what’s sleep?
really struggling – mentally. could use some prayers. having a hard time maintaining on my own with my own stuff atm.
i saw this and really. really. really. appreciated his words (el seventeen percento response – not the first part on unity):
It's what happens when the collective is plunged into survival mode…when any animal is starving nothing else matters until it can eat…
— El_Seventeeno_Percento (@El_Seventeeno) September 21, 2023
exactly! i have been pushing myself so much lately – applying for jobs – asking for help – searching seeking researching asking for what i need (still waiting for SOMETHING positive to come my way and STICK) doing more advertising with this site and getting on new pages to share it because making more money with my work is a numbers game (the more who view = the more revenue and higher up in search engines) – including putting in hyperlinks google ad sense sent me – which aren’t working and i can’t figure out why – i have no funds to hire someone – and my brain doesn’t f’ing function well these days due TO being in survival mode for too long on top of everything else i’ve had to endure and deal with – honestly NONE of it i have consented to and i’m done hearing that’s war blah blah blah – this plan installed actors to play rolls to SHOW AND TELL – allegedly – and they sure as hell aren’t hurting for $$ – survival mode for too long drains you. jesus! i have put myself into debt to keep going and i can’t. do. that. anymore. we’re supposed to unite? i’m focused solely on my little world here – seeking others who aren’t so desperate to help. me. in. the. way(s). i. need.
i am 50 something. i have been doing this work here for 7 years. what. do. i. have. to. show. for. it? how do i plan for a future when i can’t afford to do what i so desire to and atm need so much TLC and healing and support? and my child – who needs pajamas and talks about college and money for that. and my business idea that just needs people with money who share my vision to implement.
are there not any real philanthropists left? if so WHERE ARE THEY?!
deep breath…………….
on the world front – murdoch is stepping down. but i thought he was already gone. ? does it feel like timeline messing with again? today – i don’t know and i don’t care atm.
i had a strange dream – i was awake in it – as awake as i’ve ever been – as in i knew i was in a simulation and i was able to find (and remove) the simulated entities disguised as people. then i got “lost” again and eventually it ended.
btw – i heard from laura – she’s much better today so thank you for your love!
sleep, sleep – where for art thou?
feels like – once again – i have hit a wall in my actions to create. doesn’t help w/the sleep thing. anxiety ain’t helping. i’m about out of my cbd oil – been nursing that the past several weeks. sometimes it helps. i just really need some truly positive news and happenings.
that’s all for now. going to sit in the sun. how are you all doing?
love,
victoria
