There is a tit for tat – gaslighting – old programming under narc control energy in-the-air now. Seeing it a lot online at the moment. We’ve all been on the receiving end and giving end (to varying degrees of course) – however for those of us on the real path of awakening within, we become more comfortable in seeing where we have been on the giving end and thus work on making changes with our behavior. There are some unfortunately who won’t – who can’t do this. That’s where people like Melanie Tonia Evans enter to help those of us trying to heal from the damage done as a result of such relationships/exchanges and help us not feel so crazy at times.
I remain a work-in-progress as I continue to see those very ancient old wounds within still needing seen healed transitioned into New and Healthy. And sometimes that including cutting out such conversations when you see that any attempt at rational logical reasoning – sharing from your heart – your Truth – cannot get past the wall of the persons programming. And this decision could be considered stonewalling when it’s really about personal protection/boundary setting. This is a very good – validating – enlightening piece. I love her work.
Emotional Invalidation In Relationships: How To End The Cycle
The full delusion of toxic invalidation is displayed when this person plays the victim, telling you why everything and everyone else is to blame whilst being completely non-accountable themselves.
The worst:
Soul Invalidation
This invalidation level is even more toxic and damaging than not allowing the teamwork and trust of your input.
A narcissistic person will commonly start this invalidation when you try to have a serious conversation with them about the way they are behaving. Even a casual conversation about something that the toxic person needs to do or something you are bringing to their attention, can trigger a deep narcissistic injury due to ‘any perceived criticism’.
Deep traumatic invalidation occurs when you are told your thoughts and feelings are wrong. “You should not feel that. You are too sensitive. That is not what is happening. These are all the reasons that a whole other reality is happening.”
This person will also give you a compendium of excuses and justifications – bringing in irrelevant examples such as how other people behave – to invalidate your experience and tell you why you have it wrong.
And how YOU are wrong for even bringing this up.
Naturally, your head starts spinning.
It doesn’t matter how often you explain WHY you feel this way. The toxic person refuses to acknowledge it. In shock and distress, you may lose your temper and stay awake all night, heartbroken, while this person sleeps soundly in the spare bedroom, happy to have gotten rid of you.
Traumatic invalidation includes gaslighting. Lying to you to skew your reality. Saying they never did that or said that. Or can’t remember saying it. Or you misheard it.
All of what you wrote here is what needs to be acknowledged and addressed if we are to end the cycles of victim/predator-Matrix mania. Yesterday I spoke briefly with a person half my age, and made reference to the incredible lies and deceits we’ve been subjected to the last 7 years. The woman smiled broadly and said, “and longer.” To which I added–“yes!…say for the last 4,000 years!” Dr Joseph Farrell wrote a book on the effects of Babylonian black magick and how the eco-financial “system” (really, a ‘program’) is a Babylonian invention. The entirety of the BANK game (like the board game-Monopoly) is designed as an ‘either/or’ proposition. Hence the ‘victim/predator’ cycle perpetuates itself and most people on the survival paycheck treadmill don’t see how they are complicit in the maintenance of the ‘winners/losers’ materialism paradigm. Usury is obviously a huge elephant in our collective living room. Just as slavery and debt-slavery are attributes of the matrix mind games.
Gas-lighting is a by-product of the programming and mental conditioning we humans have endured for thousands of years. I figure that the “victim” archetype and contributing sub-personalties is hardwired in our human DNA.
This prompts the question: who/what maintains authority and control as long as we remain slaves in a system? ‘Poverty by design’ is a fact of life in the matrix. Blessings!