well it was a doozy today – for me at least. between the feelings of anxiety and heaviness and just overall BLECK – it was a good day to stay in bed and sleep.
i told myself it isn’t mine. it’s them – those who are crying out for their drug of choice – trapped – knowing it is the end. it’s quite pathetic to me – they are pathetic. sick. not human. and yet i hold sympathy for them – a deep sadness. so on one hand i think “they made their choice” and another i think “what a waste. what a sad waste of energy.” and the heaviness of them knowing it’s over. so today – having a struggle to feel ME and that was made more challenging in feeling an absolute sense of exhaustion.
being empathic sucks sometimes. it really truly stinks.
so i rested – and took a nap – which helped. but the exhaustion remains.
so i am just putting up a few things and who knows what i will do. stare at the fire. rock back and forth. feeling the strong need to comfort myself as i would a baby.
i admit i am struggling to find center in this and focus to make some sense of what’s going on. so many saying there is no virus – and yet i see people who are obviously sick with something going on – regular, normal people. in my city we now have 2 confirmed cases – both recovering. it’s hard to know what to trust when those who DO know what’s really going on are hush on it. there are the hints and clues but my inner truth radar isn’t working well today so i don’t have it in me to figure any of it out. so – not taking any chances – and remaining at home unless food is needed.
donations were down this month – which i understand. everyone is in the “hunker” down space – many have been laid off. if anyone can pass along a couple of dollars – that is always appreciated. we’ll get through this.
sending you all comfort, support and love.
love,
victoria
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Hi Sister,
I remember 2 years ago, we spoke about having similar lung infections. I had a slight fever and I had issues getting rid of it. This is no different except this was intended to be another insurance policy. Ain’t gonna happen
Love Love Love
i do. and we (s and i) talked about it the other night – how we probably actually had that 2 years ago. all 3 of us did. took weeks to get rid of the cough and for me i had to take fulvic acid at the end – cleared it out in 3 days. i feel you are spot on. 🙂