New levels of U G H

 

so…..i get up and do the usual……….

i check headlines…..same chaotic nonsense

the schumann…..yeah it has spiked.  again.  so what?  we’re still HERE.

new messages from this alleged narrative of “Home”.  “soon”.  “awhile.”

so frigging what?

try something new, i am told…………..lolololol

NEW?

really??!!

i have no CONCEPT of what is “new” here.  been there done that D O N E.

i have been thinking outside of this matrix box for over 20 damn years.

i have asked for help with a variety of things…..promotion….increasing my income….$$ help for the work I do…..

today i feel completely fully utterly used, abused, tattered, stripped apart, spent and quite DONE.

DONE.  fully totally DONE.

i have no more “answers” for myself.

deep breaths…………..self talk………..tapping…..meditation………playing music………holding on to faith and hope…….visualizing…….blah blah frigging BLAH

all of it – TEMPORARY cover-ups for the truth:

i am alone here.  i always have been.  i don’t fit in.  i never have.  i have never authentically felt comfortable in my own skin here.  who i am and what i desire for myself – you know – that right to create my own experience freely – just ain’t happening.

so……….more hurry up and wait?  soon?  awhile?

today this provides me absolutely no comfort.  the only thing that does is my bed with the covers thrown over me.  i would rather “wait” there instead of doing this daily nonsense i have been doing.

over and out.

love,

v.

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator.

5 thoughts on “New levels of U G H”

  1. you know…I’ve been feeling this exact way for more than 20+ years. I can’t say any more than you just did that would be any different. Only that you aren’t alone…neither am I…but it doesn’t really help one bit to hear it and for that I’m more sorry than you know. We lightworkers/ warriors, first everythingers are spread far and wide for specific reason(s) which only serves to isolate us and make us feel we’re alone. I feel all of what you wrote here, pretty much every day of this life I came here to live/ experience. Gotta say enough already. I’m tired. Soul tired. Well, just know I’m with you, and all the awake and aware others out there as well. Keep on keepin’ on Victoria. What else can we do.Namaste .

  2. I’m with you all too. My husband plans on retiring this year and yesterday he came home from work and declared he was so done with his job and can’t wait to retire. I told him that is exactly what all of us keep saying about the 3d realm. Enough already!!!! Time to move on. And enjoy life once again.

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