still carrying – feeling – the same experience as yesterday. i thought hmmm maybe if i open myself to channeling someone, more will show interest in this page and throw some money my way. perhaps if i turn this into a pay/subscribe only site, i will experience the same result.
but that’s not me. but i am still left with the same feeling of sadness and neglect. kind words and the like do not pay my bills. i log 40 hours a week on this site and i am paid less than a slave laborer in china.
yes i know this site is fulfilling a purpose. and yet again, feeding that heart-based need doesn’t put the food on the table i am now needing to do nor does it buy my girl the pair of tennis shoes she is now needing – or replace the bicycle wheel on her bike.
so for now i am putting my focus on more practical pursuits – the kind that actually pay me for my service. oooh how overly done i am in sharing my gifts for free. i have done it with my music and writing for years. I am valuable. i am worthy.
and what i do has value and has the same right as all else who provide valuable services to receive regular energy exchange in the form of monetary compensation. i know this current system doesn’t provide that the way it could – and needs to – so it is up to me to make this happen – just as it has been all along. and yet i can’t do it alone either. i need support and i am not receiving it in the ways i need.
a couple of last minute tidbits – last night’s dream i was seeing and saying the words “razzle dazzle frazzle bazzle”. lol not sure what this means other than it does seem to resonate with my inner state of “Screw this – what do I do NOW?!” …. there continues to be (a growing number of) people saying october event. many are starting to dream of it and are seeing much of what i saw in early 2017. some are seeing all line up as they saw in dreams of previous months. i just know something has to give because the pressure has built up inside of me to JET – to experience NEW. for now, i am enjoying the day at the park with my girl – finding my joy in that.
love,
victoria
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Razzle Dazzle Frazzle Bazzle is your Magic Code to pour over and make the New!
I am willing to pay a monthly fee, btw. YOU are so Worthy!
Peaceout.
Your Sistar
thank you my friend. 🙂 yeah – maybe that is my magic code.