I was all set to post a piece on some additional challenges I faced this week. But I hesitated. Why do that? Why make that the focus?
Why not instead present myself as the Healed Woman I am creating instead of just the pained woman?
I pondered that as I did the dishes. I then began asking my Higher Self some questions, which included asking her why she didn’t speak to me earlier in the day regarding a situation I ended up wasting almost two hours of my time on. Without going into much detail, I thought my local co-op had been ripping me off, not giving me my fair owner day discount. I checked my figures three times on the receipt and concurred there had indeed been an error. This particular co-op has gone very corporate in the past couple of years so the original spirit of a community-owned store is almost non-existent and it’s sad. I’ve been shopping there for 20 years.
Anyway, upon visiting the store again I was told that owner day discounts do not apply to sales items. A policy created awhile ago. I as an owner had not been informed of this. (As I said, it’s a corporate environment now.)
So while my math was spot-on, I had not taken into account all of the items I bought on sale, thus throwing off the discount.
Ok Higher Self, I said, hands in soapy water, Why didn’t you notify me of this error? I wasted a fair bit of time on this when I could have been doing something enjoyable.
She spoke. Here is what she said (translating feeling energies into words as best as I can): “I would have but you would not have heard me, so I simply observed. You were wrapped up in your head. I speak to you through your heart space and as you sat there, grumbling and punching in numbers, going on about corporate this and corporate that and money this and money that, even if I were to of spoken, you would not have heard my voice.”
Talk about taking my ego down a few notches.
You’re right, I said matter-of-factly.
And earlier in the day I had received an e-mail on being in the heart-space. As much as we can. Good reminders.
This week I was not very much in my heart-space. Some of my social visits were a challenge with one being particularly painful. When I feel I am not able to make an emotional connection with someone or feel judged or put aside, my heart shuts down and out come the chattering monkey’s with their judgments.
So as I pondered both what my Higher Self spoke and on the words of the e-mail, I took a deep breath. How can I change this? Hmmm….
How about we do something different, I told myself. How about when we do have such a situation arise with another, instead of focusing on the critical thoughts and stories, we find just ONE positive trait about the person. Put the energy into that activity instead.
Well now, that could work.
So tonight as I headed out, my heart was softer again, more open. I ran into a neighbor who, much like my own family, is struggling financially. We commiserated for a bit, not to just gripe but to really share our pain. We spoke of how draining it can be to wonder how am I going to make it through this month? We spoke of the inequalities in wealth distribution and why on earth if this system has forced us into boxes saying “you make this amount and you make that amount” ~ but then says we must all pay the same price goods and services. (I have never understood that one ~ although I could say I do today given I know the system has done this intentionally to make those who do struggle the most to add in that extra sense of guilt, shame and embarrassment while feeding the rugged individualist’s equally programmed thoughts of how “better” they are than those at the bottom. Such a waste of time – all of it!)
So….We left one another, each sending the other a blessing of love and abundance, from the heart. It was a beautiful exchange.
I sensed the energy shifting again ~ all due to my own change in self-talk and perception. I felt that if I hadn’t shifted my perception earlier, I would not have had this encounter and exchange with my girlfriend.
After I arrived home, I noticed a text from another friend, saying she had been thinking of me and how much she appreciated my compassion and loyalty.
Well that put up my heart energies another few notches and I wept as I read her words, writing her back, thanking her, telling her what her words meant to me.
All of these episodes of pain and the stories we tell ourselves about them…
Brings out both pain and laughter in me.
Mostly though, to be honest, I am most grateful for my ego who surrendered to listen to the wisdom of Higher Self. And for the idea some other part of me presented as a means of alleviating the pain I experience when being in a challenging/conflicting situation: Find One Thing Positive about the person.
Even if it’s just “they have nice teeth”. lol
It is the energy that matters. The focus in finding something positive – moves me higher up the vibe frequency scale. Serves myself. And serves the other (whether they know it or not).
And isn’t that what Higher Consciousness Being is about?
Blessings to you all and to all of the pieces that make up who you are. ♥
Victoria
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