on leg.  Appeared suddenly after my shamanic experience on Saturday.  So much releasing took place that night, I am questioning whether I will do that particular exercise again as I feel I over-did it.  Not sure all I needed to release was released.  At this point just asking for a galactic wand to totally rebalance my energy field ~ within and without ~ total restoration.  It is absolutely not necessary to relive every fucking trauma/painful experience in order to heal from it.  Matrix programming.

Noticing old remedies I once employed no longer work or are not as effective.  I can deal with that as long as I have something NEW to use. Seriously tired of the same issues not responding to my attempts to heal/resolve.  Same for food.  What exactly CAN I eat?

My body and heart and mind knows it needs something NEW.  Needing a little cosmic help with this.  Today it was mentioned I need to remain calm, in control.  And yet I also think ~ that has been my focus for most of my life. Chill.  Get a grip.  Maybe I need to let myself go a little fucking crazy (in a way that benefits me – you know – the good kind of “crazy” lol)…

I had a thought come to me as I have seen and heard of others becoming more shut down, retreating further into their shells meaning not wanting to expand, embrace the new, see the reality around them for what it is and has been (and of course NONE of us are fully aware of the deception ~ for me all I desire to know is where I am and FULLY Who I Am and to have that I AM fully restored again).  It’s a sign to me that the matrix programming crap has indeed been dissolved and people are in panic mode.  What programming do they rely on now?

That is all for now.  Going to unplug from this matrix ~ what remains that is ~ for the night…

 

 

I woke up at 5am this morning feeling absolutely calm and peaceful. I began thinking about the matrix grid – turning it off. For good.  Feeling it.  After I got out of bed I checked my social media page, a group I belong to and I read this share: Mission to free humanity from the control Matrix. New 5D Matrix is 100% fully activated now! Suffering will now end on Gaia.

I read on and saw others sensing the same thing, all occurring within the past 2 days.

To add something more interesting, last night (where I was wide awake until 2am ~ sleep is really interesting right now) prior to falling asleep, I was suddenly struck with this energy of poignancy.  I could see and sense the huge changes about ready to take place.  A giant switch.  The total and full and complete ending of how things have been.  And I was struck with a sense of compassion for every single one of us, regardless of what each has done.  It is ending so the new can be returned, restored, created.

I was surprised there was sadness there, but then again whenever I am about ready to experience change, even if it AMAZING and something I long for, there is a sense of loss for the old, for how things have been.  There has been some comfort in familiarity (which I feel is part of the old programming).  So I acknowledged it and let it be.

As I went about my day, there was a lot of tension in the air.  My child was struggling.  My mate as well.  I felt much of this was the collective.  I decided to take some items to the local thrift store, get out of the house, clear our some space, and help a store that works with the food bank, donating their proceeds to the bank.  I often meet some amazing angels at this place.  Today was no exception.  And I also saw myself in perhaps what may be my next role.  Mission.

After my girl and I dropped off the items, we browsed around the store and headed outside.  There’s this huge shelf that provides bread to anyone in the community.  It’s a great service and people are welcome to come anytime they want for bread.  I found a small loaf from a local bakery and noticed a woman standing to my side.  We struck up a conversation.  She began talking about the ridiculously high cost of living, housing in particular, and how people across the states are just fed up.  She was only “passing through” and had a wealth of experience to share.  I was only too eager to listen.  The overall sentiment is wherever she has traveled/lived, even among those who have good jobs, there is this sense everyone is about ready to burst.  Every one of us have had it.  Every one of us want and need change.

She was leaning more towards people losing it, chaos and destruction.

I offered my perception.

Well next thing I know I’m off and talking, sharing, offering hope.  Another woman joined in, listened.  My new friend said “I hadn’t thought of it like that”.  I told her and she agreed to avoid anything put out by mainstream media outlets.  I spoke of frequencies sent through the television.  The colors used.  All of it is designed to make us feel afraid, powerless, small.

“We ~ all of us ~ you, you and me ~ are ALL Source in Body.  WE are the Creators.”

I spoke of the outlets I follow.  I ended things by handing out my business card to my site, encouraging to please check it out and follow the links to other sites.  “Change is happening,” I said.  I shared how strongly I felt there are good people “on the inside” who are working to end this archaic enslavement system.  I also briefly touched on what I call my “beyond the beyond” content on the matrix and great awakening of the Heart.  (I don’t want to totally overwhelm people.)

The one woman stayed and listened.  The other simply said she didn’t ever watch the news and I could sense she wanted to hear nothing new or different that would change her perception.

Doing this, standing in front of these fellow humans, speaking, sharing felt right.  And very natural.

As I said good-bye to my new friend, I told my girl “You never know what angels you will meet when you leave the house.  And you never know when you might have the chance to share some hope to those who are struggling for it.”

Driving home I said out loud, to no one really, “Maybe my next step is to give people some hope during this time.”

Let the flow of the Universe guide me.  Let it guide us all.

Much love peeps~

Victoria

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last night prior to falling asleep i suddenly was feeling a sense of poignancy – knowing this experience is wrapping up – about ready to change – and felt compassion for ALL involved – knowing new was upon us.

 

I decided to measure myself tonight after recent experiences.  I stopped growing at age 14 and have since always measured at 5′ 4 3/4″.  Tonight’s measurement shows I am now a little over 1/8″ taller.  Not much, but given my age, I am not supposed to be growing, right?  Well, in this realm that is.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

 

I am in my “happy space” after a visit with my Shaman.  More healing sessions forthcoming.  Training as well.

Re-feeling my recent desire to follow the political/social changes going on. Last night as I did some research I heard “detach some and go within” ~ which felt to me ~ do not “forget” your focus which is a within experience.

Energy is much more fluid and supportive today after yesterday’s ACK.  I returned to the same store tonight on my way home ~ energies were completely different.  Easy to be there tonight.

With all of the happenings I feel, at least for myself, it is deeply important to remember the focus – beyond the beyond.  All of the drama and chaos has a purpose ~ but it is indeed just part of the Whole.

Laying low this evening.  Integrating the energies of today.  Had some cool moments of connection/synchronicity, one made me giggle.  I shared my experience with Galactics with my Shaman.  Stopping on the way home at my favorite store, something said “check out the ice cream” ~ which I did ~ and the one I honed in on – Mint Galactica (coconut ice cream).  Yes indeed.

Coconut ice cream has gone Universal.

For now, one sits in my freezer.   [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

Much love…

Victoria

 

Yesterday was an “OW OUCH” day.  Today?

ARGH!!!!

Did anybody else notice “out there” felt discombobulated, extremely agitated?

From my daughter to my mate to my girl’s friend who came to play today to the people I encountered at the store ~ I just wanted away from it all today.

The store I normally frequent ~ which is usually a pretty calm experience ~ was unreal.  It felt like every person I walked by was oozing anger and showing signs of fatigue and/or deeply unaware of their surroundings.

There was the woman talking loudly on her cell phone who ran into my cart, clueless until I pointed out “hello human being here” and she said “oh sorry” loudly, while giving me a dirty look.  “There is no reason for you to speak so loudly to me,” I said as she walked away.

Ok then…

Then there were the people standing in the middle of the aisle, while I waited for them to either move or notice me.  When neither happened I said “excuse me”.  Nothing.  “Excuse me,” I said again.  Nothing.  “I said EXCUSE me”, pushing on through, bumping into them.  And believe it or not, nothing.  They did not move.

Next aisle had the guy who was speaking rudely to the woman he was with, talking down to her because she failed to hear the king’s request that she stay put, which prompted me to clear my throat and give him a look.  If there is one thing that triggers me instantly and perks me awake is that masculine “I am the ruler of this space” b.s.  I wanted to say “I’m sorry I thought that behavior you are exhibiting had left this realm” but continued on my way instead.

However…I later ran into him and he was talking politics with an elderly woman.  “We have to get rid of this idiot in the White House.  He’s ruining this country.”  I snorted when I heard that.  He glanced my way and I said “you don’t know as much as you believe you do.”

My patience with the unawakened masses of bots in this realm just wasn’t happening.  I probably should have stayed home.

But if I had, I would not have had the opportunity to share a moment of tenderness with a mom of two little girls who were obviously trying her patience.  I know that experience.  Hearing her talk I knew if she were at home the volume of her words would have been higher.  As I watched her my heart began to open. We aren’t supposed to live this way.  Detached.  Robotic activities, raising our children alone.  Throwing them into institutions to occupy them and raise them and fill their heads with nonsense.

The insanities of this realm have always weighed on me.  Always.

So as she walked by I placed my hand on her shoulder and said “you are my hero in this moment”.  She gave me a look.  I told her I was a mom, I know the feeling of exhaustion, frustration, just wanting a break.  She relaxed and smiled and we chatted for a brief moment.  Before she left I said “I just wanted you to know that I see you.  That someone saw you today.”  Oh wow – I don’t know where those words came from but as I heard myself speak them I even surprised myself with how totally perfect those words were for that moment.  She smiled and gave me a beautiful thank you and I thanked her back.

I was thankful for that moment of connection.  It made me want to go find that guy from earlier and tell him something similar.  Acknowledge his experience ~ which is extreme frustration over the current administration here in the states.  But then I thought nah, I have had enough conversations with such people who, for whatever reason(s), have so much animosity, the moment you share anything positive about what’s going on they tend to put on the “jerk” hat.  And given what I had already experienced before going to the store, I was in no mood to be at the brunt of another person’s emotional drama.

I left the store in an interesting space.  I was still feeling the connection from the woman as well as the unpleasant experiences.  As I got into the car, I shut the door and yelled.  I just yelled and yelled and yelled.  And then I had no more need to do so, so I started the car and took the long way home.  I thought again of the reality I want.  Now.  How long I have known this.  How long I have felt it all.  And how my patience to see it manifest is up.  Getting others on board ~ in this area ~ just ain’t happening.  It is time to hook up with my tribe and my Higher Selves have some work to do to bring this forth to my experience.  Or as I later told my spouse:  If my galactic family wherever it is I have lived were to show up today and everything in me said “YES it is you” and they then asked “want to come” I would leave in a heartbeat.  I felt the brunt of all of the years of work I have spent writing and sharing and longing for the new (this is by far not my first blog, btw).  The conversations.  The questions I have asked.  The ideas I have shared of “let’s do this!”

And here I still am.   As I drove I wondered why….at this point.  WHY AM I STILL HERE?  (I’m not talking about being a mama to my girl.  Obviously I know that is part of my package.  I just want to know WHY AM I STILL IN THIS REALITY when I find it so fully lacking in resonance with what I am and desire.)

I simply will not wait any longer to at least BEGIN to create the New as I desire.

Coming home to a quiet house was a nice way to ease back into my domestic life.  That is until my girl and her friend returned.  Her friend was obviously feeling some of her own angst and started exhibiting it.  No, I thought.  Not in my house.  Not today.  I am not up for this.

So I was grateful when she said she wanted to go home.

I don’t know why this has to be so painful.  So difficult.  Such a struggle.  We fell (or as a friend so correctly said “we were pushed”) quite quickly.  We can rise again just the same.

Until then, I am going to get some rest.  Or perhaps I will go get in the car and drive away as the two other people who live here are once again showing signs of their own distress.  And my body cannot take the noise. The energy.

I had enough today “out there”.

On we go…

Victoria

 

 

I decided to share the dream on the whim that someone may find it interesting.  I certainly do given I never “ask” for these experiences, and given I have had dreams of each president going back to Clinton, with what I have “seen” proving to be accurate, I take note when I have these experience.  The dreams of Trump (who as I have said, I did not vote for, however I do overall support what he is doing) have been unbelievable. Numbers alone, I believe the tally now stands at 8 since January.

Last night I was in the new earth realm.  Of note, my mate also had a dream of the same last night (new earth realm).  The weather, nature, etc. ~ near identical dream experience.  In mine though, I went to some special room in my house and there sits Trump on the floor.  He was smiling at me.  The impression I received was he is comfortable with anyone, in any given situation.  He knows when to lead and when to step back.  In my dream he was in a state of stepping back, allowing me to speak (unlike all previous dreams where he was in control).  Perhaps this is a reflection of what is going on now with the Saudi’s, the indictments, releasing of classified info ~ he’s letting others step up  to “do” after he gave orders.

After I shared the dream with my mate, he said he read yesterday where Trump is comfortable in any situation.  Ok then….

Moving on to the Clinton’s.

Both of them were in the room.  Bill was also sitting in the floor.  He said he was ready to repent.  His energy was very small.  Weak.  Hillary, who was standing off to my left, was not ready to repent.  She was very defiant, refusing to own anything.  Her energy was harsh, sharp and very heavy.  I observed the two of them briefly, then knew I had had enough and left the experience.

I thought about the last part of the dream later.  I spent a few moments imagining what it would be like to allow yourself to see all of the horrific behaviors one has created that caused so much suffering.  This goes beyond “yes I cheated on my mate” or “I stole a car once”.  I know the guilt, the regret, that deep pain I feel if I have yelled at my daughter or said something to someone I wish I hadn’t.  W O W.

To have that level amplified to the degree she will at one point face ~ W O W.

I felt some sympathy for her.  I wish her well on her next journey.  May she and all others who played the most horrifying of card games with humanity come to find acceptance.  Repent.

And forgiveness.

 

It is too easy for me at times to get caught up in all of that stuff out there going on and I experience temporary amnesia that reminds me we are all One.  Helps sooth the the anger, the sadness and move to the place of forgiveness.  Lots of deep breaths these days, huh?

 

 

Word of the day:  OUCH!  I am having one of those “get ready you are on a massive upgrade at the moment” days.  I just ride it out, put heat on myself, stretch, and move (slowly today) my body as it calls me to and as I finished up my day after going out and about, put my little massager on my back.

I am also being called to eat light.  Fruit, fruit smoothies (pineapple, strawberry, banana, coconut milk – yum!).  Rice.  Prepping for the 11/11 energies.  Or whatever else is coming in at the moment.  High amounts of Protons earlier in the week.

Before I went to bed last night, I took a look at myself in the mirror.  Flexed my muscles.  Am I getting bigger?  I certainly feel my body needs to expand (certainly in my center region) for the energy that is wanting to enter (energies of my Higher Selves).  Then this morning, as I stood at the silverware drawer, putting away the utensils, I suddenly felt like I had grown several inches.  That dang drawer was seriously lower down than it was yesterday.  I thought “slippers on?”.  Looking down, nope.  Was I on the rug?”  Looking down, nope.  (Yes I had to do that.  I am seriously not “of this world reality” today.  More on that later.)  So I look back down at the drawer to see if I was still experiencing this strange sensation ~ yep.  It seemed waaay down there.  I shook my head, blinked, looked down and said “ok enough of this” and walked away.  My insight?  As my Highest Selves merge back with me in physical form, are able to do this as my physical body continues to vibrate at a higher frequency, my perception of my surroundings will not just be contained to the eyes of my physical body but also of my light body.  She’s quite large!  But no surprise given past visions/experiences, including one I had last night which I will speak of in a moment.

Another example of “not being in this world” today ~ stopped in the store to get my kambucha and a couple other items.  As I began to pay I said to no one in particular, “what’s that cold thing under my arm?”  I look down – there was my kambucha.  I almost walked out without paying.  The clerk smiled as I said “I’m not in this realm today”.

So onto the experience I had last night of my Higher Self.

I tuned in, made the command to connect with her.  An image flashed before that third eye mind area and I saw her, reaching out to me.  Same image of her I have had off and on for years.  Is this part of me female or just projecting herself as female?  I don’t know ~ this is just what I have received from the Essence of Who I am.

“Hold on – reach out – allow – ALLOW”, I felt her call to me, her own arms reaching out.  “We are almost in full connection.”

I felt that presense within me and then I began to feel doubt kick in.

Immediately I felt and heard and knew – doubt is matrix programming.

Disconnect, I felt.  So I did.  And as I did so, I could see, again in that mind’s eye, what this doubt “grid” looks like.  Yellowish in color.  Webbing coming out of it, this “object”, which was shaped more or less like a rectangular.  I found all of this fascinating and quite reassuring as lately one of the things I have requested to know and see is the energy of the matrix ~ the energies of the programming.

Feeling myself release that energy of doubt, I was again reminded that it is our discernment that is Original ~ that is our Highest Radar ~ guides us in the direction of our truth.

Doubt often kicks in when there is something we desire – a truth we desire for – and it says ‘nope’ and is usually followed by “too big, too much, never gonna happen”.  It’s an energy of deflation.

Discernment however pulls us back before we go rushing into something and says “observe for now until you know”.

And unlike doubt, which keeps us feeling stuck and detached in the particular situation, discernment allows for us to naturally remain detached from any particular outcome.  It allows us, to, well, ALLOW.

One last tidbit then I will wrap up this one.  I read this last night and decided to give it a try today as I found myself in a moment of overwhelm while at a local shop.  The woman posting had been discussing the traits of the empath and what to do to help in this situations of overwhelm.  She said to take your palm and place it on your forehead and say “calm”.  So while I was in this situation today, my body aching, having to wait, surrounded by others including someone who is obvious a smoker (meaning I was in a situation with hard floors, uncomfortable body, waiting, noise and seriously yuck odor), I thought back to her words and gave it a try.

And it worked.  I felt the energy and guided it through my body, grounding myself right there in that situation of otherwise sensory overload.  I then was able to talk with others around me and even help a woman who was struggling with some paperwork.

Connection made where only moments before, I was detached into my own shell.

That is all for now.  Perhaps later I will share the dream I had of Trump and the Clinton’s.  It was not asked for and was quite interesting.

Be loving with yourselves ya’ll as we go through these high level upgrades, healing and changes, within and without.

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Victoria

***

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A few days ago, (whatever a “day” means), I read an entry on my facebook page where the poster said linear time was gone.  We are in the higher frequencies of the 5th dimension.  Now obviously I have no means of measuring this with science.

I can, however, use my body.  And my body is telling me time is speeding up so dramatically right now, I feel like a whirlwind, spinning faster and faster, until we hit the zero point moment and all just IS.  That is the most solid, strongest impression in my body of what is really happening.

And oh, I am SO ready!

I can no longer use the calendar to tell you about the weather.  The calendar says November.  The temperatures and weather/nature tell me January.  My body, in particular my cycles, are going faster than normal.  Yes, I am at that “age” where things change, but this is ridiculous.  And besides, I keep intending my body to stay as is – hold on – until the switch.  Just not and honestly never has felt in my reality to do the MP thing.

Then there is the internal experience of feeling this massive swirling within. Things are processing for me ridiculously fast ~ which I love.  I awoke itching on my hands and on my belly.  Itching = anger.  So I processed, felt, allowed and was able to move the anger into sadness, where it is now sitting on my heart.  Obviously need to do more work so full processing is not immediate – yet – but transforming it was easier and quicker.

And finally, there is the experience of day to day living.  I get up, next thing I know it’s time to get an idea for dinner then time to go to sleep.  I began noticing this about a year and a half ago – it seemed to ease up – and recently it has returned with a force not yet experienced.

The word of the times for now is “allow”.  And some forgiveness is also a nice way to wrap up this whole experience.

Ya’ll just Be.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

Victoria

 

 

Today has been an unusual day energetically speaking.  At one point I felt I was purging my own stuff, another point, the collective.  I could feel the energies breaking down in the masses, the perceptions being challenged, all of the old programming crumbling.  If this crumbling is not allowed into ones Being/being, the upcoming weeks are going to be extremely painful.  Can anyone say cognitive dissonance breakdown?

Yes, that is what I felt.

So I knew it was time for me to head out on a walk and move this energy through my body and get it out.  No real desire to play the empath role any longer.  Headsets on, I began the walk with a lot of physical movement.  Playing on my voice recorder was a recording of an awesome funky dance tune.  I wanted to dance. Why not, I thought.  So I broke out in dance movements.  I twirled.  Funked down.  Walked backwards down the sidewalk.  Sang out loud.

Totally and completely embarrassed my child, but as I say “at times that is my job to keep you aware I am a human being and not just a mama”.

In time we came to the path that leads to my Sacred Tree.  As we approached, I did the usual greeting.  Placed my hand on her.  I felt she wanted me to lean into her, with my back, so I did that.  Felt very nice to feel so supported that way.  Oh how I am ready to let go of all of that isolation and feeling like I am doing far too much of this experience alone. I began to think about wanting and needing my tribe.  As I had that thought, I heard her say “do one of your ceremonies for me”.

What a beautiful request, I thought.  I was very willing to comply.

So I turned around, stepped back a foot or so and intuitively put my arms out at their side.  I imagined I had my tribe standing there with me, holding hands, making a circle around the tree.  Upon doing this, my cells began to vibrate.  Memories returning of how I once did this so long ago.

And how I so long to do this again.

Tears formed and easily fell.  I hummed a tune and sent her my energy.  I thought “we did this to give back to our trees for the energies they give to us, for the shelter they provide us”.  I had a knowing appear again where I knew we are supposed to live surrounded by trees.  We are ONE with them. I have had this “knowing” for over 20 years.

This is why, in the new realm, I have continuously seen my house being surrounded by this beautiful, lush forest of tall pines.

With that I said my good-bye.  As I walked away I felt “see you on the other side.”

Ok then.

Until next time…

V.