the past couple of days i have had the insight appear that we don’t really select our parents. not in the way that is a Fully Conscious/Fully Free choice. we are more or less given a few options and told to pick one.
i have spent the past 2 decades coming to peace with my own parents. seeing them for who they am. and trying to feel “ok” about the concept that i picked them for a reason. they taught me x y z.
nonsense.
listening to my heart ~ would i select them again today?
NO.
not to be cruel or unloving – but i would never put myself into a family in which i did not align.
if i had had the full freedom to not only choose to come here – but also in choosing my parents – i would have selected two people with whom i aligned with energetically. spiritually. mentally. emotionally. i would have selected people who truly gave me the feeling of “home”. and indeed i would have selected parents who would have been supportive of Who I Am.
i am not into pain or suffering or struggle.
i AM “into” freedom. creating. connecting. all in a truly supportive environment.
and i do not know what that experience is like – certainly not from the perspective of this life. i know i have had it – i KNOW it – and i LONG for it as i do most if not all of you do as well.
so yet another cookie crumb i munched on. and it feels like a match (meaning truth).
in the meantime….my thoughts have been on california and the attacks going on there. this is full on war. it is horrifying. these people are being killed – driven from their homes. lots of theories as to why – but the how – is not open for debate. ample evidence shows DEW weapons being used.
which then leads me to wonder – where is the good military to stop this? i have tried to have some conversation over this – many tell me to trust the plan. in a nutshell – shut up with your questioning and get in line with the rest of the cult followers.
it isn’t that i don’t have any faith in such a plan – team q – the alliance – i do. but that doesn’t mean i BLINDLY FOLLOW. and being this is also MY experience – i get to question those who are claimed to be doing the work for us all.
more red pills needing to be taken by these “DO NOT QUESTION THE PLAN” folks.
then i have the thought that i want to walk away from it all. go in hiding somewhere. away from all of this shit show drama. live in peace. clean air. next to the ocean. small community – cheap(er) living. ignorance? maybe. but given my awakening has been 25 years plus in the making and i am weary and quite lonely and patience is becoming more the norm than the exception – i am ready for something new and better. if it must happen here – so be it. i welcome a new creation – a wonderful new experience.
yes. that is a good place to end this peace. (i meant to type “piece” but i typed it that way so i am leaving it as such)
love,
victoria
******
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