Category: Daily Notes

 

I had some precious rare moments of solitude today where I tuned into some of the happenings in the “All”, namely on two situations.  One, the Pulse/Event and two, what is going on financially right now globally. Being money was most present in my mind, I sat in the beautiful sunshine (did I say I was alone and all was quiet??!!) and tuned inward, setting the intention to receive.  I immediately felt this “sucking” energy all around me and heard/felt “bleeding dry”.  The message came through very strong, which surprised me as I was not “expecting” anything so powerful and so quickly.

Bleeding dry can be described as taking other’s money using deceptive practices.

Well well now…. interestingly enough I just read through Ben Fulford’s update.  Here is a portion of what he said is currently going on (financially):

“An interesting sign of the Khazarians’ desperation was the spectacle of George Bush Senior posing with four other former presidents (minus Donald Trump) of the United States Corporation as part of a “beg-athon.”

http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/356605-photo-of-lady-gaga-and-five-former-presidents-goes-viral

First, we must note that with computer graphics and body doubles it is hard to know if this event really took place.  For example, multiple sources have told this writer that Bill Clinton (Rockefeller) died of AIDS early this year.

Nonetheless, assuming this event did really take place, this is what a senior CIA source in Texas had to say about it:

“The “beg-athon” in Texas is pure BS.  Notice that the money goes through the George H.W. Bush (Scherf) Foundation.  They are scamming money any way they can get it.  The Khazarian mafia cabal must be really desperate.”

My analysis given what I have been following?  These fuckers are trying to make some last minute money grabs (using deceit) as they are being locked out of the very systems they put in place.

Bleeding dry, indeed!

Just thought all of this was interesting and made me realize I DO have the ability to tune in and feel/see/know.  We all do!

I’m keepin’ on rockin’ on…

Victoria

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Gracias por tu donación. mucho amor y gratitud.  (i decided to get creative)

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The energies of today felt strange.  I felt like I was in and out of two different timelines.  All day long.

Interesting dreams.  John Denver popped in or shall I say I popped into his experience.  I recall thinking “this is how powerful I am ~ I can go wherever I want and choose whatever form I want”.

Many distractions that I allowed to pull me out of what I really wanted to do.  The piano sits unplayed.

Tomorrow is another day to answer her call.

I received a beautiful hand-made bracelet from one of you.  That was the highlight of my day!  I love personal mail and even more when it is a handmade gift.  It reminded me of the connections I have with many of you.  Sometimes I carry those energies with me when I’m feeling unsure or other fear-based emotions.  Now I have a little trinket to add to the inner experience.

My mate noticed HAARP clouds to the south of us ~ which aligns with signals coming into the west coast, showing up on the mimic array.  No worries or concerns though.

Neighbor received his flu shot.  Ugh!  Last year he received it, he was sick for Halloween.  He is older and has no memory of that.  We have tried all we can to pull him out of the left side of the box ~ to let him see Truth is found outside of the box and to see the box for the giant illusion that it is.

But he is one who says “it can’t ALL be a lie”.

Sad.  That’s what makes it an easy sell.

Oh well.  In the meantime I make him homemade applesauce.

I did receive confirmation I will be receiving training soon in the Reiki of the Divine Feminine ~ MariEl.  I have already begun practicing what I naturally do.  Last night I removed my child’s headache and reduced inflammation in my sinuses.  I feel I am taking a new road with this. Healer is indeed an experience I have wanted to share for over 15 years ~ probably more than all of my other gifts.

For now, I am off to couch manifest (in bed).

Much love, magic and quiet moments of contentment…

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Victoria

 

 

Two years ago I gave up watching tv programming, which includes commercials.  All of it.  We allow our child to watch some PBS shows. Other than that, when the television is on, we have it on the soundscape channel which plays a variety of soulful music.

Tonight we all watched the Charlie Brown Halloween special.  Given it has been so long since I have watched mainstream television, including the commercials, I can say my experience left me feeling incredulous if not a bit horrified.

I used to watch the commercial’s?  Without any reaction?

Unbelievable.  lol

I watched a commercial showing a husband climbing on top of a trampoline then on top of a yard waste container to replace a piece of drain pipe while the wife stood inside and said something to some machine that in turn operated her dryer.  AI.  So first scene was one of absolute idiocy and the second scene shows an AI doing the “right” thing. Message:  Humans are stupid.  AI is good.

Another commercial showed some new phone ~ lots of lights, noise, total stimulation.  Message:  Lots of lights, noise, total stimulation is gooooood for you.

I even viewed Charlie Brown differently.  Lucy reminds me of some of the kids in my neighborhood ~ bullies.  Charlie Brown and his “all I got was a rock” sadness.  Message:  Bullies are part of life.  The weird (bald) kids who are the most awkward have the worst luck.

Then there were the commercials for television programs still on.  The Middle?  Modern Family?  Seriously ~ these shows are still on??  Aren’t these people like 100 years old by now?  lol  Anyway ~ watching these little tidbits of upcoming shows ~ shows that once made me laugh ~ had me staring, appalled.

I once found this stuff entertaining?  Funny?

I once was able to energetically take in these messages and energies?

Seriously ~ if I were visiting this planet for the first time and had watched tonight’s programming I would be looking much like the little girl in the picture above.

Wow….

Zero resonance.  Absolutely none.  Whew for that!

Mouth dropped.  Having been a mainstream commercial/tv virgin for as long as I have, after just 30 minutes of this engagement, I feel the need to purify myself.

I am reminded of a movie I watched years ago of a family who had lived off-grid completely including no television exposure who then came into town years later to visit family whereby the kids were exposed to tv programming and video games and their looks were one of absolute horror.  It was comical, sad and so telling all at once.

As I tell my neighbor, who has on CNN or MSNBC on almost all day long, “they call it tv programs for a reason ~ it literally programs your brain.”  Usually I add “I love you…now turn off that damn thing!”

Tonight I saw how unplugging really allows for one to SEE just how real and powerful this programming is ~ and how mind-numbing/soul detaching.

I love you all ~ now turn off that damn thing!  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

 

 

As I progress, as I purge, as I remember – Remember – I become more in tune with the frequencies of Freedom.

I remember hearing David Icke’s definition of Freedom about 15 years ago. It resonated so strongly with me ~ awoke something within me.  The Goddess.  The Source.  The Lioness.  The Warrior.  His words have remained with me ever since.

“Freedom is the right to live as one pleases and chooses in so long as that choice does not interfere with another’s right to the same freedom.”

Today I may have less words and perhaps different words, but that doesn’t matter.  The explanation.  The definition.  For me it is a feeling.  An energy.  A feeling energy of experience.  I know what Freedom feels like.

And I know that is why I (and so many of us) are here.  To see a return to our State of Freedom.  Certainly it is why I am here.

Back when I first heard David’s definition, there was a lot of static in my head.  A lot of questions.  Stories.  I see it as an exploration through my doubts.

Today when I awoke, I felt the experience of Freedom.  And I knew – the static has been cleared.

A growing inner “roar” has manifested within me when I read things like “we have to know hate to know love” or “we agreed to that” (fill in the blank traumatizing experience). Karmic contracts.  Reincarnation. Lessons.

ALL of these violate inherent Freedom.

Unless of course once chooses to go that route.  You will of course continue the reincarnation cycle as was artificially created (die, return, mind erase, endless searching to “remember” so you can “get it right”).

Who wants that?

Well, maybe some of you do.  And I would never think to apply force to have that experience.  I honor the Freedom in All.

I am ending this experience for me.  And at the same time, because I so long to see all of us truly Free, I will now speak out, passionately at times, when I see (what I feel are) people still locked into old programming that was NOT Source created but instead was someone else’s definition for our way of Being.

It isn’t necessarily the experiences I have an issue with.  It is the “this is the way it is and you have to go along with it” freedom-destroying energy program.

Source requires NOTHING of us.  Just Be.  Create.  Experience.  Freely.

Allow others the same experience.

Creating and experiencing as we go.

I for one am ready to return to my Original State of Pure Freedom Being.

 

 

 

 

Today I met with a potential mentor.  It did not turn out the way I had hoped for.

(Good thing I went into this with a fairly neutral perspective.)

However, it did bring me back to a core wound that I wish to expel for good:  NOT BEING HEARD.

I had (and have) clearly stated I need someone to PROMOTE me.

I’m not a sales person.  That is what I need.

I had (and have) clearly stated I need someone who can help me monetize this site.

What came out of me later was intense purging and rage.  How do I ever find peace with the system out there?  How do I actually find it within me to be ok with this pay to live system?

I don’t see how I can achieve this for myself.

At this point I surrender.  Maybe I am giving up.  Who knows.  It is difficult to tell the difference in this moment.  As I told my mate, if I have to live in my car alone because the limited income I do have has to go to creditor’s instead of the rest of my expenses to survive, SO BE IT.

I am literally sick from being kept awake at night over this shit.

I am literally sick inside from the ongoing stress and worry.

I just fucking want someone to fucking promote me and my products.

I just fucking want someone to help me monetize this site.

And why?  I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THESE THINGS in ways that provide the financial success I seek and need.

This is not rocket science here.  (rolling my eyes throwing up arms in frustration)

Most of all I would like someone to step up and actually DO THESE THINGS instead of trying to tell me what THEY think I need.

ENOUGH!

Do people not LISTEN??!!

Do I have something about me that says “Don’t really listen to her words. Instead feel free to inject your OWN perceptions and words of how you think her life SHOULD be.”

And the big question:  Why did the Universe align me with this situation? I clearly stated what I was seeking ~ let it go ~ and this is the result?

Another dead end?

Another space where I am once again on my own with all of this money-making promotion bullshit?

I trust myself.

Is the Universe not to be trusted?

Is it all just a giant game ~ a sucker punch for the most sensitive, the most compassionate, kind people who just want to make a difference in the world AND make a living at it?

I am reading an article about a woman – much like myself.  Except her husband is healthy and makes good money to pay all of their bills.  I could chill and relax if I had that life BUT I DO NOT.  (other than that one part that is triggering me at the moment, it is an awesome piece which i will share)

My mate is disabled and our income is limited and fixed.  The two of us worked yesterday afternoon doing yard work for our neighbor (only because we need the money) and he can barely move today.  I would have done it all only my mate has the ability to prune professionally and I don’t and our neighbor is selective on how his trees/bushes look.

Let me tell you ~ I feel like I have been an underpaid slut for the system and I just am not having it.  Instead of finding peace in this I am finding a growing raging lioness who is saying NO MORE.  As a prisoner in this matrix I DEMAND TO BE RELEASED.

For this is Who I Really Am:

I am deserving and worthy of having a monthly massage.

I am deserving and worthy of having a tutor and part-time nanny for my child.

I am deserving and worthy of having a part-time chef.

I am deserving and worthy of having an energy healer.

I am deserving and worthy of having my hair professionally cut every couple of months (instead of the hack job I must do myself).

I am deserving and worthy of getting a spa treatment when I feel the need.

I am deserving and worthy of having a big house on 5 acres.  Off grid. Complete with food replicator, a hot tub, in the trees, on a quiet road in a small community of like-minded/like-Soul and heart people.

I am deserving and worthy of ALL OF THIS.

And more.

And THAT ~ that is what I put out to my Highest Selves, my multi-dimensional Selves, The Source that is Me and to ALL of the Love Frequencies of the Cosmos.

IT.  IS.  DONE.

 

 

I heard a youtube video last night about a woman who experienced an NDE.  The story behind her NDE was the result of a war-torn horrific bombing incident.  I was with her until she began to speak of the lessons she had to go through, how she said she learned she had agreed to this experience before coming here, how she had created it.  The beings she was speaking to wore dark robes.

AAAHHHHH, I screamed inside.  PLEASE STOP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!

Contracts?  Agreements?  To suffer and experience horrors and trauma’s?

Does that sound like an agenda of Source?

Or of dark beings?

Does that sound like a message of Source who wants us to BE?

Or of dark beings seeking to control and keep our vibes low.

Yeah.  That one is easy to figure out.

We are Creator’s who Create and Experience.

That’s it!

Ascension, our rightful return in frequency to Source.

We have always been Ascended Beings.

This is not complicated.

We are being flooded with photons and gamma ray’s which I feel are the frequencies of Love and Bliss.  They are the frequencies we once experienced before the conquer and matrix grid was put in place.

These are the frequencies where we are fully restored.  We create things in an instant.  We have full reverence for one another.

We live freely.

Love = Freedom.

Freedom = Love.

Again, it is that simple.

This is where we are returning.

I am asking people to reconsider beliefs around contracts and karma and reincarnation and agreements.  I canceled all that earlier this year.

And let me tell you ~ the freedom I feel inside since doing that ~ the empowerment ~ is awesome.

Again ~ Love = Freedom.

I want ALL OF US FREE.

 

 

 

 

I experienced something today that reminded me none of us are meant to experience life alone.  No living Being.

My child came through the door early this afternoon and announced there was something “strange” she wanted us to see.  I was zombified on the couch so her dad went with her.  Upon their return they both announced there was a dead deer, female, a block from here.  Neighbors had already notified animal control, who will be coming tomorrow morning to dispose of the body.

“Not the lone female I have been seeing around our neighborhood all year,” I said, putting on my shoes and heading out to ascertain.  With child in tow, we walk to where the deer lay.

As I approached, I knew it was her.  She was not more than a year and a half.  Two at the most.

I was a bit grief stricken.  I wept.  I noticed her injuries and noticed her right ear had been severed completely.  Likely hit by a car in the middle of the night.

I thought of the horrors of life, of humanity.  The cars we drive and how they can transport someone in need and thus save a life and take one just as easily.

I centered myself again and focused on what lay before me.

We gave her a blessing and I will not lie:  I asked Source if she wished to return to her body, to make it so ~ if I could help, guide me.  I knew she had already passed though and had no need or desire to return.

It was quite a teachable moment for our girl.  And to be honest, for me as well.  We have seen dead birds and mice in our yard.  But never a deer.  A deer somehow takes on a whole new meaning, you know?  A wisdom.  Is it because of the size?  Or just a knowing?

I don’t know.

I just know this deer, this young female, who we have seen around our area all year, far too young to leave this earth, had been killed, obviously traumatically.

Standing there like some silly looking human, watching over this young deer’s body, I had the thought:  If she had had a family, siblings, deer friends, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

The world is not always so friendly.

We need one another ~ not just to survive but to thrive.

Hence I am hoping these spaces I get into ~ of which I am in right now ~ where I just desire to be alone ~ are temporary.  Necessary for this marker on my journey.

For not only does the Human need connection, but the Soul needs connection too ~ whether that Soul be in human form or animal form.

For now, I did all I could.  After offering up a blessing, I returned home, took a towel (purple – my favorite color), walked back to the deer and gently placed it over her, making sure to especially cover her head.  It felt to me to be a gesture of respect and honor.  Who would want people walking by, staring in horror?  No one wants their last moments in this realm, in these bodies, to be looked at in such a manner.

Reverence.

For all life.

Where we have outgrown this “rugged individualism” illusion and embraced the simple truth:

We all need one another.

 

 

I cannot quite fathom this fatigue I am experiencing throughout the past several days.  Normally on sunny days like today, warm days, I find energy to go for one of my power walks.  Overall I have this continued desire and need to just SLEEP.  Naps daily lately ~ even on these beautiful sunny days.  If I don’t have a nap during the day I am crashed out on the couch after dinner.

My desire to “DO” is at an all time low.  To be around people.  Go out and about.

I did go out last night and visited with my Shaman Healer for the first time in person.  It was an amazing experience and I may write about it later.  For now I am feeling the need to keep it just to myself.  I can share though that my long-held desire to learn how to work with my own inner healer and the energy that comes from my hands seems to have been met. After being told by Reiki Practitioners that the Reiki Healer never receives energy, I was informed last night there is a method that uses a symbol for receiving and one for healing and is based on Mother Mary.  The Divine Feminine.  Not only that, the Shaman can teach me.

Very vaguely, early this morning, I was semi-awake and felt this amazing experience/feeling of bliss. I could “see” white warm light all around me. When I woke up fully a few hours later, I recalled the experience and felt the Schumann must be spiking.  Nope.  Nothing “significant” to report (3 days now).  Am I creating this on my own now?

The old system ways of paying bills and even now, cooking meals – those “rules” and “should’s” – again at an all time low.

After breakfast, I had some energy (some) and decided to organize an area of the house.  Cleaning up.  Clearing out energy.  Later on, sitting in the sun and just Being, I recalled the experience and knew – this behavior of mine is covering up the real need – the need to do internal housecleaning in my own Self.

I appreciated the insight.

And as I began to dig fatigue washed over me.  I just don’t want to do that at the moment.  I feel I am OK as I am ~ right now.  Whatever “stuff” needs to be examined and released can either be done at another “time” or be done while I am resting/sleeping – on its own.  Without effort on my part.

For I am desiring my life and my Doing’s to be effortless.

Much like knowing “must sleep now” – and my beautiful comfy couch is there, awaiting to provide me the support I need in that moment.  And much like now – the dinner on the stove is done – and my beautiful mate is there, to take care of it for me.  Providing me the support I need in this moment.

And so it is.

Much love.  Quiet.  Bliss.  Sleep.  Ease.

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Victoria

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Thank you for supporting my words, my work, my effort, my energies.

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