I am going back and forth today between knowing when to stand my ground, how to go about it and when to just let go.
For awhile now my inner voice has guided “if it’s 3D stress, let it go.”
And yet I also tell myself “Ok, I am still here dealing with these system inconveniences. How much energy do I invest in them? Will I be able to just be released from all of their influence by creating my own timeline?”
That is my hope. My wish. My focus. Until it no longer is.
Today the system 3D evil was comcast. As I told the csr today “if I had a dollar for every time I have had to phone you and point out an error you have made, you would be paying me right now.”
Energy draining experience and yet if I wanted voice mail services, that is the choice I had to make. 45 minutes later, I had a credit and the words “voice mail” included once again in my phone service option (which was an error on their part – it was removed when it should not have been). There is more to it than I am sharing ~ they royally screwed up on more than just the removal of my voice mail services ~ and the issue is being investigated on their end.
And so it goes. The sun has returned after blasting rains and temperatures hovering around 48. My girl was gifted an awesome microscope. I am awaiting releasing a serious amount of anger energy tomorrow with my healing session.
I continue to speak my truth – out loud – and wonder if I am not digging deep enough for my voice continues to be raspy far too often. Could be my deepest desire for telepathic communication to be returned with speaking words done gently, softly, joyfully with people I choose to.
For now, I enjoy the sun and will create space to take a much needed nap.
Physical experiences: throat scratchies, itching on my sides, fatigue and an overwhelming tiredness accompanied with the words “I want the shit over and my freedom returned NOW”.
Freedom is, after all, more than just a state of mind. That is, however, where it begins.
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Victoria
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Psaume 16:05 fungo la posho
Psaume 23:the good sheperd.
Almost what I’m experiencin’ and My eyes witnessed day passed.My family members don’t want me around them again and I just feel such a pain in my all me,somehow hard to live this harsh time dealing or interactin’ with people all time.But I still feel much peace inside so I give a kind of shit about this negativity as I see it in such a way of nonsense thing that does not exist!It’s hard to live without seeking true life this time.It is really so hard,so much pressure but calmin down by carry on what I feel to be right is always my cup.I dont feel belonging here anymore,nothin’ from the outside clings to what I Am.Losing something or gain somethin does not mean much to myself.It is just a game of knowing life,nothin’ else matters NOW.
i keep hearing “let go of all that is out there”. go into the heart. there is still that part of me that wants so much to see justice for all of the suffering ~ it is such a solid part of who i am. is that who I AM or just who i am? both? i’m not sure – i’m not sure it matters. it is a feeling experience i have. and while i am still here in this realm i would like to see the control system end and freedom returned for ALL. either way it is coming. t/y for your words jan. 🙂