It was quite the day for me. I got triggered by something that was said to me in a private conversation. This person was very upset by something I had shared on social media. It was my recent experience with the medical system. I was not attacking all within it – I was calling out those with whom I have had direct contact.
Well unfortunately the individual personalized it and came out swinging verbally. This is a family member, I should add, and while the behavior didn’t surprise me, the brunt of it caught me off guard. And I felt the hurt.
I responded ~ after considering not to. Was that the best choice? I don’t know. Life is a shit gamble at times and I felt a stronger need to protect my space and self than I did to just let it go.
Without going further, I will just say that I was able to respond without trembling hands and with little emotion so that was a good thing. I will also say it did not have a happy ending. I am willing to continue the conversation as long as there is respect and a listening ear. Standstill on that one.
I felt out this experience throughout the day. I cried. I got angry. I heard that small child voice within speak. I listened. Supported. Comforted. I grabbed some chocolate and headed to the neighbor’s house who has adopted our family, adding me in as his adopted daughter.
I needed a daddy figure ~ in that moment ~ someone to say I am so sorry you got bullied sweetie. I will make it all better.
Yes, I am, well, over 40 and can comfort myself. But given I have more or less had to comfort myself over the years when faced with the mean ‘ole bully types, including throughout my childhood, I really suddenly wanted someone to just comfort me. A daddy figure. Someone strong and powerful to make it all better.
So I was welcomed in. We talked. He said he was sorry for my experience and wanted to then analyze this person psychologically. Well given I have already spent enough time over the years doing that, I was not interested in that AT ALL. So at that, I thanked him and headed home. I walked inside, sat on the couch and was still and quiet. Tears began to flow. My mate walked in from outside, looked down at me, quietly sat down and placed his arms around me.
That was all I needed.
After that, I bounced back, for the most part. I reflected on life.
A lot.
I looked online for pieces to share here.
None of it really felt relevant to me.
The politics.
The various opinions on ascension and new earth.
Waiting for something to happen.
Insights on how to get to x y z.
None of it resonating.
All that I desire now is love, peace and freedom in a way that I can only describe as Silently Now.
Without the drama or steps to take or hills to climb.
I just want to BE in that space without anyone putting in their interference.
And I could not find any articles on that so I am sharing this one.
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Victoria
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Thank you for supporting this little piece of work I create ~ for whatever is really happening “out there” and in “here”.
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