UPDATE: I’ve had some toxic comments left in regards to what I shared below – I was going to engage and attempt to reason with and explain – but decided instead to block them from returning. If I am not safe to ask for help and/or share what I’m going through – I have no use for anyone in my life, personal or here at my site, who thinks the answer to someone hurting is to judge and ridicule. FAFO to those who engage w/that ugly.
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My heart is so heavy.
I have been working so hard and so diligently and I can’t keep this up anymore. I cannot change my life on my own apparently. I well there are so many other people I am competing with and I am drowning here and if it were just me it would be one thing but I have to fight to keep going for me and my daughter and my friends if you come here you have to see me for where I am now and I am not in a good space anymore. I am not strong like I used to be I’m tired of being told fight keep going be strong but I need people helping me I don’t understand that I am so disappointed in humanity I go on all these alleged support boards and they give me system based agencies that don’t help. I don’t understand it I don’t understand why I cannot find people who hear me when I say this is what I need and I am provided that very thing.
I started this website with the title for a very specific reason. I’ve always known that no one makes it here alone and that the answer to every single problem is love when it shows up in action. I feel like I am fighting a battle all on my own and I am not winning. I just want to be seen. I want to be asked what do you need. I want to feel like I have something to contribute and to provide and that will truly make a difference and will give me the means to provide for my child in the way that she deserves and that I want oh my God I want this more than anything. I sit here pouring my heart out and I am crying. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. I am breaking down from being harmed and the loneliness that I feel when I pour my heart out and go to see if anybody is heard me I don’t know I just know we can’t make it in this world on our own no one does and I don’t understand why I have not been able to manifest what I need. I am truly at a loss and I’m also tired of letting it go and letting it be I’ve been doing that a lot lately and nothing is coming to me. Well I shouldn’t say that the idea to pursue being an instacart Shopper and Uber delivery was a new idea and I pursued those and I already shared what happened. It’s like there’s this Force around me and I can’t get rid of it and I’ve tried and I have prayed and I do all my intention I really need help I am desperate okay if I wasn’t desperate I wouldn’t be saying that but I am desperate for help
Victoria, we are ALL in this moment in history-in this TRANSITION Together. All of us must ask ourselves what our value as human beings IS. We are subject to incredible electronic smog which is fogging up our lens. Our perception of reality is continually challenged during the Big Tech Putsch. If I say to you: “Hang in there”-it isn’t going to provide the support you need. That said-if particular relationships are draining your life force–then you have the option to cut the cords. Moving out of any relationships (at work-at home-greater community, etc) may not feel comfortable-and yet, we are Human BEINGS–and Who we BE defines our value. Your voice is important whether you can see this or not. If you need a sounding board-an ear-any sort of ‘listening’ outside of your own head, I can make time to speak with you. The last several years have been challenging for me and many of my closest friends, as well. I am still working on living in alignment with my greater inclinations re self-expression. In a sense I am aware that all is Process–hence–getting to the end goal is not necessarily the most important thing, in the end. Please take a moment to listen to this video that Saratoga Ocean made this week-her insights are spot on in my purview. We have made progress, and despite the un-sanity all around us, transformation is in sight. Blessings! YuToob link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrQCOF7D8Ug
cut the cords? when i have the MONEY i need and deserve i will.