Yes Dorothy, Life IS Supposed To Be Easy!

 

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Unterwilzingen, Community, Village

I was such an annoying child.  Well in truth I was deeply curious and wanted to know WHY to everything.  In fact, when I was around 3, long car trips with me would annoy my parents so much, they would bring along those jujyfruit candies.  They were chewy and long-lasting, making it difficult for me to talk.  Today I don’t know whether to laugh or cry over that.

It’s just Who I Was.

So the questions continued until I had heard “Oh Victoria you…” (fill in the blank) enough times that many of my bubbles and observations became an inward experience.

The questions, however, didn’t slow down.

I can remember wondering why my daddy had to spend all day doing things he hated.  Why did he have to be gone so many hours of the day? And what was this “retirement” I kept hearing him talk about, hearing enough that I learned this “retirement” thing would bring him relief and happiness.

Why couldn’t he have retirement now, I wondered.

And why did we have to pay to eat?  And have a house?  And keep ourselves warm?  Why?  I didn’t get it.  (Thankfully I was never forced to go to church, thanks to a dad who despised religion and saw the hypocrisy of it or else I would have had some very strong thoughts on that deal – even as a young child).  And why did I have to sit at a desk and memorize things I ended up forgetting?  (However, I learned the desk could be used as a nice place to nap.)  And why oh why did I have to get these shots to make me healthy?  I thought someone had told me God gave me an immune system to keep me healthy.

I can remember one moment in my teen years when I finally burst out, “Screw this!  Life is supposed to be EASY!”  I was young but I KNEW it in every cell of my body that I was speaking a profound truth.

That earned me, uh, zero support.  lol  Just more looks.  (Yes, I do drink a special kind of kool-aid.)

The questions kept coming until I exited the public school system.  Oh so thankful the indoctrination didn’t silence my curiosity or my mouth.

It was in my mid-20’s when the visions began to accompany the questions.

A way of living that was, easy.  E A S Y.

Tribal living.  Technology that kept us off the grid.

We grew our own foods.

There was no money and no need for it.

We were vibrant and healthy.

We had healers.

And yehaw, some of us could fly and travel anywhere we wanted – IN OUR OWN BODIES.  Or with flying cars.

Governments?  Didn’t see any of that.

War?  Nope.  No need (see the above).

It wasn’t as though there weren’t problems or challenges.  There were. However, they were solvable ~ with little effort.  (Remove the middle man, bot drama and laws that violate our Sovereignty and solutions are easy to employ.)

At the time I was both excited and perplexed.  It felt so familiar to my body, I knew I was not only seeing the future but also the past.

However, I was also perplexed because, still only in my 20’s, looking around at the outer world, such a way of life seemed impossible.

Today, I obviously hold an altogether different perception.

This way of living is not only possible but an absolute.

For we learn NOTHING useful when we struggle.  When we suffer.  When we get sick.

NO. THING.

This is why I get annoyed as anything at some of the Spiritual Community who fall for the trap of “suffering is necessary for growth.”

Please!

Much of human suffering is unnecessary for it is caused by the very systems of darkness that create it to begin with.  Disease.  Poverty.  Divide and conquer.  Indoctrination of lies in our schools and churches.  GMO’s. Chemtrails.  Pollution in our water and foods and air.  And lastly, the strands of DNA that geneticists like to call “junk dna” which of course as we know by now were really turned off and altered by off-world beings who robbed us of our way of Being and put in things like the cancer cells and viruses and gave us their lovely reptilian brain and blah blah blah. You all know the story.

Remove ALL of this darkness and restore us to Sovereignty and Health and Tribal Living and you will eliminate almost every bit of suffering.

And hey, isn’t that a much better way to Live as Christ Conscious Beings?

So those in the Spiritual Community, you can go ahead and let yourselves suffer away, thinking you are somehow advancing and learning.

I myself prefer to have the damn Truth of Who I Am fully returned and the freedom and means to live as I outlined above with my Tribe.

Freely.

Without intrusion or hassle.

A life where pushing the “Easy” button is not just some annoying commercial but a Reality.

 

 

Some Self Reflection, Honesty and Surrendering

Woman, Desperate, Sad, Tears, Cry

I let myself get triggered today.  I let myself step out of my own Personal Power that I write so much about, how important it is to stay aligned with it, all because I felt offended and hurt.

Instead what came out was the usual – anger, defensiveness.

I know I have had a big chip on my shoulders that began in my teen years. Yes, I was hurt like we all are, especially in those oh so tender years of our youth.  I built it up over the years in a (poor) attempt to protect myself. Instead what it did was to keep people away from me, certainly at arms length too often.

It is very difficult – has been very difficult – for me to show my heart. That soft side.  Tender side.  Vulnerable.  Afraid at times.  Ok, much of the time.  So instead, when I do feel hurt, attacked, I attack back.  I show my anger first.  I get defensive.  Arrogant and haughty.

Not to say anger is a bad tool to have in the emotional toolbox.  It is useful and necessary at times.  However, tonight, in this moment, I imagine myself going straight to the heart when I feel hurt.  State simply “I feel hurt right now.  Will you help me work this out?”

My god, typing that brings me to tears.  My heart tells me “Yes ~ please do that!”  She’s tired of carrying the pain and pretending to be tough and resilient.  Pretending she is some sort of Big Warrior when what she really wants to be is tender and loving and to see the Beauty and Innocence in every single one of us.

Can’t we (including myself) just stop the games, drop the masks, stop the attacking of one another.  Just be decent and kind and thoughtful and honest.  Just let one another Be.

I feel so weary with this game I have played ~ it would be nice to surrender, to put down the sword, to stop the battle I feel I must fight for myself and for humanity.  It is a natural role for me to step into as I came blazing into this body, ready to fight, ready to liberate.  And yet along the way, I know I have not had nearly enough Warrior Protection, not enough love. Tenderness. That in turn rather subconsciously developed an alter ego of fear and distrust.  So I have played more or less a dual role in this life, either speaking out and up for Truth and Justice only then to crawl back under my rock in fear and hide.

Shit.  The complexity of who I am overwhelms, annoys and inspires me, all in one breath.

Tonight, I feel the heaviness of it all ~ and I am tired.  I just want to surrender, to completely fall and know the earth will catch me when I do.

Peeling back more layers of illusion disguised in pain, I will heal and carry on.

It’s what I do.

I began this piece listening to the Bee Gees, “How Deep Is Your Love”.  I was going to share that video.  Instead I will share the song that (ironically) began playing as I ended this piece.  “Stayin’ Alive.”

For that is what I am doing.  At times crying out for help and love and tenderness and for this damn game of human lies to be over, but all along, Stayin’ Alive…

 

 

 

 

A Little Note To My Critics

This is not for the majority of you so no need to get tangled up in the drama.

  1. This is my site and while I welcome differing points of view, I do not welcome a tone that is condescending and arrogant. Those questioning my stance on Trump – I do have a facebook follow icon on here.  If you had followed me on my f/b page you would have noticed I continuously said I never voted for him but that I was even MORE relieved to see Hillary not take the ticket.  I see him as playing both sides of the fence at times and I remain neutral at this point.  I am also hopeful that he will be doing some of those things he has mentioned, most esp. during his inaugural speech.  I have been vocally critical of some of his enviro policies he has enlisted.  And lastly, I have the right to change my mind.  Deal with it.
  2. Those claiming I am being the victim.  Listen up here folks.  I am aware enough to see through the passive-aggressive game of “blame the victim”.  The way OUT of being a victim (and we ALL HAVE BEEN victimized by those very things I have mentioned – the matrix, chemtrails and the like) is to OWN it.  Speak out about it.  Show that righteous anger. Take action in whatever way you can.  Those are the steps to empowerment.  And that is exactly what I am doing here on this site and in my personal life (of which you are not privy so don’t claim to know you know who I am outside of this little world).
  3. If what I say is making you feel that uncomfortable and upset, why are you continuing to read my work?

Now that I have got that out of my brain and out my mouth (well, fingers), let’s get back to the business of uncovering the truth and discussing ways to heal and transform this reality.

An Interesting Experience Today

 

Psyche, Psychology, Human, Man, Person

I had a psychic/intuitive reading today.  This is a friend of mine, someone I have known for a few years.  I trust and adore her.  However, as I have mentioned in previous writings, I have grown very particular about engaging in things such as psychic readings, channelings, tarot reads and the like ~ only because I believe that unless the person giving the info/read is in alignment with my perception of things such as the world of spirit, the matrix energy grid, reincarnation and karma, there will likely be things said that “bounce off” my energy field and don’t resonate.  My friend believes in karma and reincarnation being necessary for our growth/learning and the like.  She knows I have a different perception.

I have had a few readings in the past with my friend and this one was going to be a new experience, as the last read, I had different perceptions and beliefs as to the aforementioned topics.  Certainly I am much more confident and energetically grounded/solid in my perceptions than I was at the last read.  So, I was rather curious to see what would come through today.  And given this was a barter situation (mini read in exchange for my book), I decided to go along with it.

Soon into the read, she began talking about the Pleiadians and my and my mate’s connection with them.  She used the term “galactics” a couple times as well.  This is a topic my friend is not familiar with so I knew she was tuned more into my energy frequency/belief system.  My eyes growing wide, I said “hold that thought” and reached for my recorder and began recording.  I noticed her energy expanded when she was relaying this information.  However, when I asked her to expand on that information and tell me more of what she was getting on the Pleidian’s and Galactics, she was not able to, which I found interesting and attributed it to where she is in her Awakening, her perception and what vibes with her.

That insight would come in handy for what was to come in the reading.

She shared several things that resonated with me, including words that my Higher Self shared with me this morning.  So overall, things were proceeding along nicely.  That is until she began speaking of lessons and my need to control my life.  There was some Truth in that for me – I know I need to let go and go with the flow much more than I do.  However, I also felt this energetic sense of smallness – as though my being the Master Creator of my Destiny was not truly acceptable to these beings she was channeling.

This felt to me like inner-dimensional controls, certainly the handing over of my Power, to keep us in this low vibe, this controlled energy space. And the term “lessons” are matrix speak to me.  We are remembering Who We Are. And while I am remembering and incorporating that remembering into my mind and ego and personality to establish a balance with my Higher Self, the concept that we are here to learn and grow, which includes we must suffer in order to grow, we must experience hate to know love and the like is all rubbish.  I wish I had a physical shield that would immediately surround my body when those words are spoken in my presence rendering it impossible for my physical ears to hear the words. Until I have that Star Trek ability, I must rely on my Inner Sovereign Warrior and physical mouth/vocal cords to communicate my Truth.

Which I did.

What came back at me today through the voice of my friend rather surprised me.  First she said my evolving into the 5th Dimensional Frequency was not going to happen in this lifetime.

That earned her a look of raised eyebrows and my saying I absolutely did not resonate with that message.

Next she said many of my issues with anxiety and panic would not be resolving in this lifetime.  Again, I said that did not resonate with me (I was also quite offended) especially since I have the DESIRE to.  And Love In Action would be more than willing to help me with that desire instead of telling me “forget about it – not in this lifetime kid”.  What a manipulative way to attempt to get me to stay in the cycle of reincarnation.  I “fail” to heal of my issues, I then fall back into the trap of thinking “uh oh didn’t get it perfect this time – gotta go back and do it again.”

NOT HAPPENING.

By now my energy was getting quite large within and without – I could feel it expand, creating those boundaries.  The resistance and frustration coming from whatever energy she was channeling was also noticeable, especially considering what was said next.  My friend then said “Spirit” wanted to know if I really believed I was evolving into the higher frequencies, raising my frequency, then why was I still living in 3d reality.

Whoa there, I thought.  That felt confrontational, sarcastic, controlling and ego-filled (fill in the blank w/your own interpretation). Love/Source/Divine does not speak like that.  I knew absolutely for sure that the particular beings she was communicating with were still in the confines of the matrix grid, if not some of the archon controllers themselves.  And what do these beings like to do?

KEEP US AFRAID AND TRAPPED.

I wasn’t having it.

Refusing to answer that statement, I instead said I was not willing to discuss that as it wasn’t in alignment with Who I Am, to which I was told defensively I was “shutting down”, obviously not open to their information.

As though “they” could not expand their perception to include mine.  As though they had to thus judge me (make me feel small and question my own inner self) for not resonating with their message.

I was done with this exchange with these beings.  (yes, beings w/a lower “b”)

So I said “I am not shutting down.  I am simply not accepting their perception as my own.  I am stating my Sovereignty when I say I am not willing to discuss this further.”  (Yeah, I could feel my massive angel wings expand on that one.  I imagined myself holding a big sword and cutting down these false light beings.)

Well, it was again stated I was shutting down.  I was also told I don’t necessarily get to hear what I want, just what I need to hear, again for my “lessons”.  (Typing this up again, I want to scream “WHAT FUCKING LESSONS?  When the beings inside this damn reincarnation system erase my fucking memory and label it in the spiritual world as a ‘necessary amnesia’, how the FUCK am I to know the LESSON if I cannot remember the EXPERIENCE??!!”)

Seriously ~ we have to stop falling for this nonsense!

So it was then I asked her “Who are you communicating with?” and my friend said “God”.

I was blunt.  “No, you’re not,” I said.

We ended the reading after that.

After my friend left and I headed out for a walk, I got to thinking about God and Source and my friend’s belief that she receives her information from Source God.  And I thought of my “no you’re not” response.  I wasn’t trying to be rude.  I wanted to expand on that and figure out why I said those words.

I believe Source communicates with us at a variety of levels of understanding and perception – based on Who We Are at the time.

I have long believed that if Jesus (who I view as either an actual person or metaphor for a highly advanced being) returned, before he would likely be locked away in an asylum under our current societal construct, there would be a variety of interpretations of his message among the populace. Again, all due to Who We Are at this particular point in “time”.  Or as I like to say, in this Now moment.

And that’s what happened today.

So as I received validation of my own Higher Self and what She has been communicating to me, I also received validation that if I am to explore these avenues, it is imperative to stay grounded in Who I Am and to be aware of the intuitive/psychic/channelers belief structure.  I cannot emphasis this enough.

And I also saw where there are still inner dimensional beings who wish to keep us stuck here in this reincarnation cycle.

Let’s all give a resounding “NO MORE” to them.  Make it clear we are DONE with THEIR rules and interpretations about Who We Are.  Our destinies.  And our capabilities.  We are Free Sovereign Beings.

On one hand this reading communicated to me that I and I alone provide all of my answers and healing capabilities. And yet then I was told I would not be healing all of the panic issues in this lifetime.  Pure duality and double- speak.  That says to me I must stand even more firm in Who I Am.

This is a battle folks.  I feel it.  I would prefer not to fight.  I prefer to be soft and kind and loving and to be left alone to BE just that.

But I am willing, capable and ready to resist the archon grid spirit’s games of bullshit.  Today I showed I can do that.

We can do this.  We can resist their game.  We MUST resist.

Even if this means we get labeled a rebel rousing stubborn one.

Shine On You Rockin’ Beautiful Bright Souls ♥  

Here’s some “Soul”spirational music to leave you with…

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here.   Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

Heavy Dense Energies Today And Yet…

 

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Woman, Girl, Freedom, Happy, Sun

Hello beautiful people~

I awoke this morning and immediately felt this heavy denseness within my physical body.  It felt like I was wading through mud, as though gravity was pulling me down.  My mate felt the same way.

Since this morning I have read a couple of pieces that have stated the same.  Aside from astrological/astronomical elements, one of the reasons is due to the collective energies of the masses around this Easter time. Apparently people who celebrate become quite somber as they await the coming of Sunday where they become joyous again at the celebration of Jesus’ Resurrection.

Sigh.  I could go off on a lovely little tangent on that one, but I shall refrain from opening up my mouth (and a can of worms).  Let me just say, being an energy sensitive individual, I really wish the masses would get over their religious addictions.  I don’t need to be brought down!

However, this does allow me the opportunity to go within and find Glorious Me again and BE that beacon of Brightness.  I have long struggled with this and the Universe and my Eternal Self are providing me quite a few chances lately to see if I can master the ability to be grounded in Who I Want To Be without allowing external influences to waiver that experience.

At times I doubt whether I have this ability.  However, when I remember last November, the day after the election, being seemingly the only person in my town who felt uplifted, a shift and just downright happy.  NONE of the external somberness and anger energies I saw on the faces in my community affected me.  Not one little bit.  A real hmmm… experience. (And I didn’t even vote for Trump.  I was just relieved she-who-shall-not-be-named didn’t become the next appointed one.)

So with all of the external chaos going on, as I continue to say, go within, find anything not resonating with Beautiful You, allow it to have a voice and Let Your Shine, well, Shine!

♥♥♥

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here.   Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

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Does anyone know anything about SEO?  I have a plugin installed (YOAST) but I am stumped on choosing keywords and metatags.  I am attempting to increase traffic.  If you can help, please send me a message.  Thank you. 

The Importance of Discernment

 

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I almost put up a channeled piece but decided to look more into this individual and the history of their work.  Just as I thought, as is often the case, some if not many of these channeled works have been repeating the same messages going back yearS (big plural “s” is needed here).  This particular individual put out a piece back in early 2009, right after Obama was sworn into office and it was stated that with this new President, the old ways of war and the like would now be coming to an end.  Clear changes in policies, differing from decades past, were to begin.

Really?

Even though under Obama’s watch there were more bombs dropped than in the previous Administrations.  Even though under his administration, we had the expansion of the Constitution/Freedom destroying “Patriot Act” and the “NDAA”.

I remember when Obama was elected and sworn into office.  I knew his charisma and ability to incite an audience, along with the color of his skin (to show how “progressive” politics really is), were the reason he was selected.  I knew he would not be allowed to bring in the changes he spoke of.  I did research to determine who he was bringing with him.  All Washington Insiders.  I already knew of the shadow government and I knew he was not going to bring in sweeping change.  I knew we would continue to see more of the same with some tweaks.  I wasn’t being pessimistic.  Quite the opposite.  I voted for Nadar at the time because I KNEW we needed a D.C. outsider to bring down the system.

So instead, I was being a realist.

To understand this just took someone with the ability to think with an open mind and to partake of research.  I didn’t need to “channel” anything to know this.

I prefer to own my words ~ especially when it comes to sharing my words with the world.  And it brings a level of disappointment when I see those who don’t.

I have the habit now of checking others who post what sound to be otherwise “fantastical” articles such as President Trump signed an Executive Order to release New Technologies when a quick check on his White House website showed no such thing or when I read “The RV is happening tonight”.  When I see their information is in fact disinformation, I call them on it.  Most of the time I am ignored, but I have heard the excuse is that in the world of intel, we sometimes get things wrong.

Get things wrong, yes.  But when sharing such information that has the potential to really uplift a very-much-ready populace, make damn sure that information is factual ~ meaning check your sources.  As my dear friend John used to say, “I triangulate my information before I share it.”

I have always tried to follow his advice ~ which is why I am so particular in what I post here.  I have wanted to post certain things because I knew it would increase readership but opted not to because I could not trust in the information or the source.  Obviously I want a lot of traffic coming here, but I will not compromise my integrity or personal truth in doing so.

When intel/information that is shared turns out to be inaccurate, own it.

Why is that so difficult?

Are these individuals so focused on growing an audience and making money, they will continue to share information that proves inaccurate and not say a word?  Doesn’t that feel like they may be taking advantage of that very-much-ready populace?

If any of you notice that something I share turns out to be inaccurate, please let me know.  Call me on it!  I am EVERY bit as wanting the Truth as are you.  

So in this internet world of “Good News Is Coming Soon” ~ it is so vital you use your discernment.  Your inner voice.  Your truth button.  If there is anything I can honestly, truthfully pass along it is to always always always keep that as your focus.

No matter what fantastical promises are made by the outside world.

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here.   Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

 

 

On Good-Bye’s and Purging

 

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Non-Commercial, Colleagues, Hand-Painted

With all of the terminating of soul contracts I have been doing, it should not have surprised me that along with that has come some intense purging.  But surprise me it did.  I had another such experience this morning and this one packed a punch.  As I was crying my insides out, I had these flashes of memories go through my mind of either people or situations that are no longer a part of my reality.  I then thought “you never know when you talk with someone if this is going to be the last time.”  And I’m not necessarily speaking of death.  I’m speaking of those situations where you drift apart from others.  Or say you either get divorced or your parents do.

Each of those interactions has just one last minute.  One last conversation. One last smile.  Or one last tear.

And while I felt the pain of those “last moments”, the memories themselves are either fuzzy or gone altogether.

My childhood friend, who remained a close part of my life until I was in my 30’s.  Then suddenly, we just stopped communicating and visiting.  No good reason other than this just happens at times, especially when one (that would be me) undergoes a lot of change.  I don’t remember the last time we spoke, what was said.  None of it.  I just know the pain came up last night through a dream and then, upon awakening.

My parents divorce when I was in my 20’s.  I don’t remember the last time my family was together – just the 4 of us.  But we did have one last time, we just didn’t stop to think “hey this is the last time before mom and dad stop living together.”  I just don’t remember that last time.  It was, as you can imagine, rather chaotic.  But still we did have just one last time together as a family.  Obviously.  I just haven’t any recollection what we did or what was sad.  Pain purge #2 of the day.

I began to remember other such situations, but having purged quite enough already, I decided to shut down that particular thinking/feeling channel.

Sometimes I wish I had the luxury to just stay in bed or in solitude for a month – be waited on – so I could partake of that level of healing. Certainly it would be a gift to have the $$ means to try out alternative forms of energy healing, past life release and the like.  For now I do the best I can on my own.  Overall, I am doing quite well at it.  Rather empowering, to be honest.

As I cried, the song “Crumblin’ Down” by John Cougar Mellancamp ran through my mind.  The walls, crumblin’ and tumblin’ down.  I could literally feel all that energy, those energy walls, crumble down all around me.  It is quite an appropriate song for such a process many of us are going through.

So before I leave you with the song, I will give you this heads up ~ if you choose to participate in the process of removing those soul contracts, know that it is quite possible if not probable some final purging will be coming up.

One last act of release.

One step closer to Total Freedom.

And that’s what we’re all aiming for, right?

 

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here.   Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

Reclaiming Our Power

 

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Woman, Jump, Women'S Power, Sexy

How often we give our power away.

Lifetime after lifetime.

We give it away when we react to a situation instead of being the observer and responding.

We give it away when we pray and ask for something.

We give it away when we worship.

We give it away when we call upon arch-angels and other entities and when we channel.

We give it away when we look to another to rescue or save us.

We even give it away when we go see a counselor or healer and say “help me!”

I’ve done all of the above and more.

I continue to do it – in spite of myself at times.

Not that any of this is “bad”.  I’m not trying to cast judgment.  Certainly if I were drowning or trapped under a pile of debris I would welcome help. Or if I have experienced a tragedy and am unable to handle the emotional consequences, of course I will see someone to speak with.

I’m talking more of this overall behavior of seeking help outside of self as a way of living.  We have all been operating this vessel (our bodies) while pretty much driving blindly.

Let’s give ourselves a pat on the back for doing such a damn fine job given our very very limited perception of Who We Really Are.

A growing rumble within is making itself known…

I want to remember Who I Am.  Not just these beliefs I have and my memories but truly – WHO I AM in my Sovereign Form.

And in doing that, ultimately I must listen to ME and ME only.  No other voice.

I give attention TO something outside of myself for truth and answers, I give my power away.

I give my attention TO something outside of myself expecting love or attention or x y z, I give my power away.

I am beginning to hear and feel within that each moment I doubt myself and turn away from Self….I do myself a disservice.

Each time I engage in the behaviors above, I pull myself further away from ME.

I see it as this ball of yarn and I have untangled myself away from it by doing the above for so long, my “ball” seems very far away.

Perhaps that may be why when I hear or allow myself to read something that does not resonate with me, I cringe within and at times, scream without.

I feel weary ~ like I am so close to this finish line of being fully ME and knowing fully ME – I want to rest for a time.

I want to wrap my arms around myself and sit in a quiet room, alone, for as long as it takes, until every bit of energy I have given away for each physical lifetime experience is returned to ME.

This is more than just wanting the memories restored.

This is more than just wanting my super powers restored.

More than my cells to be healed.

More than my DNA to be turned on.

I want it all back.

I want ALL OF ME back.

NO exceptions.

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