It seems this satanic face diaper sickness is everywhere. Commercials. Magazines. It was even on the front of our local Parks and Rec. catalogue recently. The “new norm” in recreating. Run and suffocate. Play hoops and faint. Yoga and new breathing techniques to ensure you stay conscious.
CHECK please!
I have the most bizarre dreams and at this point I seem to be having more of them (not just bizarre but the actual number of dreams). The sense I have is I am now really trying to “get outta dodge”.
The dream I had during my sleep time – that I most remember – I was with a group of people. It felt like many of you – those whom I haven’t met in person – and most for whom I don’t even know what you look like. But that was my sense. We were all at some agency like DMV (department of motor vehicles – for those who live outside the states – it’s not a pleasant place to go. They only employ zombies. No joke. You don’t see a happy face at that place. lol)
So in this dream I went over to the machine that prints out tickets with numbers on it and took a handful. I distributed them out to my friends and we sat down – away from the chaos – and waited for our number to be called. Off to my right I noticed a beautiful scenery outside. Beautiful trees, walkways, grass. I wanted to look at it until it was my turn. However, someone from my past entered and closed the curtains so I couldn’t see this beauty.
“That’s it,” I said. “I’m done waiting.” I got up and walked into the chaos to figure out what was taking so long. Why weren’t our numbers being called? I asked a female employer who was a grouchy karen. I noticed she was writing the numbers on a white board instead of calling them out. I saw the #82 – looked at my ticket – and said “hey that’s my number. I’m here. I’m ready. It’s my turn now.”
Nope. She tried to tell me I missed my chance and had to get in the back of the line.
“Nope,” I said. I wasn’t accepting her answer so I pushed my way through the crowd and got into the front of the line.
The dream ended.
No surprise – this dream – given how I feel every day now. Either bring me new people and a new better experience (which I seek and intend regularly) or END THIS GAME and LET ME OUT.
This evening I had to get out of the house (too much drama). As I’m driving around one of my old time favorite songs came on: What’s Goin’ On (Four None Blondes – 1990’s). As I was literally driving up a hill I hear the line: “25 years and my life is still….tryin’ to get up that great big hill of hope…for a destination.” That felt more prevalent today than it did back when I WAS 25 and hearing that song for the first time. It seems I have no answers now. No answers as to what’s going on – what’s playing out – what’s coming – what to do. That being said I’m still like that woman I was in my dream – pushing through anything trying to hold me back or tell me “no” until I reach that destination I seek.
I wondered about the number too – 82. Doesn’t resonate with me. So I decided to gematria it.
BIG CHANGE
F EM ALL (lol)
Ok then. Sounds about right where I am.
Other than that……I purged some belongings today. I also found a couple of containers with old letters and other memories which, I had forgotten, I had meticulously organized. I may go through them – find some old part of me that once felt so alive I could fly. I am seeking to regain that part of me – update this inner system of mine.
Love,
Victoria
******
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“Check please!” I second that motion, lol! It’s weird, there are pockets of awake people here, and pockets that are asleep. No mask wearers mixed with mask wearers, or all mask wearers. It’s different from neighbor hood to neighborhood. Very strange!