I hurt. My heart hurts. It is hurting DEEPLY. Not just for myself – but for my girl – whom I feel I have failed. I don’t blame her for holding that grudge against me – and I understand her view of the world – which is that people don’t care – even though every night we pray together and I remind her there are angels here – good people and I point out those who have shown up.
That kiddo has had so many people – adults – who should know better – promise things that they fail to deliver on. No one texts her or calls her. She sees me working myself into collapse (which I believe I hit today) trying to better my life – all but begging – feeling like a whore to be honest – PLEASE help me – support my work donate if you have employment.
SOMEONE HELP ME IN THE WAY I NEED.
Jesus – she sees it. A few care – but if this page is getting the views google, etc. is telling me – the vast majority come here – read my material and move on as though I’m just a piece of paper.
I know my value and I know my worth. I’ve been claiming that more and more for a year now. I no longer hold myself solely accountable for my experience now. I hold this entire stinking reality with the inhabitants of half humans and fake humans who could do better but don’t. Who offer and promise but fail to deliver.
So for those who do see and help – you are angels. The rest?
U G H.
I am not just a citizen journalist – I am a person – with needs – who is deeply focused on healing, battling demons – the ones unseen who seems to find their way to me through some really crappy people and situations. Who more than anything else wants to change her life experience – to show my girl I DID IT and that there is something out there to Trust that aligns with the inner feeeeeels and delivers those miracles requested and received within.
Expanding on that – citizen journalist – for those who don’t know – I am a ONE WOMAN show here. I am not controlled by advertisers or corporate sponsors and the like. No boss telling me what news to share or how to spin it. It is just me. Truth seeker V who uses my intuition to guide me and put together this complex puzzle, finding markers – just as I have been doing for the past Eight Years. Most other websites who share headlines, etc. don’t do this. That’s what makes my work so unique. As such – the only bias you will find here is through my own filters. No one else’s. Do you appreciate that and find value in it? Then I need to see it.
(must be a collective experience – others feeling that same level of rage/anger/sadness coming in today – i was told it isn’t mine – but i know it is. anger/rage/sadness over my experience here and how i feel in it. feeling forgotten. always having to battle to find room for myself at this life table – used to taking scraps but still not liking it and still claim my right to the main course. anyone telling me it’s my thoughts i have this to say – your thoughts pure 24/7? your thoughts in alignment 24/7? no one but me knows what i think – and given “their” hijack of our brain that keeps our subconscious thoughts at the alleged operating wheel where we are not even able to hear unless someone outside of ourselves taps into it with one of their give me $200 methods to unlock your subconscious…….. you get what i’m saying. the truth is not every method works for every person. we don’t know WHERE we are much less WHO we are or even WHEN we are. and we don’t know how the Universe works – no one does. you say it’s energy you say it’s thoughts you say no it’s feelings and frequency. NONE OF US KNOW because we’ve had a frigging MIND WIPE of all past experiences. people only theorize based on what works for them – and then have the audacity and arrogance to say if it works for me it will work for you as well – and if it doesn’t they say you ain’t doing it right. all of these games and rules and alleged laws are nothing more than PROGRAMS inside of this simulated reality and all we can do is be kind to one another and ourselves and if someone is hurting, jesus, just offer up some loving kindness.)
That’s all I have to give for now.
Victoria
