Today’s Reflection/Experience (this one feels important)….Music continues to speak to me….

First I woke up with a song playing in my mind.  It’s some song from the 70’s – from a movie.  I just don’t know the name of the song or what movie it belongs to.  I’ve looked – came up empty handed so I am letting it go.  The name can find me.

I feel I am filtering out my life – finding those moments that created an inner experience I want to keep.  Take with me.  ??  As I have shared here, I have been watching a lot of movies lately.  Given I pretty much stopped watching movies several years ago, this is very “unusual” behavior for me.  Watching each movie, I scour the lines and experiences of the characters to help me “recapture” some part of my “lost” self.  It’s been intense and the feeling to do this has been strong.  I’ve tried watching a couple of movies the rest of the family wanted to watch.  There was nothing to see for me and so I could not get into the movie.  And even watching these movies I feel guided to watch, I am often fast forwarding scenes or rewinding to find the “right” moment to capture.  It’s rather bizarre, but I’m going with it.

And what IS “normal” about any of this experience at this point.

So if that isn’t interesting enough, my child, whom I have not told her anything about why I am suddenly watching movies again, told me she’s been having memories come back from her life so far here – good and bad. She said she feels like she’s being called to remember the good and leave the bad behind.  I looked at her – eyes wide – when she said this and she just gave me her sweet little smile and shrugged.  I told her she is brilliant and very tuned in – and to give attention to those prompts and memories.

One last share…..only just 15 minutes ago, I sat down, alone, to have a small bite to eat.  Appetite continues to be down, so at first I was just going to eat in silence but then something prompted me to turn on the radio.  So I turn on our little transistor (I love those – we have a few) and let myself be guided to go to a particular channel.  “Give A Little Bit” by Supertramp is on. A nice song – not a favorite – and after a few moments I thought “eh maybe I will turn the station” but something said to stick with it.  I thought of Grandpa Don – he popped into my mind.  And then, for the very first time, I actually hear the following lyrics:

Now’s the time that we need to share
So, find yourself, we’re on our way back home

Going home
Don’t you need, don’t you need to feel at home?
Oh, yeah, we gotta see

You gotta get a feeling
You come along too

W O W.

I looked out the window – tears came – I went into the whole experience.

I feel I am picking up pieces of myself – taking those things I want to keep with me.  As I type those words, I feel a warmth spread over me – those tears in my throat – and a smile on my face.  Just W O W.

Earlier today I did some tai chi (re-learning what I once used to practice 22 years ago – yes – 22 years).  As I did I could “see” and “feel” how this really is an individual experience now.  So go with whatever comes your way. Follow those quiet, gentle (but persistent) prompts.

That guiding Force is there when we go slow and start from Within.  We’re goin’ Home.  (was just guided to add those last 3 words)

Love,

Victoria

Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Commander of Freedom. Writer. Musician. Composer. Above all I Am A Creator. View all posts by Victoria1111