Sign of these times…..8.21.23

 

Our area is one of the safer ‘hoods here.  We know that and are thankful for it.  Tonight, a fleet of police cars showed up just a couple of blocks away – one at a time.  We could hear a woman shouting – expletives and “shut up!” were heard.  It was dusk so it was difficult to make things out in detail (well for my aging eyes that is).  She was pushing a cart of some sort – carrying her belongings.  Likely all of them.  Something was said about needing to shower.  While we didn’t get the details, it was likely she was knocking on doors demanding to take a shower.  In the end, the police let her go.  She wandered off up the hill, pushing her cart, still yelling at no one in particular.

That is the best image and scene I can share that sums up the blight of this realm.  Pay to live.  Competition.  Survival of the fittest (Darwin was a sell out arsehat – but he was right in a way).  Too much dayem untreated trauma.  And lack of Love.  Lack of NEEDS.

I’m sitting here wondering how much longer this place continues.  It something doesn’t switch, most of society is going to be that woman (or man).  She could be anyone.  As I told my girl that is the result of this reality we live in – and none of us would seek to trade places and most just watch the show, shut their doors and return to their doings.  How many go within and think about this woman.  What is her story?  And most importantly:  WHY and what can be done.

Do we wait on this plan?

Do we organize locally and kick out local government who has allowed all of this to happen?

If so – what then?

Force treatment?

And what kind of treatment?

Drugs?  (guinea pig theory – let’s try this, no let’s try that)

There are people doing some good work with real healing – but man do they charge a f’ing lot of money.  One woman – to speak with her one on one for one session was almost 900 f’ing u.s. dollars.

W T F?

Must be nice to consider yourself at such a high caliber you only reserve your time for the most financially privileged.

Ef the rest, right?

But isn’t that how it is here?

All of these allegedly open, progressive types who so want to help heal the world turn around and make sure most OF the world can’t afford their services.

Sliding scale fees anyone?

Hmm?

So what about this woman?

She just going to become a statistic?

I sigh.

I feel sadness.

And I remember what I felt at the store tonight – after I walked outside into the parking lot.  The store was crowded (even though I went at an hour that is usually very quiet).  I had 5 people suddenly in line in back of me and a guy in front of me with a ton of stuff.  Music was loud.  Lights – way too bright (these stores could save a lot of $$ if they would cut their lights to 50% – I’ve seen it done a couple of times over the years when there is a power outage and they turn on back-up generators – 50% light use – it’s wonderful on the eyes and senses of the most sensitive of us).  I felt it – overwhelm setting in.  So I did my stuff that I do (which is a challenge when you’re trying to pay attention to your items being rung up, answer questions from the clerk and help show your child how to bag the food).  I got through it.  But folks, I ain’t gonna pretend.  My trauma brain is borderline fried.  Tapped out.  When I walked to the car, I leaned into it – enjoying the few moments of solitude while my girl took the cart back inside.  I took some breaths – looked up at the sky.  “How on earth am I ever going to be able to function out in the world again normally?”

I don’t know.

Things continue as they are without an end – that flip/switch – well that ain’t gonna happen.

Just like it ain’t gonna happen for this poor lost soul just wanting a shower.

Love,

Victoria