The energy of frustration………..

 

Bangin’ my head against a wall too.

Deep breathe, Victoria.  Then keep on reaching out and asking/seeking….

Until someone says to “pray”.

WHAT?

PRAY?!

lololol

Trigger word for me.  Why?

What an ASSUMPTIVE thing to say.

PRAY?

I am seeking HELP with my fundraiser as I am still focused on saving money to move – and at this point I’m focused on getting as much as I can to put down 1-2 years rent on a nice home in that quiet, rural area.  Given the mind-boggling sticker shock of housing now, and how crazy this petri dish is now and I haven’t a clue how much longer this is all allowed to play out, I’m looking to get enough money for that amount of time.  PERIOD.  I don’t need advice.  I don’t need to be told what to do.  I know what to do.  And I am seeking help.

I checked out another idea on making money from home.  But guess what?  They pay through PAYPAL.  No other way (unless you want to use your income for store credit which I DO NOT).

So until I actually experience an open door that I am intending to manifest (THROUGH PRAYER….and intending and visualizing), I’m doing what I’m doing.  This is not just about myself or my mate – obviously – it’s about our child.  And she wants children to play with IN PERSON.  She wants activities that don’t require her to show proof of jab or mask up.  I have been looking for activities for her locally for the summer.  For a city this size, the pickings are pathetic.  No dance classes.  No singing.  I contacted the local athetic club – all they are offering is basketball camps.

I GET we are getting (allegedly) pulled away from this system.  But being pushed out altogether without anything NEW incoming is just too painful now – especially for my girl.  I see what this has done to her – the emotional harm, affecting her development.  So this is mama bear SCREAMING for help now.  If you are skilled at marketing and promoting fundraisers, let me know.  I’ve been asking for/seeking assistance in marketing this website off and on for 5 f’ing years and have fallen flat on that one.

Ugh.  If one more person tells me to just pray (to whatever – god/one/eve, etc.) I am gonna send back some nasty energy in return.  We are supposed to be SUPPORTING one another.  And telling someone what to do – especially to pray (OMG) – when they have clearly stated what they need – is not supportive.  It’s the epitomy of laziness.  Metaphor time:  you see a homeless person asking for help and you tell him or her to pray.  As Sister D says:  Fuch that sheot.

I apologize if my triggered response is upsetting.  I have good reason for this trigger – especially at this point in this experience.

Jesus – are there any real humans left now – other than just the small group of you who are already wonderful and supportive and I hold you all in deep gratitude every day.  Without you, I don’t know where my mind would be.

Love,

Victoria

p.s. ~ Thought I would share something I woke up hearing:  “IT IS NOW Q TIME”.  Then I say the brackets and parenthesis they use.  We’ll see………

******

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