Category: Daily Notes

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How ya’ll feeling?

Thought I would share what I am experiencing the past week.

*Spine pain.

*Itching.

*Really weird dizzy spells that happen when I stand up after sitting for awhile.  A few times I have had to either sit back down or place my hands on a nearby counter to balance out again.  I was a bit concerned about this until I read others were having the same experience.

*Headaches (mild – but a very unusual thing for me to experience so I am listing it)

*Feelings of Bliss are back.

*Feeling I am in two different worlds, literally half of me in this one and another elsewhere.  Yesterday I stood at the sink and said “where the heck is my other half??”  Grounding continues to be important ~ sometimes as simple as stopping whatever I am doing and taking a few deep breaths.

*Easier to release the fear and emotions I no longer want hangin’ around.

*Easier to see others from the heart.

*Easier to catch my judgments and let ’em go.  Well, the catching part is easier.  Letting go, still remembering how to do that effectively.  (I visualize whatever thought I am holding as a coat and I imagine it falling off my back.)

*Really focused on my Sovereignty.

*Focused on Remembering my latent abilities.

*Getting clearer on what I really want.

Freedom.  Love.  What else is there?  Both of those granted to every one of us unconditionally, we will create Paradise, together.

Had some moments of clarity in the usual spot – the shower.

I have been engaging in an e-mail conversation with someone I was connected to who has a family member who is a best selling author. “Maybe this person can help with your book,” I thought.  So I went to work being a pest.  By being the squeaky wheel, I have persisted at this and today received a bit of grease.

That being said, I heard Self ask “What is it you really want?”

Is it money?  Fame?  Recognition?

No.

There was something deeper.

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One of the questions in my book (Live to Impress Yourself) is the following:  If you were President for one day, what would you create?

I now realize I should have substituted “Creator” for “President”.

If I were Creator ~ which I believe I am a Creation OF Creator ~ if I were standing in that FULL POWER ~ able RIGHT NOW to create ANYTHING instantaneously, what would I create?

The immediate removal of all those involved in:

child sex trafficking

the theft of our wealth

manufacturing wars

the programs of religion, chemtrails, vaccines, fluoride, gmo’s, environmental toxins, technologies of nuclear, gas, oil and bioweapons

politics

the system of money and debt

all beings, in this dimension and beyond, who have violated Universal Law of Sovereignty through manipulation, lies, covert and overt operations, violence and the like.

I would then introduce:

educational facilities to teach Truth to the people about their history and who they REALLY are

healing facilities and technology to provide true healing (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) and full restoration

technology enabling the people to be self-supportive and self-sustaining

Why would I do this?

This is what Love in Action looks like.  It’s what Love Does and Is.

Nothing is gained by suffering and struggling.

Nothing is gained by waiting and being told to be “patient”.

NOT ONE DAMN FUCKING THING POSITIVE.

This entire spiritual/ascension movement with its endless chants of lessons and karma and passive/aggressive judgments and forced duality (hidden in disguise) has just done rightfully pissed me off.

The collective prayers of HELP! and ENOUGH! SHOULD HAVE produced a result by now!

“Things take time.”  Really?

Imagine if, as a mama, I took that approach with my child.  Sorry sweetie, I know you are crying and asking me for help but you need to learn a few things first.  You need a little more suffering.  Give mama more time so YOU can “get it” together first.  You need to elevate yourself to MY state of Consciousness, My Energy Vibrational Frequency before I will offer you assistance.

I cannot imagine for one second pulling that crap with my child, regardless of age.  A struggling person can ALWAYS use assistance of some kind ~ especially if they are asking for it.  My god what we have here is withholding of Love – the ONE THING we are all supposed to BE About and From, right?  I mean isn’t that what Ascension is really about?  A Return to Love??

Then where the FUCK is it?

Who are ANY OF US to dismiss someone in need, especially when we think WE somehow know what is best for this other individual.  Arrogance in disguise.  The way I look at such situations is the person is so uncomfortable in being asked for help, that instead of owning this, they choose to respond in such a way that will get them out of the situation because hey, they can say “well at least I offered SOMETHING” – even if this “something” is clearly what this individual has stated they do not need. (Projection all over the place with this one as it has been a serious pet peeve of mine with others.  Can’t help me?  Don’t wish to?  Then own it and tell me.  I would rather have the truth than false hope and pacification.  Do not think for one second you can attempt to make yourself appear the saint by offering me YOUR version of MY reality. Unless you have the magical ability to jump inside my body and live my life, you don’t have the right to give me your version of my truth.)

None of us do!

There are a lot of people suffering but there are also a lot of people who are doing quite well.  Good health.  Finances in tact.  Great support system.  Great family.  The way I see it, there is enough of those who are together/healthy that can help out those who haven’t been as fortunate. Able.  Strong.  Fill in the blank.  Some people thrive in this system.  Others struggle.  And some fall through the cracks.

Yes, personal empowerment is important.  Yes, what we think about ourselves is important.  Sometimes people need more than that!  As I have often said, when someone is drowning, you don’t yell out the instructions on how to swim.  You pull them out, let them recover from the experience, THEN teach them how to swim.

What is so complicated about that?  Geesh!

I see suffering and struggle and I fucking do what I can.  It’s who I am. Given my current reality what this looks like is I brainstorm for solutions, share stories with others who can provide more help, reach out to a variety of resources.  I am quite gifted in this regard.  (And yet for reasons I still am unclear of, I seem to suck at doing this for myself.  Something I am currently pondering…)

For a very very long time now, I have intended for abundance of wealth to help out people like my friend who needs a place to live asap and it is the cost of housing (in this case, rentals) that is keeping her out of 95% of the housing market.  Or for SherryAnne, whose story I will share next.  Or for myself and my family.

I intend daily to use my Powers in their Entirety and scream out atop of the mountaintops, “ENOUGH!” and using my powers, take out the controlling factions of this reality and remove the energy veils of illusion and forgetfulness we all experience and RETURN US ALL TO OUR SOVEREIGN SELVES.

If we ALL intend this, I think we can break down this shit-hole.  For the process itself is going far too slow.  I have to laugh as I see myself as the person who walks into the room, sword in my right hand, and announces “Ok good people what the hell is taking so long?  Let’s get this done NOW.”

No more deep breathing/grounding and other pacification exercises.  The time to command Help and our Sovereignty is NOW.  Not when certain energy waves are over or currently happening or whatever.  Not when this date comes (and goes).  Not when the stories of RV and NESARA and the like and all of those dates come (and go).

NOW.

For we are all connected.  And when one suffers, we all suffer.

And we have had quite enough of that.

Individually Awakened, we are powerful.

Collectively Awakened, unstoppable.

Are any of you from Montana?  I need a change in my life as nothing is moving for me in my current location.

Thank you and blessings~

Victoria

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Having love for all.

Some seem to have great ease with this.

I am not one of these people.

Maybe it is my age.

Or maybe it is just me.

As one who has grown weary of so much, I have stumbled into this space where I don’t care to be around others, much less feel love for them.

In fact, I have a rather strong disdain towards the masses today.  My heart has shut herself off ~ lost faith in this grand awakening.

Today, I simply want to Go Home.

Go to that place I have seen in my dreams and waking visions.

My new home on this new earth.  The new construct.

Next to my little one, it is the only thing giving me peace these days.

I have a bitter taste in my mouth when I think of reaching out and helping others awaken.

Not that it was ever my responsibility or anyone else’s to awaken another. Sharing myself with others, my thoughts and the like, just ain’t happening.  I feel like either they are disappearing or else I am.

I have impressions and memories of once being a very Aware Being, very Loving.

Once.

While I am Aware, I am not so into the feeling love-to-all.

Does this mean I’m not as aware as I think?

Am I just burned out?

I don’t know.

I just know what I want.

And this way of living on this earth doesn’t cut it for me anymore.  And I cannot seem to muster up the patience, desire or strength to get past that.

Today I walked up to my mate, leaned into him and said “my god I just cannot do this anymore!”

I can’t.

And I don’t know what to do with this feeling state.

Do you ever stop and think “How long is a person supposed to just hang on?”

Earlier, while in the garage cleaning up the days toys, I felt this fatigue wash over me.  I sat down in the chair, looked up at the chemtrail ridden sky.  It was unbelievable today.  For that moment, I wished I had ignored those questioning voices within.  For that moment, I wished I was still asleep.  I actually began to tell the controllers they could have my Soul again in the Matrix for another cycle, wipe my brain of all of this information I have stuffed it with the past 25 years, in exchange for me to get my health back, the energy to be the kind of parent I want to be and for financial success.

A very tempting offer I was starting to create.

While I still desire and intend the above, I immediately stopped myself from proceeding further.

The dark night of the soul, perhaps.

Ugh.  I thought I had gone through that process before.

I just simply feel trapped against a wall, my vision too cloudy to see the next step.  My fatigue at an all-time high.  (Any of you feeling the need to sleep all day the past several days?)

All I want to do now is sleep.

Is this normal?

Something with which to concern myself?

I thought I came here to do this love-all stuff.

Spread my truth.

Share my light.  My love.

Maybe my work is done.

Or maybe I just need a break.

Or maybe perhaps I just need to remember to love myself all over again ~ in some new way.

Whatever is going on with me is running very deep, leaving me feeling quite alone (anyone else having relationships end as well), in a quiet, comfy bed where sleep becomes the best friend.

Earlier, on my social media page, I wrote a little statement about standing in ones Power and being the Creator of ones life.  Then I heard “no man is an island”, which for me means “no one makes a life on his/her own”.   Creation/Being is not a completely solitary experience.  Therein lies the paradox that comes up for me when I think about those topics, the resulting truth being we need one another.

Later on, I received an e-mail stating a request for help for a woman who is battling cancer and who is seeking some stable housing, having had a far too stressful housing situation for over 6 months with little financial ability.  (Hopefully I will be sharing the e-mail here once I receive permission as it is a private e-mail group.)

Her story tore at my heart and angered me at the same time.  I would love nothing better than to contact this woman, and either tell her I know of someone in her area who has available housing for little cost or free, or ask her how much she needs and write her a check.  No strings.  Just go alleviate that unnecessary struggle/suffering.  Then I heard the voices of rugged individualism, voices of the old paradigm, which said things like “she has to be responsible for her own life” and “writing a check would only enable her” and my least favorite “maybe she needs to learn a lesson from this.”

Telling those voices they no longer apply in my new paradigm, my new reality I am creating, I was suddenly drawn to turn to the television.  A new song I had never heard before was playing on the music channel I had on.

Higher Self said “look at song title”.

So I did.

“No Man Is An Island” was the name of the beautiful song I was listening to.

Wow.

I began to weep.

I will never cease to be moved by such moments of synchronicity.  (And here’s another ~ I stopped typing after writing out “I began to weep” and noticed wordpress said my draft had been saved at 11:11.)

This Ascension process is creating all sorts of realities for us.  I am seeing many pull back and retreat.  I see some claim the time to stand on our own is now.  Words like self responsibility are common place.

And I agree and resonate.

However, let us not forget that even during this next stage of shifting we are both creating and experiencing, that this is also a Collective Experience we are having.

Being Sovereign doesn’t mean we stand on our own at all times.  It means that WHILE we stand in our own power, this can and will include those times when we need another/others (or we assist others).  For self-responsibility only means the ability to respond to a situation ~ as best as one can.  There are times when that ability is stronger than at other times.

I leave you here with a video of the song, No Man Is An Island.  The ending lyrics hit home the most:  We don’t have to do it alone.

What does the song and the message mean to you?

Blessings, Sovereignty, Freedom and Unity~

Victoria

The time has come for me to change things up.  I simply cannot continue to put in the time I have on this site for free.  I will continue to post pieces by others here but from here on out, many of my daily notes (with the intention of all as time passes) will be going to my Patreon account (here is the link), which will be a subscription only.  I feel asking for regular readers to contribute $1-$5/month is a very reasonable request.

I need to improve my finances, as I have stated on more than one occasion.  I have a disabled spouse and a young child I care for and this website was created to share my writings (as well as products and services) and the writings of others on the topics listed as well as to earn a consistent income.  This has not happened as I intended and I have to admit I am very disappointed as a result.  Reaching that fork in the road, I have to take a new direction.

Blessings ~

Victoria

Let me begin with the lyrics from Pink Floyd’s “Money” ~