As I wrote earlier, the song below came on the radio as I headed to the store. I could have stayed in the car and cried for an hour but had shopping to do and most importantly, my child with me. Listening to it again, I think of the games we play with one another. The drama. The accusing. The blaming. The arrogance. The refusal to think outside of our own little boxes, which feel safe but are nothing but an illusion. Our ability to work out conflicts stink. We all suck at it. And so the drama and the blaming and the accusing continue on. Continue on because with each conflict, unresolved pain arises putting us into defensive mode.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had a system that not only supported us as Who We Really Are but also included in this system was conflict resolution, provided for all, regardless of age. I’ve studied this topic and am embarrassed to say “I should know better” in how I deal with conflict.
I know better. I know the language to use so as to greatly reduce or eliminate a defensive response.
Good intentions. Lousy follow-up.
I know better.
Lots of discomfort coming up around relationships right now. Feeling it in my body. And here I sit, stuffing my mouth full of kettle corn and other “comfort” foods that bring me only stomach discomfort.
So I put them down. And I pause. Go within. Feel the tension. Earlier I released by giving my punching bag several rounds. A couple of faces were on that bag. I punched until I felt within “enough – focus on forgiving. See the innocence in all involved.” The experience left from that is resignation and a deep quiet.
Walking is therapeutic as well – slow or fast (depending upon my need). Yoga is also a go-to for me and my body.
And then I listen to songs like this to not only cry but to humble myself. To remind myself that hurting people hurt others. It’s that simple.
It’s important to make space to acknowledge this and allow for our own pain AND the pain of the other.
