currently “pushing” at me from within – LET. ME. BE. and note to self: listen to Me. let little me go.
can no longer let anyone else’s agenda for me allow me to give in. it can no longer matter who it is or how i feel. i have to even be careful in who i touch now. i feel ALL i am experiencing is “soaking” into my Being now.
feeling into my empathic side. i want to be compassionate and understanding but i don’t want to feeeeeeeeeeeeeel things from others unless I CHOOSE the experience. so tuning myself up in that regard to be neutral and CHOOSE by asking “do i want to feel into what this person is experiencing?” i honestly feel i need to stop caring about everything and everybody. time to select those experiences consciously.
today we visited with a neighbor. he’s a bachelor – eats a horrendous diet – lots of processed foods. he’s been like family to us and invited us in where he made my girl and i a bologna sandwich. normally i would say no but today i was so out of it – i was simply not myself. not Me. i hadn’t eaten bologna in years. my girl has had maybe one bologna sandwich in her lifetime and that was when she was a toddler. one slice we split – and wow – the stomach upset was quick for both of us.
it is the end of the month and when that happens, money is short (donations are really down for the month, nudge nudge) so for dinner i opened up a can of tomato soup. processed. i could have made it with canned tomato’s if i had wanted to but after last night’s unbelievably strange/long night, i could not find the energy to do much other than open a can and pour. that too upset my stomach.
reminders – do not go visiting when my energy is low/i am tired. i need to be on my game – grounded – Conscious Me online – so i can say “no” to ALL that does not align with Who I Am and Who I want to Be.
and do not eat crap.
perhaps that’s better. does it make me feel like crap? don’t be around it and don’t put it in me. most days i do this – today i slipped.
something has come in today. emotions off the charts for all in the house – and yet i realized it was so much easier today to get to the authentic emotion. pure honesty. beautiful.
the shared dream experience happened again last night – this time it was my child and i having the exact same dream. i’m not so convinced now as i was that these are attack dreams. they are feeling, to me, to be guidance dreams.
let go of all that does not align. let it all go.
settling is 3D. matrix program. let that go.
keeping up and doing the “right” thing. matrix program. let that go.
let others have their own path so i can have breathing room on mine.
even in my exhausted state, i can come up with some good tag lines.
love,
victoria
******
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