Today’s Purge ~ Disappointment

 

This has been a very rough week for me, things I do not speak of here, but still have an impact on me.  Some days quite profoundly.  This past week I have had someone offer to make me dinner as a gesture of kindness then forgot and blew me off.  I have asked for assistance/help of several people and have been blown off.

I am not saying that this applies to me or that I intend this to be my path, but I “get” why people give up, why some die of heartbreak and disappointment.  I get it.

But that is not me.  I am far too damn stubborn and aware of how amazing I am.  (not better than ~ i just know my own worth)

This enslavement system turns us all into lower life forms in one way or another.  I get that.

But that is no excuse.

LOVE HELPS.

It is time we begin BEING these Higher Dimensional Selves isn’t it?

I get what money does.  I get how it limits us in our choices.  If I had the income I seek desire and deserve, my life would look a lot different.  It would free me up greatly to do those things I need and desire to do NOW.  Not this “some day” when there MAY be financial liberation for us all or “some day” when this energy wave may sweep over this realm or whatever it is we are existing in (because not one of us knows for sure), liberating us.

It is a very chauvinistic world.  I have several hillary supporting left leaning “friends” who go to those damn rallies that speak of respect and freedom for women and yet who don’t do a god damn thing for me and those things I struggle with.  Friends?  Ha.  Not any longer.  Not after what I finally called them on today.

Chauvinism.  What I provide ~ what I do ~ has no $$ value in the world. That is not MY perception ~ it is the reality of this system.  We have a neighbor for whom my mate works for on occasion.  Yard work. Mowing.  Pruning. Edging.  Will this neighbor let me perform the work?  No. He wants my mate to do it because he’s a man.  But when I cook him a meal, will he pay me?  No.  (that’s why recently I cut off the gravy train ~ he wants my food he pays for it)

Most people don’t want to talk about this stuff.  It’s easier to offer up some pretty words than it is to step up, point out the elephant in the room, do what’s uncomfortable or inconvenient and actually help out a fellow brother or sister.

And I for one am DONE with the fakeness of people.  And in myself.

Walk the talk.  You.  Me.

For now, I face my own crap, my disappointment.  I hear the words in my head ~ the fear based talk ~ of fearing someone reading these words and judging me or criticizing.  You know what though?  Go ahead.  I have the power to delete ~ which I do at will these days.  (wish I could do that in the face to face conversations…i would be muting often)

If it ain’t spoken or shared in Love ~ if it isn’t words of support ~ if it isn’t one who hears and responds in kind ~ and if it isn’t one who asks what do I need (instead of assuming they know what is best) ~ I am not having it.

I wish to be the best version of Me.

It is time we all “ascend” into our highest version of ourselves.

No waiting.

We do the right thing even if everyone else screams “you can’t do that!”

We give the finger to the rules of this broken disgusting shit pit of a system and say “I see you but I am choosing to do this instead.”

We take back our beautiful amazing power and we live/be/do it NOW….not some day when…

We all deserve the freedom to be/live/do without restriction NOW!

Spoken with a shaky voice but solid in knowing this is how I deeply truly eternally feel~

Victoria