So I am at my other site – Victoria T is creating Intuitive Reflections of the world around me…. (buymeacoffee.com) – trying to put together a story. My brain struggles to put the words together in a creative format lately. I used to be such a good storyteller. These days, it takes all I have just to put together brief commentary here much of the time.
My girl walks into the room where my desk is – asks if we can watch Charlie Brown Halloween later. Sure, I told her, after I finish writing up my story, which I was struggling to do. I couldn’t get it to flow – at all.
Then I pause.
“Be honest,” I told myself. “I’m not in the space to write this story. I’m too damn tired. Admit it – you are just trying to raise some money because you’re broke!” It was true. Writing a story – doing something that is intuitively creative – you can’t force it. And here I was trying to force it all for money. So I closed the site and came here instead – to share an experience of manifesting I had earlier tonight while at the store.
My daughter and I went together. She wanted to look at barbie dolls. I wanted a pineapple. I walk over to the Coinstar machine – hoping to find some change. Nothing. I lamented – out loud. “Why is it your dad checks these things and usually finds change? Piles of it! What is it with me and money? What exactly is it that I am manifesting? What EXACTLY is finding me lately?”
I walk away and just then – I stop in my tracks. My go-to comfort song is playing. Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes. Say Anything. John Cusack. There’s a yearlong story there – but it’s been around all that time – bringing me comfort when I need it.
I look up only to see I am in front of aisle 17. I stand there – relishing the moment – and decide to go upstairs with my girl to look at barbies. The Hot Wheels bin stops me. After being given that 2009 DeLorean by my spouse in recent weeks – I’ve wanted another. He has been looking all over town since then for one for himself without success.
I look inside the bin – and I immediately see 2 of them – right on top. Tiffany Blue too. I paused – should I spend the money? Inner playful me reallllly wanted those DeLoreans. Logical me spoke up. It would be better used for food, she pointed out. I hesitated – then chose to listen to the playful voice within and put the two cars in my bag. I began to walk away but a nudge within told me I couldn’t leave without 3 – one for each of us. I hesitated again. More money. Oh just fuch it, I told myself, digging down a few layers of cars. And there it was – #3. Into the bag she went with the other 2.
These moments – these finds – won’t buy food for myself and my family – but they do gift me with the knowing that I am not alone – and that I can still manifest here inside this place.
AND – most importantly – that something bigger – something beyond my beautiful brain – continues to build – that will bring me to everything I have longed for and intended.
It will be that way for us all. 💖💜💖
Love,
Victoria
Love this post 💙 😎 Just a quick hello to say thank you again for your time and effort putting these up. They are really appreciated by me and still read them daily. Keep battling on lady. We will get there and it will be epic. Sending love to you and your family.