had a dream last night i was going to get on a train and go Home. i went around to people here in my area with whom i feel a connection – families with children. i have felt a connection w/one of the members from one of the families from the moment i met him. one of those “i have known you before” connections. and interestingly enough i have seen him daily for the past few days after not seeing him for months. today’s encounter happened after i left the house after talking with my mate about his doctor’s visit today. as i said, my mind was numb. as i drove out of the driveway i knew i needed music to occupy me. i turned on the radio. Soul Asylum’s “run away train” was playing.
i felt the significance of the song. the lyrics “run away train never coming back….feels like i’m neither here nor there” were playing – those two lines really calling at me. i pounded the steering wheel, tears falling out of my eyes. we were supposed to be Home by now. healed. we weren’t supposed to do any more doctor visits. and ooooh so tired by the experience of being not altogether here – feeling between world’s. jesus…..all of these thoughts going through my mind.
so driving a few blocks i see him again. how is this possible, i thought. months of not seeing him to now daily? usually i will stop and talk but today i was too upset. as we drove by, he glances my way suddenly and smiles. i wave and keep going.
then i remembered the dream i had last night. as i said above i was gathering people around here to come with me and he and his family were in it. in the dream, i merely see him and he quietly followed me (he is normally the quiet type) and we went and got his children and his wife (whom i adore). to add to this significance, my girl and their boy have a connection i feel surpasses this realm. there is just something there. mama’s have that ability to feel such things. i just feel our two families are supposed to be together somehow.
so back to the dream. first we are packing. i realize i had packed very light. i am not even sure i had anything with me. the wife was concerned as well and i said “no worries. we’ll get what we need when we get there. in fact it may even be better than what we can get here!” she asked to drive and asked what direction we were going in. “the same direction where my grandparents used to live,” i said. this confused her so i pointed east (my grand parents used to live in eastern washington state – which is east from where i currently live).
so we get into this white van that is heading along train tracks. it rather morphed from a train to a private white van. we come to this archway of trees and oh my – it is so beautiful. the trees are alive – i mean really alive. and their branches suddenly turn into stained-glass type pieces of the most amazing colors i have yet to see here. i asked my friend to stop so i could take a picture – felt like one final picture. that seemed to cause a bit of impatience among the others. i heard (but did not see) my mate say “that’s just what she does. let her take a picture.”
so as i go to take a picture i realize my eyes could capture the colors far better than my camera – meaning i had my REAL eye sight turned on. so i dropped the camera on the ground, knowing i would not need it anymore.
so we started the white van back up and headed into the trees. then the dream ended.
so syncho’s w/trains….going home….and seeing our friend daily….something is up and preparing me……
for now i am ending this day with some tea and a cinnamon roll….
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v.
Let it be time!