I was a bit surprised yesterday to see the Schumann and not feel the bliss I normally do. It’s like I had to search for it. The spiking continued into today and I have felt anything but bliss today. On top of being absolutely exhausted, I am feeling anger, impatience, frustration. In my “leave me the frig alone” space. Today if I could have teleported my body to a beach in Brazil I would have.
I belong to a few private groups and one, which is quite popular, pulled the censorship card today by banning a topic altogether. This is a group that seeks the truth and so far, a plethora of topics have been discussed. If I see one I’m interested in, I join in. If not, I scroll on past. Simple enough, right? It triggered me. Aren’t we after Truth? Aren’t we fed the fuck up with not being Free? What came out of me was NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT I CAN OR CANNOT SAY. No one.
Not a cool move and I for one will not be following it. If I get removed, so be it. What’s as surprising are the number of people who support the decision. I have noticed something kind of creepy about people who hit it big on the internet ~ they tend to create a cult-like group of followers who blindly obey whatever the master decides. I am witnessing this first hand.
People are people. No one is above another. I used to want to be big like Prescott or Walling. Not any more. I do not want the experience of anyone looking to ME to have their answers nor do I want anyone blindly agreeing with me. And I also don’t want anyone willing to allow me to put myself up on a pedestal and proclaim “You will do as I say”. If I do, tell me to eat some humble pie (w/the flaky crust ~ goes down easier for me).
On to another experience ~ the ongoing revealing of the human trafficking, especially the children. This has to be the biggest, most awful, most difficult red pill to swallow. One tiny bit at a time. The pandora’s box was opened and I can feel some of that filth, that heavy slimy energy. I can feel some of the rage these beautiful people are being allowed to fully feel now that some of them are being freed. And it also brings up the experiences I have had when I have been abused by others claiming the “power over” behavior.
There are no words. All I can think, over and over, is “they’re children. They’re our babies. We are supposed to be PROTECTING them.” I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. I never will get it. As my mate and I did a release tonight together to end this practice now, I about passed out from the intensity that came through and out of me. You know the saying. If looks could kill. Yeah…
For now, I wish for some UNINTERRUPTED time ~ just me. No other voices. No demands. No one asking me questions or saying I need to do this or that. My inner ME still has quite a bit of things she wishes to say to me. And given after many years of attempting to train myself to be fully in alignment with Who I Am ~ even when around other people ~ when I get to that space of quiet, all it takes is one word or noise to pull me out.
Someone once said to me “No one lives in a bubble.”
Today, with all that is going on “out there”, that sounds quite pleasant.
Funny I have a friend who is major struggling right now (who isnt??)
And in the past texts me her rants and looks to me for my advice.
I have withdrawn my energy so that she learns to stand in her own Divine power. She is not pleased. It is a fine between empathy and enabling sometimes. I told her the well has run dry….I have absolutely no energy for anyone except myself and the dogs, who ask for nothing in return. Btw, saw an article about adrenal fatigue and empaths. With Honor and Reverence. FD