Thoughts On Consideration

 

I have resisted writing about this one the past few days as I have been focused intently on forgiveness, acceptance and letting it go.  But this involves my little girl and right now she is back in her bedroom, crying, speaking about all of the things she has missed this week because of one act of inconsideration.  A few days ago she was invited to a friend’s house to play. Unbeknownst to us, her friend’s dad was sick.  Once I learned that (after we had already entered the house and stayed awhile), I said “no” to playing over there.

The next day my girl woke up vomiting and has been sick with a virus since.

I was upset.  Very upset.  Any parent knows when a child gets sick, the schedule for everyone gets thrown off to some degree ~ often the mama. We had numerous activities planned for this week and had to cancel every one of them.  Two of the activities centered around my girl and other friends, including baking cookies at a friends house ~ which she had been looking forward to for over a week.

I shared my frustration with my girl’s friend’s mother ~ saying in the future if any of them are sick, tell us before inviting my girl or any of us over.

I couldn’t believe I would even have to say such a thing.  Isn’t this common consideration?

And yet, I have had to do this twice this year with parents.  The previous time the parent sent their child to our house to play and after a bit, I noticed the boy coughing abnormally.  I texted the dad and asked if his boy was sick.  The reply?  “I don’t know, maybe.  Why?”

I was quite dumbfounded.  I don’t know.  Maybe.  What kind of a response is that?  Anyway, turns out the boy was sick, the dad has suspected it but sent him to our house anyway, and within 24 hours, my girl was sick.

Most parents shrug off stuff like this.  Kids get sick.  I get that.  But what I do not “get” is when my girl is exposed to others who are knowingly sick and we are not informed of it.  Inform me, as the parent, so I can make a fully aware choice as to whether I wish to risk exposing my child.  My main job is to keep my girl safe and part of that is to keep her away from others who are knowingly sick.

Basic consideration.

The morning after my girl came down with this virus, her friend as previously mentioned along with her dad (the one who was sick), came over to our house, knowing our girl was sick and the girl proceeded to knock on the door.  It was pretty early in the morning too.  When we did not answer, she continued to knock and moments later began to pound on the door with both fist.  My mate then got out of bed to see what the hell was going on. Who does that?  And most obviously – what parent lets their child do that?  

As my mate looked out the window and ascertained who it was, he saw the girl then press repeatedly and quickly on our doorbell – over and over.  It now does not work.  The dad watched the whole thing and said nothing until finally he said “we’ll try again later” and took the girl home.

Again, I had to contact the parent and said their girl’s pounding on our door awoke my daughter.  One knock was sufficient.

Basic consideration.

I always communicate to other parents – others in general – when my girl is sick or any one of us is.  I request the same in return.

Basic consideration.

Yesterday afternoon we had a local group deliver us some food for a holiday meal (non-profit that helps those in need).  I answered the door, said my girl was sick, I did not want to expose them, so I would just receive the food at the door.  As I took the last bag of food, I thanked them for their kindness. They asked if they could come inside and bless the house.  I have learned I do not allow anyone to knowingly pray for me unless I know who they are and what their intentions are.  So I said “no thank you” and that I prefer to take care of the blessings of my home on my own.  That was not enough for them.  They said “well then can we at least come inside and pray FOR you?” Again, I said “No that is not necessary.  Let’s just wish one another blessings and a happy holiday.”

Basic consideration.

I cannot tell you how often these church-type groups use their working’s and doing’s to push their religious dogma on you.  Or assume you are a member of their cult, I mean church.  A few weeks ago we ran into a woman at the store.  She runs the local thrift store we visit.  The store supports the local food bank.  The woman asked if we had gone to see the nuns. Perplexed I said “Uh, no.  Are they putting on a concert?”  She then looked at me perplexed and said “Of course not they are getting consecrated.”

Oh my.  She assumed that because we visit the thrift store (which is open to the public), we were members of the Catholic Church.  I almost laughed but instead said we were not members of her church.  At that she ended the conversation and left.

Are we now seen in a new light in her eyes now?  I really wanted to say “your church is evil” and other things but I didn’t.  I have very strong “smart-ass” style to me at times.  Perhaps I need to employ it.

I continue to intend a new system ~ a new way of being and living where total transparency and authenticity are the backbone of interactions based on love.

Where humanity has expanded hearts and consciousness fully.

Where when someone offers to provide me or my family help there are no ulterior motives or agenda’s.

Where when I visit a place that is run by a church there is no assumption that I am a member (of it or any other christian-based church).

And where I can feel safe knowing I can bring my girl to someone’s house without having to ask “is anyone in the house sick?”