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I deeply need for this whatever it is that’s taking place to wrap up.  This quest for freedom.  Feels to me when we assert our boundaries further whether seen or unseen, those seeking to continue control amp it up for another swipe.  I felt this energetically this morning….then saw it when I received my insurance and water bills – both of them jumping up – quite significantly.  Water bill jumped up 3% in one area, 15% in another and over 4% in another (they add on all sorts of ridiculous taxes which they call “fees” so the city can get away with it and one of those taxes is to fix our roads which we have been paying on that for about 12 years and the roads are worse than ever).  Insurance bill jumped up too.  Every damn 6 months it does – corporate increases which they pass on to me.

I drove around once again going within to find some peace and answers.  I don’t know where else to “go” and even if I did I don’t have that kind of money to get there.  Today’s rental prices – everywhere I look – are insane – literally – insane.  Then take into consideration first, last and deposit. Hence, the growing homeless population.

So I found no peace nor did I find answers in my drive.  I did hear Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” come onto the radio and said “nope – I will not go numb nor will I listen to this music any longer that was created by people who sold out” which stinks as I love their music.

How long can this unsustainable b.s. continue?  The homeless need to unite and fight back.  The poor.  Those most victimized – UNITE.  Around here people are too pacified.  They approve every tax increase, speak out of their overly-educated minds somehow forgetting their HueManity.  Our city council is horrid and yet the people continue to vote in the same idiots who waste money solve nothing of substance and feed the mouth of the big university system.

Anyway….today was just an energetic day of blah and getting nailed again by “da man” for more $$ out of my pocket pushed on me far too hard.  How am I to EVER get ahead?! How am I to actually heal my body with the things I wish to do when something “out there” (da man) comes along and says “Not so fast.  I’ll take that money there missy for my already over inflated budget and bank account”.

I am upset over this.  I am done with it and I keep saying this.  I create my own reality?  REALLY?  IN WHAT WAY?  I’m done with this “control your reaction” nonsense.  What does that do to eliminate any of the unnecessary suffering imposed by the system of control and pay to live?  It makes for a complacent, always allowing society who sit back and watches the theft continue.  That is not who i am OR Who I Am.

Perhaps an area with yellow vest peeps is where I need to “go”.  Some answers…..open door….SOMETHING pretty awesome to help me in moving “forward”.  The “no’s” have had their way long enough in my life.

Love,

Victoria

I’ve continued to reflect on the moon and its influence on us.  Its purpose. This simulated object is not something that serves us – we serve it (when we give it energy especially our focused energy).  I am going to say something that both repels people from my site but also brings in readers who say things to me like “YES!  I thought I was the only one.”

This latest mass meditation on the full moon and the eclipse was to give that object more energy.  It had nothing to do with freeing us.  Why do I feel this?  Because we have had so many full moon meditations to release us from this prison and from our past, we should have been free of it all by now. I know the concept of where we are and who we are and how to be free are more complex than that.  I continue to ponder this situation seeking answers from within.

Full Moons create anxiety and for some, manic behavior.  Chaos.  Energies zapping us to “purge” what is within.  A totally unpleasant experience.  Why is that?  If the moon is our friend, shouldn’t the full moon bring us lasting peace? Lasting liberation?  And even at that, what IS a “full” moon?  It only appears full, crescent, etc. to our eyes.  I don’t visit my friends to bring them discomfort. My intent is to bring joy, companionship, support.  That is what LOVE DOES.

It’s been said (and in which I agree – or at least I can find no reason not to see truth) that the moon has been used as the reincarnation trap.  We leave our bodies.  We get “sucked” towards the moon (the white light) – we get our experiences wiped then we get tossed back in to a new body for another lovely new experience.

So I was thinking of how I felt the past couple of days with the full moon (and the eclipse).  HORRIBLE emotionally.  Mentally.  I felt a lot of agitation.  Argumentative.  Easily triggered.  I pulled myself out of this last night and said “this is NOT who I AM”.  I felt we were bombarded with frequencies from that thing and just like this matrix energy system, if we give the moon (or whatever fake object they have planted here) focus and support without question, some get a reward.  Like a token in a game.  Or a rat in a cage gets its cheese when it does what its masters want him to.  I don’t like saying this but for now this is how I am seeing this 3d experience.

I have noticed for myself in the past when I would give my feminine energies of honor and love to the moon, I would feel blessed.  Serene.  And yet now I have noticed when I have questioned all of that and no longer participate in full moon ceremonies, I feel yuck.  Coincidence?

If the moon were truly supportive, this would not have been my experience. Such a consciousness would seek to gently and lovingly guide one back to join in and focus w/It.  Right?

I am wondering as well if the moon keeps those energies of past experiences alive within us.  I could be absolutely wrong on this one but again, this is how I am seeing this and feeling this.  It has energy cords (invisible…or perhaps visible to certain eyes as well)…attached to us.  Each of us, unique “codes”. When the call for another “purge” is sent out, those of us most in tune with the experience of purging feel the old stuff come up.  We cry all over again. Release.  Forgive.  And aaahhh we move on.  Ignore it (as I have been doing) – and the “pounding” within to stir things up feels, for me that is, even more intense.

Only to repeat all over again.

My question:  How many “times” does one need to “purge” in order to be free of past pain?

Perhaps I am being guided to dig deeper and really feel that every thing that creates pain and fear in this realm is an illusion.

I did an experiment this morning – totally without my ego mind or human brain involved.  This came from within.  I had an experience that often leaves me weeping – longing for home, the old real ways I once experienced – that sort of weeping.  Only this time I felt that Me within and “out there” guide me to just feel the love of the experience instead of just focusing on the energy of longing.  The experience that normally left me weeping had me feeling so happy and serene I giggled like a child.  It.  Was.  AWESOME!

Later on as I shared it with my mate, I felt a pull on my body to go back to the energy of longing and I could literally feel my energy SINKING and being sucked in – as in quick sand.  NO.  I immediately put a stop to that and said “NO” and was able to let it go.  For the most part.  Later on in the shower I had a crying experience and then made myself stop.  No, I said.  I’ve already cried over this.  I WILL NOT ENGAGE IN DOING THIS.

Stop feeding what the machine wants – it has to wither away.

While I am not exactly sure HOW we all actually literally get out of here and change this realm over into what so many of us have seen, experienced, longed for – I do feel our days of doing all of these purging things can be over if we simply refuse to feed the code within us that, again just feeling this – this code that says “keep the purging going continuously until…..”.

Doesn’t such energies feed the matrix machine?

I feel it does.

Think of it this way.  We know this realm and the systems that are a part of it are designed to keep us afraid.  Traumatized.  Focused away from love and the like.

And yet, again, like I don’t know exactly HOW we “get out” (lots of theories I have shared here – I align and continue to align most w/Lisa Harrison and Yellow Rose) – I have this quiet feeling within I don’t need to participate any longer in my experiences of purging and feeling things and experiences that DO NOT BRING ME LOVE and JOY.  And that brings up the part of addiction and how I also feel many of not most or all of us have a level of addiction w/in us that keeps us stuck in the past.  More on that perhaps at another “time”.

So while perhaps I may still be a part of this matrix system – for now – I can at least take another step in my refusal to participate IN it.  Maybe it can be and is as simple as saying “No been down that road” (just like in The Matrix Movie) – then giving any resistance Love and Forgiveness.

Does this make sense?

And one last word – on the mechanics of “how” to break free from an energy net – matrix grid:  We need a Spiritual MacGyver.

Any volunteers?  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

Love,

Victoria

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Thank you for supporting my work.  I offer a donation-based/reader-supported site.  Donations are always welcome and needed.  To leave a little love, please follow the link below.

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after a much needed purge listening to the wonderful classic country (still have it going, btw)….i was brought back again to the memories of my grandparents house.  i was suddenly angry that i don’t have that family any longer.  it isn’t fair they died.  this went beyond anger.  beyond ego.  it went deep into the knowing – once again – that we were never originally created to die so young.  to get sick so easily.

we’ve been so fucking robbed here.

after processing all of that, i went to the year 2012.  the year of “so much stuff”.  it was the year we were forced out of our previous home.  during the holiday’s (late 2011/early 2012).  very stressful which goes without saying. we had to surrender our dog to a rescue organization as this no-pets-policy-home was the only one available to rent during that time of year.  our girl was a year old.  our choice – take the home and have a place to live or keep going and live in a shelter – where we would still have to surrender our dog.  the choice was obvious – but painful as crap.  this realm puts us in situations far too often where our choices are limited, hampered and cause unnecessary harm.  all because of another’s damn rule.

2 months later my mate had to have surgery and a week before his surgery, my grandma died.  i don’t know how i dealt with this – obviously not fully. within weeks following his surgery, his health began to deteriorate – he lost weight – he was weakening.  so many doctor visits.  and yet finally a real diagnosis and things looked up in that regard.  new doctor.  new treatment protocol.  during this time, however, sadly 2 friends of ours died.  WTF life, i remember thinking.  just STOP already with this shit.

and yet…..throughout all of this intense roller coaster riding, i began seeing things about 2012 and the prophecies and new earth.  new earth?  what was that, i wondered – intrigued.  maybe the dreams of a new world we had had years ago meant something after all.  the whole 2012 search, however, had to remain on the back burner though given the complexities of that year.

so 2012 began with a series of changes that left me feeling “am i coming am i going can i rest now?”  THE year that so many were so focused on much in the way i am now.  bringing in the new.  (bringing it in – not really.  at this point i am COMMANDING that into my experience.)  acclimating to energies.  etc. etc. and here i was, completely absorbed, out of necessity, in 3D living and doing’s.  death.  disease.  caring for a baby and my mate. moving/unpacking and all that goes on with that.  i kinda laugh at that now given who i am and who i had been until that time.  very focused on all issues of spirit.  conspiracies. and THE year that was alleged to be the pivotal for all of that “stuff” – and i was involved in none of it.  at least i have a good sense of irony and humor around it (well….when the best within has been soothed that is – ha).

and yet there is that underlying sense of “it’s not fair”.  this realm isn’t fair to any of us.  obviously.  deception at every corner and enslavement create that inner state and knowing.  it’s understandable.  i’m the type if you want to express such words (and i am not too already overwhelmed myself at the time), i call you over and say sit by me and let it out.  i get it.

i reflect on how much control i play in this experience.  with so many of us saying “what the frig is taking so long?  i am DONE here.” heck, even people who aren’t into new earth are telling me the same.  as one recently said, they were so ready for a new chapter to this book.  the fatigue is in all of us – whether we are conscious of it or not.  i see it in people’s eyes often these days.

ready for a new chapter.

yes we are.  a new chapter on which to write and create.  and my chapter includes the story that includes families who stay together.  where there is no illness (or at least if one crops up it’s cured easily).  we live as LONG AS WE CHOOSE to live in these physical bodies.  there is no poverty. no homelessness.  no hunger.  no god damn awful horrible suffering – the kind that is created when others hold the illusion they can power over others.

that is a chapter i am ready to slam shut.

happy writing in the NEW.

love,

victoria

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Thank you for supporting my work.  I offer a donation-based/reader-supported site.  Donations are always welcome and needed.  To leave a little love, please follow the link below.

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i’m still someplace else today – more than i was yesterday.  in the new i am definitely having much more of a family tribe.  being a parent – for both my mate and i – has become extremely difficult.  energy to keep up just is not there.  making it through the day and just coming up with an idea for dinner plus prepping it – well that’s a “success” to me these days.  and i’m damn tired of it.  i want to feel alive and well again and be fully functioning.  these incoming plasma energies (below) are really impacting this body.  still engaged in my 7pm naps – and i don’t want to get out of the bed when i do awaken.

tonight as i was half awake cooking dinner i said out loud to no one in particular – ok if you take one more piece of this energy of mine within i am going to have to live in bed.

how some can feel AMAZING right now – well i am not having that experience.  that isn’t because i don’t feel amazing changes are taking place and that we are right there on that door step just waiting – feeling that so deeply in my body – it’s just the PROCESS of this – whatever “this” is – is it ascension as some say?  it is a true escape from an energy prison?  whatever “this” is – at this point – feeling amazing and liberated and light and free is NOT my experience.  i want to scream with frustration at how fucking tired i am.

if i am around any sort of conflict or drama – i walk away.  just walk away girl, i tell myself now.  walk away.  cannot and will not participate.  just let others BE.

i had an image come to me today – in terms of this political stuff/change. we have had this beautiful table full of spoiled food (disguised as healthy). do we want the rotten food cleared and the table cleaned before we are gifted with the real stuff?  of course.  the table is being cleaned.  that is where i see things are at.

other feels that continue – Kennedy Jr. will be the one to reveal the truth to the dem/left supporters.  potus cannot pull that off by himself.  their programming is far too deep.  that is unless this massive cosmic experience we call the Event does it.  that is possible too.

for now if i had the luxury i would simply be sleeping.  ordering take out. stocked up on frozen meals.  eating healthy (home cooked, fresh, etc.) is not making a difference – at least not much of one – so ease is becoming top priority.  stretching.  head pressure is here.  congestion.  in a nutshell, i am a tired pecan who is done with this 3D experience.

speaking of the dimensional speak ~ tuning in to the Source within me – as much of Source is actually in these current body models – if I were Pure Source Love – would I want all of my creation scattered in different dimensions?  no way.  i’d want everyone at my big table.  sure you can go join in with your own little tribes and groups but division where you aren’t allowed to visit other tribes?  NO WAY.

relief.  release.  relaxation.  and for now – doing some light detoxing.  not feeling like eating much.

off to stretch, do a few rounds on the punching bag, then watch the JFK jr. special although i have no expectations of that and may not watch the entire program.

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victoria

well not that i have moments like this every day but we thought it was significant.  my mate has been buying BIC lighters for decades.  today we picked up a package at the store and upon bringing them home, noticed something new – tiffany blue (picture below).  as he said he has never seen that color before.  he put it on the mantle and said he would not be using it.  i added “we will use it for the right moment”.  at the grand reveal we will light it in his honor ~ and his father’s.

on to the next share.  i have been seeing people i know – and haven’t seen for some time – and have suddenly very recently wanted to see recently – ALL WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS.  this includes one woman i haven’t seen in YEARS and saw her today at the store.  it was wonderful just to say hi and catch up a bit. there has to be a reason for this.  my mate says maybe it’s one last connection – a need to create that one last moment – before the transition. a good-bye of sorts perhaps.  whatever the reason, smiles and hugs ensued and for that ~ i am grateful.  when we get past our stories and labels, we really are all One.  Connected.

and on we go to the last share….i had another Trump dream.  new subscribers won’t know this but i have had dreams of president’s going back to Clinton.  each dream has proven accurate as to their true nature/character.  i had one of clinton, one of bush and two of obama. (and yes i did not enjoy any of those dreams).

Trump?  i’ve lost count.  each one though has shown his character to be honest.  fearless.  and indeed in command.  each dream has been purely enjoyable and comforting.  as i can recall in most of the dreams he’s either been on edge/guard as in prepared…very busy (but finds the time to help/answer questions/say hello to me)….  last night’s dream he was relaxed.  getting ready to celebrate (he was buying cake – asking for advice from my girl who was with me in the dream).  he seemed to have no place to go –  no sense of urgency about him whatsoever.  i am taking that as a very good sign.  in the shower today i saw a line of dominoes in my minds eye.  i feel he has lined up all the dominoes – done all of the necessary prep work – and now he can push them over and let those of the clean up do their work.

i gotta tell you i feel very humbled.  i feel i have been given sideline seats to this unfolding.  and all has been an absolute surprise given i didn’t even vote in the 2016 election.  i was already in the know about hrc.  and i didn’t like trump.  i had fallen for the media’s version of his character.  to say i was apathetic about the world and system changing is an understatement. i thought i was done w/having hope for change.  you know – REAL change. however when i woke up the day after the election and felt this amazing sense of peace and calm and liberation that i simply could not explain or understand w/my human brain, i began to do my research into this man.  i discovered i not only liked him – i admired him.  deeply.  and like so many of us, fell in love with him and what he is so obviously “meant” to do at this time.  then the dreams began during this time which only added to my expansion.

amazing times we are in.  thank you for being a part of it with me.

much love,

victoria

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