I’ve been practicing that technique – Gray Rock – whereby I stay neutral in situations I otherwise do not wish to be in. Chaos. Drama. While I appreciate the concept of it and see the benefits of it – when that’s all you do – when that’s all *I* do is remain neutral – I also ignore boundary violations taking place in my body. And unless I deal with those – they come back and make it clear.
“Tame the inner child.”
No – LISTEN to the inner child and then the inner child/voice becomes tame.
I think we’re doing it backwards here.
As someone recently said to me: “we aren’t rocks – we are HUMAN BEINGS”.
Absolutely.
When in close proximity to chaos, drama and/or anything you would otherwise choose NOT to be around – and you simply go neutral – what do you think is happening to the body? Where do you think those energies of the drama and chaos are going? Your body.
Empathy. If you are a human being, you are naturally empathic. Different levels of sensitivity? Yes. But to be human is also to FEEL.
Not only do I think we’re doing it backwards, but we’re also lying to ourselves. Going neutral (alone as a tool) is often no different than ignoring what is happening – you’re just making a more conscientious choice to not get involved. But if anyone thinks they can be in such a situation and not FEEEEEEL it – in your body – you’re either fooling yourself or you aren’t human.
Or you have some sort of advantaged DNA superpower that I and most of the rest of us humans here don’t yet have.
It’s no different than watching a movie with a sad scene.
Or watching a horrible accident.
Or being suddenly screamed at.
Or even watching those dang dog rescue commercials.
THEY ENVOKE AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE IN OUR BODIES.
And if the situation is sudden, unexpected, it can put the body in fight/flight/freeze mode – i.e. trauma/survive mode. And unless processed, that will stay in the body.
So maybe, after all, while going neutral IS absolutely a good tool to keep you from getting lost in a situation, maybe those rocks instead need to be used for throwing at whoever is violating your boundaries and not caring.
Some things to think about on this blustery Saturday afternoon.
Love,
V.
Re “I am a rock…I am an island…” the Simon & Garfunkel lyric…I know I’ve felt numb or dislocated from emotional reality. Until I pursued the deep acting work with a master teacher- I was unaware of being “in my head.”. [I am an intellectual at heart–so being in the head is a very easy place to be] Also, the personal development experience of a decade or so was also effective therapy for me–and exceeded any experience I’ve had with a psychologist or psychiatrist in the past. The acting training (and instrumental work in particular) with Eric Morris was evolutionary. Today while riding the bike on the former railroad (rails and tracks long removed) a young man ( a young 20-ish)rode head long straight for me while he was looking at his phone screen. I averted a collision by veering off the bike path. He barely acknowledged me and his limp apology was barely audible. That was the first event-Today- where I saw how out of touch people are with nature and the Now. The second event- only a few minutes later- was when I saw an Asian man walking (also young–maybe 28-30) looking at his screen. I decided to try to wake him up and as I rode by, I waved my arm in the air looking up at the trees and exclaimed, “NATURE!” Whether he decided to enjoy and experience his surroundings or went back to the screen I have no idea. But both of these men were not in the Now, and they were not connecting with nature. They were like a rock…and they weren’t aware of their surroundings whatsoever. I can try to tune out the heavy vibes–but I do see your point,i.e., we need to honor our feelings and our inner radar. We are receiving alerts and the warning signals because we are aware of our surroundings–and it’s not always pleasant.