Listening – truly listening – and hearing – and meeting someone where they are goes a long way: Checking in and some finds including that dang anomaly is back yet again ~ ~ 5.27.24

 

 

 

Today I spent some time sleuthing – for housing opportunities.  I’m always open to and calling in and holding that space in my heart that there are GOOD people out there who are prosperous and who are motivated by KINDNESS instead of money.  Even after all this time of searching and looking – I still believe that.  I know it.  It’s something I hold in my heart.  I say the words to others who say otherwise.  So….. Universe – time to comply.

Until that moment shows up, it is as it is and I am where I am/we are where we are.  In the search today I typed in the current affordability number – for my entire state I found 3 that aligns with our income and needs.

T H R E E.

And none were livable homes but instead storage units or spaces in which to place your home.

I look at people I know who have had help getting where they are.  I have seen it myself – in the end we rescue ourselves, but no one makes it alone.  No. One.

Some seem to forget that.

My circle that is changing – the more I stand firm in my boundaries – the more I say with full authority:  this is what I need (and that I’m a package deal here – I have a child – if you see me you see her too.  And vice versa too.  No deals on that one).  Those who respect me – truly care – have heard – have listened.

Those are the keepers.  💖

Moving on………..trauma.

Oooh boy, is that a loaded word.  A lot of talk about it – most don’t know what the frig they are talking about when they do – including the “experts”.

Currently, I am looking at the spaces in my body – what is going on when I feel stuck – frozen – what thoughts are showing up.  I’m telling myself all sorts of phrases – statements.  Then something will happen – something to trigger something still stored in my body – and the flooding happens usually leading to frozen.

That is the nature of working through trauma.

I don’t like it – I wish it were easier – quicker indeed – but that’s how “they” designed these bodies.  I went the “cognitive approach” when I first faced a big phobia.  I faced that fear – but only using my mind – slowly bit by bit – while completely ignoring my body.  BIG MISTAKE.  But the woman I was seeing at the time told me this was the way out of the phobia/fear/trauma response.

W R O N G.

So I faced that fear – every day – for a few months – growing more comfortable and stronger overtime.

I was convinced the fear was gone from my mind – gone from my entire body/experience.

W R O N G.

One day, while in a similar visual situation only in a different geographical area AND a different time of day, the panic came in suddenly and in full force.  B I G emotions leaving me shaking and sweating quite profusely (normally i glisten lol).  I resisted at first.  Did my best to stay neutral.  Munched on carrots, turned on the a/c.  Nothing was working.  So….I then finally just succumbed to it.  The defeat I felt after that was overwhelming at first.  It’s like working diligently with your entire mind heart and Soul on building your perfect dream home – listening to the advice of an alleged home builder expert – only to realize one day your foundation was all wrong and you would have to tear down the entire house and start again – only this time on your own.  And when you ask the “expert” what went wrong they simply shrug their shoulders and blow you off.

I spent many years after that asking “mental health experts” including those who used the phrase “trauma expert” in their bio asking what I did wrong.  Why did this panic episode return when I had already faced the fear.  Again, all I received was the “I don’t know” response.

It wasn’t until this past year I was told the following:  You did not include your body in this work.  The trauma energies are not stored in your mind – they are in your body.  To heal you must respect your body first and foremost – listen to it – it will guide you – then using your mind and somatic tools and cognitive talk can you release and heal it.  (relief – but frustration as it would have been nice to have been told that 25 f’ing years ago)

I am seeing what the experts in this field say is true:  The Brain Follows The Body.  When it comes to trauma – absofinglutely.  That cycle can be stopped – slowed down – once you are able to get yourself out of flood (or for me mostly it’s frozen).  It’s a process – and it’s a lot of f’ing work – made more challenging under certain conditions.

But it’s doable.  Possible.

And I am a possibility in bloom.

Here’s what I’m seeing.

Love,

V.

******

 

 

I still try and trend things like #ENDTHEFINGMOVIE…..

 

 

On my quiet walk tonight – just me and my thoughts – I thought about this one – and other happenings – and go by what my heart speaks to me:  this reality being spoken of – the public arrests and all of that – the currencies – the maga stuff – none of it resonates with me.  I mean none. of. it.  And knowing I am not alone in this just tells me yet again that this creation on that part of the timeline isn’t for me.  My reality will be different.  Our reality will be different.  As always – I follow to see how close we are to the end of that “movie”.

 

 

 

 

It is absolutely absurd.  Nothing I consent to.  I am ready to have full control of my reality – and for it to happen quickly and easily.  The way I know it is supposed to.  (that’s why “they” throw traumatic situations at us – it creates a conflicting energetic situation in the human energy field – something “they” also know as well – oooooooooooh i am seeing it all now clearer and clearer)

 

 

Some useful/benefits us all in tangible way “goodies”, right?

 

 

 

Hitchcock is probably beyond saying “dang!  why didn’t i do a movie about this?”

 

 

i have a wooden thingie for drizzling – which i keep forgetting to use……..

 

and ladies and gentleman, here it is – again:

 

 

 

 

 

JUST IN: United Plane Engine Catches Fire Just Before Takeoff at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport (VIDEO)

 

Mike Tyson Suffers Medical Emergency on Plane Ahead of Jake Paul Fight

 

 

I actually lived in the same town he did for awhile.  My friends and I would ride past his house – hoping to stop him.  We never did.  He was one amazing center.  Loved it when the Blazers took the championship in 1977 – one of my best childhood memories.  I’ve spoken of it here before – the entire state went wild.  I remember going into town to get ice cream – people honking, hooting and hollering.  Warm and sunny.  Sweet memory.  See below for some fun highlights.

JUST IN: Legendary NBA Player Bill Walton Dead at 71

 

******

  🙏

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.