Questioning all of the narratives

 

Nothing makes sense to me atm.

A growing feeling.

Came in HARD last night after watching a movie – Phenomenon.

An example of how we’re supposed to be.

This is a movie that has personal references for me so there’s that as well – wanting those connections – wanting someone – others – who would “buy my chairs” as I called it at the time I first saw the movie.

The narratives.  There are many.

Control is an illusion – but then we’re told “you only control yourself – your thoughts, your choices, your behaviors”.

Paradoxical b.s.

None of these “big” guru types talk about the matrix or the simulation or the idea that there are invisible (to us w/our human eyes – well to most – some see them) enemies who come in for the attack.  Nor to they talk about tech like the voice of god which is designed to target individuals and plant thoughts.  And do any of them talk about the mind control victims (i.e. school shooters)?

Nope.

I pause and do a small “ha ha”.  That’s why my voice has such a tiny audience.  No way in this place would my words EVER have given me a New York Times Bestseller voice.

The truth is inconvenient.  We’ve all run from it.  But I have gathered enough OOMPH within me to let it have a voice and I want to KNOW the truth.

I don’t want to be told what I CAN or CANNOT handle.

I certainly do NOT want to be told things are going so slow as to ensure as many people awaken – not when the result of that is a mass level of suffering among those of us who took the time to KNOW and SEE.  Don’t you all think now – what was the point OF knowing and seeing?  Was it just a massive psyop to see if we would listen to prompts and nudges and listen to the desire to know the truth of this place?

I want to know what’s truly going on.  I want to know when this new earth/world/system/whatever is going to manifest.  I want to know how much power we each have in bringing it in.

I want to know just exactly WHAT is this Higher Self.  Can I even feel that part of me?  Is it separate?  Is there just a tiny piece of that HS within me?  If so – where is the rest and wth is it doing?  It sure doesn’t seem to be working for me given how much I call her in and ask for what I need – you know me – the human – here – with needs – many unmet?

Yeah, that one.

Just for once – I want to SEE some of these words expressed – the vulnerability allowed to come out – for others to start saying “I don’t know where we are or who we are or when we are.  I don’t know exactly what is going on.”

But SOMEONE does because we see things moving – events happening – all of these celestial happenings (WHO controls THOSE?!).

Seriously – others ARE controlling this reality and for craps sake if it IS our Higher Selves than they need to TELL US.  Give us some g.d. GUIDANCE.  LISTEN to our words.  GUIDE us as to how to dismantle it – let us know what we here can do to help.  Listen to the words of my girl and I – as we speak them, write then down, send the out – every g.d. day.

For now – this place feels sad and traumatizing.  That’s the other piece – that I have mentioned here before but I will again – anyone who says it “had to be this way” needs to show us now WHY.  If THEY can know the truth then so. can. we.  What makes them more special or capable mentally?  Hmmm?  Anyone?

Trust the plan.

SHOW US THE PLAN.

I get war and military ops.

But give. us. something. tangible.

At the very least bring help to those of us asking for it and needing it.

Bring about some miracles.

No different than someone saying, “I am going to be doing a lot of things on your yard and house that you can’t see – and you cannot stop me from doing these things – but you just have to trust me – this person(s) you don’t know – you just need to trust me I know what I’m doing and in the end it will be beautiful.”

But for now – hold on – it’s going to get rocky and difficult as fuch and you may experience a lot of trauma (on top of what you already had) – so just pray to Jesus/God and know they have your back.

I’m seeing too many suffer.  Too g.d. many.  Too many needing help yesterday or last year and not getting it.  Financial peril.  Health (mental emotional physical) issues.  WE NEED HELP AND WE NEED IT NOW.  On OUR timeline – OUR watch – NOW.  Not when someone else says so.  If this plan is so Divine – there absolutely can be help brought in to alleviate this unnecessary suffering too many are going through.  We aren’t learning a g.d. thing.  LOVE EXPANDS.  Trauma harms.

PERIOD.

So let’s bring these intentions in NOW.

Not when some best-selling guru who only gives a wee bit of advice and conveniently ignores the rest tells us to just change our thoughts and everything will be ok.

Not in a spiritual war.  The thoughts allow us to KEEP GOING.  But they don’t stop the attacks.  They don’t stop the trauma.  Asserting your boundaries does not work against someone or something that has no intention of honoring your words.  And these b.s. attacks can come in at any time.  I don’t know ANYONE who can keep up an armor 24/7 – plus some are more targeted than others – especially those with the brightest light – the biggest hearts – those who are the most trusting AND seeing/sensitive.

That is all for now.  Ending this one with a deep f’ing sigh of extreme frustration and sadness.

💖🙏💖