i feel – sad. late last night i took a cookie out of the refrigerator, poured myself some fresh ginger-root tea and sat on the couch – the only light coming from the light strands hung around the room. i hugged a pillow and sat on that couch and wept and wept. i took in a lot with this JE stuff coming out and had to release my response.
this is just who i am….a highly sensitive being who has never understood – innerstood – NEVER been able to “be ok with” or “accept” the horrors here. all of this horror being brought up and revealed that has been done to the children here – i don’t want to “get it”. i don’t want to “accept it”. and i certainly don’t want to nor need to watch it play out and play this role of observer.
how can one watch this play out by simply observing? this is as heavy as it gets – traumatizing if allowed to seep into the heart and feeling/emotional body. i don’t compartmentalize like that.
today i am heavy with the feeling of weariness i experience in being here – not fitting in. never have. never will. my attempts to “suck it up” and just do are temporary. always have been.
if i chose to come here – well i made a mistake in that choice. and why do we even do that to one another? “you chose to come here” (spoken in holier-than-all of you voice). such pretentiousness. don’t get that either.
it is true as we have read in the Q drops – not all coming out will be for ALL to see. some things are just far too UGH. just like some can eat onions and peppers and spicy foods without a challenge – some of us have more sensitive systems and cannot process. i am one of the sensitive ones.
i am already putting my hand in front of my eyes when i see another JE piece show up. to that i add just one comment – let his victims decide his fate.
for now – i let myself process whatever needs processing and continue on doing the best i can – with self care being priority #1.
on lighter words, i had a carolyn/john dream last night. it was – weird. parts of it felt “real” while most felt compromised. someone else’s version. apparently the power-over continues until the end.
that is all for now.
love,
victoria
I’m beyond caring now how hard it seems in communicating with ppl “out there” in 3D world. I don’t understand them and they don’t understand me. Just one look from me and they back off.
And those who proclaim in a holier than art thou voice that “You chose to come here…” are way off. We’re probably here because we were tricked by the Archons and recycled right back here to be their food. However, according to some sources, as of this year that recycling of humans is no longer happening and 4D astral is cleared out. I hope!
BAM truth! 🙂