Lisa Harrison ~ Deconstructing The Construct Ep #55

 

just got this one:  FOCUS ON YOUR INTERNAL MOVIE INSTEAD OF THE OUTER ONE.  ok then…..will do.

editor victoria’s note:  i am only 7 minutes in and already i am crying.  I CAN RELATE SO DEEPLY!   a very beautiful, painful, necessary listen.  for me that is.  i have been feeling as well – quite faintly/quietly – that big ME/ME’s are merging with me.  just this sense of merging.  and i have also been questioning my roles.  a few days ago, in the bathroom (where else?) i was frustrated with my child and the demands that go along with that and i was frustrated with my mate too and inside i was screaming THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.  i am not this role of mom and wife.  i am more than that.  i felt tremendous guilt and stuffed the experience away.  MUST STOP DOING THIS.  allow to understand and release and heal and BE.  anyway….i’m just going to share the comment i left on her page:  this morning i was bursting inside and what came out was impatience, frustration anger then disappointment (with my life and my choices) then this sadness of why can’t i just finally get this LOVE thing. why do i still cling to all of the damn stories? i keep coming back to this and now i am HEARING the questions instead of just the stories, if that makes sense. the mucus stuff OMG coughing up mucus – i have been doing that off and on for 2-3 years! began in my mouth in 2015. when i tuned in i was guided to speak words of love to release. yeah i am a S L O W learner because here i still am with the same symptoms. one day recently i sat at the table hacking away and my girl said “mom you are purging a lot of emotions now.” maybe the dying matrix is trying to remain intact by triggering our own programs to keep going. still grasping that all is a program. i know i am letting myself be triggered now. my question now: how do i be in that place of love knowing what i know – and most especially while still being here (when home is so longed for).i did begin to do the Hoʻoponopono prayer the past week – guided to do so – very effective in all of this esp. forgiveness of self. thank you for this one.

Published on Dec 12, 2018

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.