One of the “new” experiences I am deeply desiring and ready for is a new way of communicating. New language. New ways OF having conversations. Both of which will satisfy my deep longing for more connection. Oh how I am longing for that…
So much of our spoken language is harsh. I have been playing around with sounds and consonants and vowel blends. I have a preference for l’s and vowels. Today I came up with a new word for “hello” (which I have gotten away from). I was saying “greetings” but that feels harsh in my mouth/throat. I thought of the word “aloha” and even the “h” didn’t feel right so I came up with “alola” – and followed that with a smooth gesture with my right hand. Heck, I’m even wanting to change my name to something that contains l’s and vowels. That “v” sound is just not resonating with me now.
There is a scene in the movie “Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets” where we see the beings of the planet Mul and how they greet one another. They gently touch their 3rd eye and wave it back at the other they are greeting. I had naturally been doing that before seeing the movie so I was surprised when I saw that scene.
So much talking we do with all of these words that so often just grate on my nerves now. Noise noise noise. Very little connecting. Just lots of blah blah blah’ing. At this point I would rather just make eye contacts and smile – at least much more of that and less talking. I did that this afternoon when I decided to treat my girl to a mama and daughter lunch date. I didn’t talk much – did a lot of listening. But there were moments where I just sat and watched her – observing – smiling at her. This little being. All her own person. It was quite special. There was far more connecting going on with those eye to eye contact moments than there was using our words.
I’m ready for the party. The new. Deeply deeply deeply ready for it. The NEW and how we all celebrate the new – things – experiences I don’t yet even know of. I will know it when I have created it – when that door opens and I don’t give a god damn darn if I have to wait for 50 thousand more years to have that kind of freedom – I WILL NOT STOP DESIRING ALL THAT I HAVE SEEN and FELT. (not saying that is my timeline – just that this is one dream/vision I AM NOT LETTING GO. I know it THAT deeply.)
It is truly Freedom or Bust for me now.
Love,
Victoria
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