Editor’s note: I am on this guy’s e-mail list. I subscribed to his youtube channel a few months ago. I deeply resonated w/his ideas on health/healing, the system and living. The small, off grid away from the toxicity of city living. Self sustaining. Self governing. A like-minded truthseeker. Earlier today he sent out a brutally honest heartfelt letter ~ a plea. At a crossroads, close to becoming homeless, he was fed up, not knowing what to do other than to just give up. I wrote him, shared my own heart and story, how I could resonate w/wanting to stop the doing, the sharing/work, and the ever b.s. game of making money at what we feel we are here to do ~ seek the truth and share it in whatever way we feel called to. It’s deeply hard on even a good day to be so intensely sensitive, passionate and feel so unwanted “out there” ~ the weird one in the room. Anyway, I could deeply relate and really wanted to help him so I offered to share his plea with my readers as well as on some of the social media platforms I am on (as well as personally contacting some of the bigger successful ascension type sites ~ the ones that make very good income doing what they do ~ and ya’ll know I feel they need to be doing more to promote and assist those of us not as “big” and “popular”)… I heard back from him this evening and he requested I share this piece below instead. So here it is. It warms my heart o know his story has a happy ending. [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”] It is a humbling reminder that this is real work we do. And when the system/world, family and friends and our own inner programming puts on the pressure for us to “do more” or “get a real job”, it is when our supporters of our work show their love through financial support, this means the world and keeps us going . It certainly does for me as well. Much love ~ Victoria
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I have had a REALLY rough year. I won’t get into why or spill the story out in the open, but my point for writing this is to say something kind about human nature. I have been angry and frustrated more than ever because, well, sometimes people seem like a virus. Nature and animals are amazing. But people? They can ruin things quickly with their inner tyranny and the need to be “better than” and their easily duped, naiveté, and their zombie like qualities.
But today I got a wake up call. Today I sent out an honest, emotional letter to my mailing list. It was one that I didn’t want to send because it was me admitting to being a failure in life essentially. I put it all out there. I’ve been broke, kicked around, hurt, and spinning my wheels trying to search for truth, make videos, make movies, write and produce albums, but as many darts as I’ve thrown at the board, I haven’t been able to make a living. I was about a week away from being without a home, without any new way to make money and feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve been fighting on the front lines with regard to free speech, the truth movement, alternative healing, orgonite, toxic “smart grid” and fighting against power companies and removing smart meters. I’ve been trying to help however I can. But I forgot to take care of myself. My money, health, depleted energy, resources, everything.
I deleted my YouTube channel today because they have been ghost banning, censoring, throttling and I found out, totally removing me from suggested videos on YouTube. Their PC gremlins have been actively working against me and many others that want to speak unpopular truths. I just feel like I’ve been hitting my head against a brick wall for about 6 years now since I had an awakening. I’ve become a better human being, more moral, harder working, not perfect, but better.
But I’ve been angry, frustrated, feeling sorry for myself too. I’m a passionate artist type, so you know the kind, a little emotional and irrational from time to time. But laser focused, driven and I have a good heart. But I sent out a note saying I feel like giving up after 6 years of making videos, content, music, documentaries, writing articles etc.
People sent donation after donation. I didn’t send out a highly edited email, but an emotional plea. My friends and past customers and music supporters flooded in money, letters of support, encouragement, kindness and not hours later, immediately. It made me realize, in a time of emotional and financial crisis, how fucking KIND people can STILL be in this crazy world. I’m writing this in tears and I don’t give a shit how that sounds or what folks might think of me.
I’m 6’8″ 260 and a big teddy bear deep down. Past my anger, past my hurt, past my frustrations, I care. But I’m also known for being protective, inward, aloof, distant, and stubborn. I’ve been avoiding the cities and avoiding people for the last year or two. I felt like giving up today, not just with social media, but with life, with music, with hope. I’ve been in the throws of such a deep depression, I haven’t seen a way out for years to be honest. Writing songs and having a beer with friends were the only things keeping me from jumping off a proverbial (if not real) cliff.
But after the MASSIVE display of affection and real care I’ve been given today, I have to say, I just have this massive hope for the human race even though Mordor is at our door and the gates are busted open, orcs spilling out into the night. But I got a magic spell of healing, and a rallying army of heavily armored friends, fighting with me at the turn of the tide. This is all metaphorical, I believe in peace not war. But the way of the PEACEFUL warrior can be just as daunting in this life.
I just wanted to write this note thanking the empathetic people that fight to stay that way. I want to thank the people that have the courage to stand up and speak the truth. I appreciate the people that have an open mind, that care, that always try to do what’s right in the face of unspeakable odds. Those that rally to give support to a fallen brother, and those that simply give a shit in a world gone mad. Thank you. It’s people like you, and the folks that reached out to me today, well, it kinda saved my life.
Right now, all I keep hearing is “Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Sugar Bear…” by Elton John. One of the most beautiful songs ever written, some of the best harmonies ever recorded, and a heart jerking, emotion filled, killer ballad. It seems so appropriate in the middle of these tears.
Here’s to the rebels, the renegades, the artists, the empaths, the kind hearted, the passionate, the truth seekers. Let’s break open the good single malt Scotch and have a moment together here in this British pub of my technicolor imagination. Thank you my friends. You helped me more than you could ever know. Raise your glasses one time with me… Cheers!!! Sending love and paying it forward. I’ll try to turn this gift into something magical. I promise.
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