seems to me the further along in this “alleged” transition, the more insane the realm and its systems become. a visit to the store for some food is confirmation that prices continue to skyrocket. i remember a time when i could afford steak. today? not a chance. it’s cheap meat now. most of the time i am ok with that but today? not. one. bit. a visit to the local home/food/variety store and i checked out some kitchen utensils. ours are at least 10 years old and the wooden ones are cracking. the price for these things today? $3-$5 each. really??!!
my mate was online looking for some growing supplies. put in a garden? i tried to drum up some free/barter soil. i have not found that option yet. we have the space – just need the soil. i would like to put out some flowers out front. not in the budget.
all these ways of being/doing i once did – just not in my realm of experience now. decade old clothes now no longer able to mend. i had to laugh the other night when my mate asked what i was doing w/the iron. “putting on a patch on my leggings,” i said. “again?” he asked (i’ve patched them before). “just go buy another pair.” that is when i laughed. gotta find humor when you can when things are just absolutely so ridiculously insane – it escapes your ability to align much less understand/innerstand.
driving out and about today – the traffic was everywhere. people on bikes (even though it was raining heavily). i don’t see as well as i did just two years ago. i’m sure i need new glasses but my insurance doesn’t cover optical care so i make do with what i have.
who here can relate? yes i know many of you can – you have told me such.
so the million dollar question is – if new experiences are not manifesting – if what we “do” is not creating us the desired result – what are we still doing here??
while i do have a feeeeeeeeeeeel this is how it is playing out in this ending before the new – and while i have felt the insanity would only increase as the alleged failing ones fight to the last second – it is just a FEEL. do i KNOW any of this is true? no i don’t. so how much longer can sustain faith and trust in my feels. it’s a great plan i have – the one i envision. awesome. it is one of freedom for every one of us. and so i have the feeeeeeling this is coming but my eyes tell me a different story.
is faith really having more trust in what you feel within than in what you see?
or is that just the comfort we provide ourselves when we know we don’t belong here and are looking for that doorway out.
those are the thoughts that went through my mind as i prepared lunch, prior to sitting down and type away. and as i was in the middle of my doing’s, something told me to go look at the television.
a gift of a Divine message?
or another poke from a consciousness that seems hell bent on moving forward without relenting. until………..until what?
i don’t know today. you tell me.
love,
victoria
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